Problem son (sorry long)

choille

Well done Karen - you've done the right thing.

Have to fully agree with Paddy's Mum in that you have to not 'encourage' this behaviour in any way.
He is very manipulative & uses all the emotional string pulling he can/knows. It's very hard for you to resist, but you are being incredibly strong. Good for you phoning SS & trying to step back a little from this situation.
I'm glad your OH is backing you up.
Him having no petrol is his doing & he does sound like a bit narcisssistic in that he is the centre of his world & believes that everything revolves around him & he does not take into consideration the impact of his actions of others. Cannot understand what a complete pain in the !!!! he's being.
It could be his age - I hope so. It's so good that you are not dancing to his tune & I do so admire your strength. Hope you can get a bit of rest today.
All the best.

karen310

LegalBlonde wrote: »

Where does he have the money to text you all the time??? If it is a contract at your address you know what I am going to say!

He does have a contract , would I be liable ,( sorry dont know much about stuff) , he was in arrears with it and was on incoming calls only , when he got his last job , he got straight with them and now I assume he is about to go back to square one.

LegalBlonde

I don't want to worry you about things that really aren't that much of a priority right now, I THINK it would be liable as in his name but if it is at your address which I assume it is, I would just send the next letter/bill back saying ""not at this address"

I know it is not the most pressing concern right now but it just struck me to ask how he is managing to text you all the time if he has no money......well anyway I can see you have gone off line so good luck with it all and hope he gets sorted with a hostel x

karen310

LegalBlonde wrote: »

I don't want to worry you about things that really aren't that much of a priority right now, I THINK it would be liable as in his name but if it is at your address which I assume it is, I would just send the next letter/bill back saying ""not at this address"

I know it is not the most pressing concern right now but it just struck me to ask how he is managing to text you all the time if he has no money......well anyway I can see you have gone off line so good luck with it all and hope he gets sorted with a hostel x

Thanks , will keep that in mind when bills come , I dont suppose it will be long before its disconnected again anyway.

karen310

skintscotslass wrote: »

Hello Karen



How did the house viewing go?

SSL xx

Not sure really , they seemed to like it (even if it is like an igloo at the moment with no heating :eek: I had to explain it was a temporary blip.

honeyD

Sorry to hear what you are going through with your son.
Could it be that he isnt sleeping in his car as he says? Could he be using this as a way to make you feel guilty, making him sleep in his car?

Savvy_Sue

I agree that it would be great if he got into a foyer, but he won't last long there either if he doesn't ditch the attitude. Actually he won't last long in a hostel either, he'll find there are rules wherever he goes, and if he doesn't stick to them, landlord / agencies are a lot less tolerant than you.

But that is not YOUR problem. Change your SIM, and stop answering his texts when there's nothing you can say.

paddy's_mum

So you're not to know where his overnight bed is - really?!! How arrogant he is being. :mad: He hasn't got anywhere near rock bottom yet if he is still trying to wound you? Hasn't he got enough real and pressing problems to deal with to keep him occupied without having to find the time and intellectual effort to take another poke at you? If it wasn't so poisonous and unjust, I'd truly laugh out loud at such infantile posturing.

Why are you not allowed to know ... unless it's yet another opening to hit at you, wound your feelings and provide another stick to beat you with. Your son really does have a lot of hate against the world and everything in it, doesn't he?

I strongly urge you to seek counselling for yourself or this continuing campaign of Get Mother is going to break you down, physically, mentally and emotionally.

You're being strong but the time is coming where you are going to have to cut off contact or else go under with the weight of it all. You must take steps to defend yourself, honestly.

You do realise that if this was about a husband and not a son, his behaviour could only be termed as domestic abuse/mental cruelty? I shall be thinking of you in the coming days.

karen310

honeyD wrote: »

Sorry to hear what you are going through with your son.
Could it be that he isnt sleeping in his car as he says? Could he be using this as a way to make you feel guilty, making him sleep in his car?

I believe he was in his car last night and at least 1-2 other nights , but I think he probably stayed with mates the othet nights , not sure though.

karen310

paddy's_mum wrote: »

So you're not to know where his overnight bed is - really?!! How arrogant he is being. :mad: He hasn't got anywhere near rock bottom yet if he is still trying to wound you? Hasn't he got enough real and pressing problems to deal with to keep him occupied without having to find the time and intellectual effort to take another poke at you? If it wasn't so poisonous and unjust, I'd truly laugh out loud at such infantile posturing.

Why are you not allowed to know ... unless it's yet another opening to hit at you, wound your feelings and provide another stick to beat you with. Your son really does have a lot of hate against the world and everything in it, doesn't he?

I got the impression he didnt make a specific request for me to not be told where he is , I think the s/w probably just asked could I be informed and knowing my son he has probably just answered without giving it thought