Problem son (sorry long)

Dreamer2010

Hi Karen,
We had the exact same problem with my sister she would steal from me, my brother and sister all the time and became a compuslive lier where she would lie purely for the sake of it.
My opinion until your son decides to act like your son do not treat him as your son i know that sounds harsh but it is nessasary. Its important you takle this problem my sister live's in my parents 2nd home paying next to no rent, no water, no council tax and yet still screw's my parents over one way or another but like you it means we no longer have to lock bedroom doors ect like we used to.
If you feel you would like to try a diffrent method what about meadiation or similar.

karen310

choille wrote: »

Could you get the help of social services? If he's been in bother with the Police then they usually allocate a social worker, but I know that things are pretty stretched with them


As far as I am aware he has not been in bother with police. Would a social worker get involved at 19 ?

karen310

Getting texts now saying he is having to sleep in his car. I have texted this situation is of his own making. He says he needs to collect stuff , his pillow and quilt , says he feels ill. this is awful.

choille

Sorry I thought he'd been in bother, but now see there were no charges - you can get a social services involved with anyone at any age, but whether that would help the situation or not I don't know.
Sounds like he's feeling a bit sorry for himself tonight & trying to guilt trip you.
Could you talk to him rationanally - by that I mean will he be manipulative & abusive?
What do you feel like doing - if anything?

Money_maker

Where is your partner, is he not around?

karen310

choille wrote: »

Sorry I thought he'd been in bother, but now see there were no charges - you can get a social services involved with anyone at any age, but whether that would help the situation or not I don't know.
Sounds like he's feeling a bit sorry for himself tonight & trying to guilt trip you.
Could you talk to him rationanally - by that I mean will he be manipulative & abusive?
What do you feel like doing - if anything?

I am trying to text rationally to him. He is saying he is ill (as in needs the toilet) my fear is that if I let him in he wont leave. He says he is sleeping in his car.

My partner doesnt live here he lives 20 miles away , hence the house up for sale.

choille

I'm sure you'll be rational Karen, but will he be?

I don't know what I'd do in this situation, it must be hard.

Money_maker

Dont mean to sound harsh but he has already slept in his car so should have something around to keep him warm.

Is there anyone else who can mediate between you, sit down as a threesome and cover everything? Family member, good friend or the like. It would be a chance for you to try to get some explanation for whats been happening as he doesn't appear to have told you why. He could also talk about whats been bothering him and you will have the opportunity to resolve it.

Blackpool_Saver

So it's not just my son who behaves like this then.
I have been through all this recently too apart from the stealing, you have my sympathy.
I am told they come round eventually.
I miss my son how he used to be.

karen310

choille wrote: »

I'm sure you'll be rational Karen, but will he be?

I don't know what I'd do in this situation, it must be hard.

I feel anything but rational.