Invited to Ex's wedding - Problem with fiancee

DVardysShadow

Eastie77 wrote: »

RadJo, I know the day isn't about me. It's about her AND my ex which is why I think it is unfair I am being banned as my not being would upset him. So she gets to have the perfect day whilst he doesn't.

That is his case to argue with her. Not yours.

You just made his job harder by getting involved in the saucy emails.

scubaangel

Problem with the fiance?? Nope problem with the grooms ex being a flirt and upsetting the bride then not 'getting' why flirty/suggestive emails (in whatever tense) being something which would upset his new partner.

OP if your hubby to be was exchanging that type of email with an ex whilst engaged to you would you be happy about it? I certainly wouldnt and would most likely react in a stronger manner than this bride appears to have done - after all if he's doing that with you what else is he saying to someone else that I've not found out about yet?

pie81

Enough with the OP-bashing! I can sympathise a bit as I have been in situations (well, once) where a male friend's other half has totally got the wrong end of the stick and thought I was flirting ... couldn't have been further from the truth but made things v uncomfortable for a while.

That said, I agree with the other posters - OP shouldn't go to the wedding.

OP, the fact is that it doesn't matter how unreasonable the bride is being or whether the groom wants you there. You are no longer invited. A guest is only invited to a wedding if BOTH bride and groom want them there. If she has withdrawn your invitation then it's withdrawn, no matter what the groom says. So it's not your decision.

Yes, you will be missing out on a fun day with all your circle of mates. But that's you missing out on one fun day. Imagine how much worse it would be for the bride if you went - her wedding day potentially spoiled. Even if she is being irrational, she does genuinely have these feelings and so her day will genuinely be spoiled if you are there. Do you really want that? Come on. Be the bigger person and graciously decline.

notakid

Also he is not defending your right to go because it is important to him you are there. He is only doing so because he is trying to brazen the whole situation out. If he agrees to ban you from the wedding he is admitting he has done wrong and is not to be trusted. He is bluffing his way through.

Also he realises people are going to ask awkward questions and he doesn't want the truth to come out as it makes him look like an idiot.

He just wants to keep the Status Quo and not have to deal with anything!

I think truth be told, if you were ill on the day of his wedding and couldn't attend, it would be all his prayers answered.

*Louise*

pie81 wrote: »

Enough with the OP-bashing! I can sympathise a bit as I have been in situations (well, once) where a male friend's other half has totally got the wrong end of the stick and thought I was flirting ... couldn't have been further from the truth but made things v uncomfortable for a while.

That's a long way away from his fiancee discovering suggestive emails between the two of you though.

Big difference between someone jumping to conclusions and actually having hard evidence in front of you.



In all honesty, if the OP had come on saying 'I made a mistake, how can I assure his fiancee she has nothing to worry about' instead of complaining about not getting to go then there would have been a totally different rection to this thread

aliasojo

Eastie77 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies. I am just gutted at the prospect of missing out on the day due to a silly misunderstanding.


I have asked my ex to sort this out. He has said as far as he is concerned I will be attending and the order of service will be drawn up with my name as I will be singing.

msb5262: I would rather not send her any more e-mails. Her initial messages to me were very hostile and abusive.

For crying out loud, take the hint. You have got one hard neck. This is not your day, you are insignificant.

Would you really attend someone's wedding if they clearly didn't want you there (for whatever reason)? Yeah, excellent idea, make sure the wedding day is a cause for stress and unhappiness. How selfish can you get? :rolleyes:

As for the groom, if he is going to make an issue of this and insist you are there, then he's as selfish as you are. I feel so sorry for the Bride.

floss2

OP, put yourself in the bride's shoes (yes, I know that deep down it's probably what you want, to be marrying him, but you weren't asked)..... would YOU want your H2B's ex there, singing at the service, smiling as she ate & drank at your expense, if she had done to you what you have done to your ex's fiancee? No, I bet you wouldn't.

nikki2804

One of my OH' ex's did this (suggestive emails). I went nuts, they don't speak anymore. But she is rather vindictive to say the least (she threatened to beat me up when I was 8 months pregnant!!)

If she turned up to my wedding she would be swiftly (and roughly) escorted away - no misery or upset!!

miss.bint

An EX is an EX for a REASON... :rolleyes:

Leave them alone now.

naijapower

By the way the OP has gone quiet???? Maybe we should ease off the bashing....lol lol
As they say, the truth is bitter and maybe we have made OP more bitter lol

BTW, OP hasn't told us the exact reason why she split with her ex.
Perhaps she was caught red handed engaging in erotic email exchnage with anoda party...As they say old habits die hard...
On serious note, i maintain my earlier advise, get a life and move on. That's the best thing for your health and for your life.
Goodluck