Need some urgent advice

Sublime_2

I didn't read all of the pages. Didn't feel I needed too. Please do yourself a favour, and forget about him. He left his wife and children for you, and now has left you, for whatever reason.

He has commitment issues. Better off out of it.

shellsuit

I think he was a bit floored that you seemed to be so understanding in the replies, I can only assume he thought you were going to rant and rave at him, which would have made him feel better about letting you down.

He's a pig.

He has said he doesn't want to be in a relationship at the moment.

You seem confused in your reply (how else can you take that though, he is saying he doesn't want to be with you).

Then when you mention face to face, he is making excuses not to meet and talk face to face.

I do think that is it ~ even after 14 months.

I think you were just there as a novelty at first, while he was pished off at home.

Then Christmas has happened and I can bet that he can now see what he will be losing, ie his family.

I do think that if he thought anything of you he would see you face to face to tell you it's over, but with those messages, it doesn't look like he has the balls to.

I'm sorry, the rat has used you good and proper

daska

bargainhunter, everything you have posted about this guy shouts that he is spineless, from his not ending his marriage, to his being unfaithful to both his wife and you.

Sublime_2

Please walk away. You are worth more than this.

cheepskate_2

Doing to you exactly as he did to his wife the first time, just now its you on the receiving end.
Totally agree he is now keeping his options open, probably similar to what he told the wife when she found out, heads a mess, needs time to sort it out etc etc.

Also when men have affairs and the wife throws them out, the relationship that he had with the mistress is now not the same, This is because she now takes the place of the wife, in that she now comes with baggage and all the daily living problems, as a mistress they know not to put that on the man. The relationship is now not a secret and that "secret" adds to the spice for a man/woman.

BARGAINHUNTER!

post deleted

cheepskate_2

BARGAINHUNTER! wrote: »

Im not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I am dying inside. /QUOTE]

Hopefully now you know a little of what it feels like and you will have more compassion and do the right thing if another married man comes into your vicintiy

jackieglasgow

Cheepskate, that was a bit harsh. As women, we all have (IMO) a moral duty to back off another woman's man. But HE was the one who took marriage vows and HE was the one who turns out to have been a spineless cheating creep. Who pretended his marriage was coming to an end, probably because he was bored, and set the OP up for heartbreak.

Before you ask, no I've never been the other woman, but I have been cheated on, and my best friend has just had her partner of 16 years do something similar to her. In fact, something she said about her own situation (her partner dumped the other girl), was that she (the 3rd party) didn't deserve a happy ending either, which I can totally understand. But some men are masters of deception, and the other woman can sometimes be as much the victim. I stress the sometimes, because we all know there are others out there who don't behave decently.

I'm sorry for you OP. I hope if his wife does take him back, he proves himself worthy. Both of you deserve better than that.

smartpicture

If this is the end (which is certainly sounds like), then although it doesn't feel like it, you'll have got off lightly. What worries me is that once he realises you're accepting it's over and his wife won't just let him move straight back in without any effort, then he'll be back again trying to keep the door open with you as well as her. The absolute worst solution for you would be if this drags on and on with him to-ing and fro-ing and putting you through daily agony. Please don't let that happen to you.

He's made it 100% clear that he's not choosing you, so don't be his backup plan if he starts to waver again.

peachyprice

BARGAINHUNTER! wrote: »

You think he has just ended things with me by text? After 14 months together?

That's what his text is saying.
That's why he can't understand why you're being so nice to him.