MSE Parents Club Part 9

karen1907

Hi all,

congrats to all who have had their babies in december and in 2010

I wish I could be on here more to keep in touch but have been struggling with motherhood - have been up and down like a rollercoaster ride! still keep crying randomly. Some days Tegan just never seems to want to stop feeding and when she is not she is crying so feel quite drained.

I think she has colic so am hoping over the next three weeks things will really improve. But I seem to struggle to feed her enough at night so am thinking of giving her a bottle of formula to get my evenings back. But then i like breast feeding and don't want to lose it. Over christmas I was expressing in the morning so the grandparents could feed her in the evening and I could have a break and a glass of wine if I wanted.

Today I have expressed 3oz so later if she doesn't seem to be getting enough DH can give her it in a bottle to just give me a break.

Any advice on switching to formula?

Its always strange because tegan doesn't seem to have a pattern some nights she will sleep 11pm-8am then others 12-3am then awake again at 6. I just can't seem to figure it out. Last night she slept 10.30 till 5.30am???

Will be trying to come on here regularly again now as I miss the support.

My_Fathers_Daughter

I'd just like to say that sometimes my hubby completely surprises me.

I am making a clock for the practice wife with piccies of DSS for each number IYSWIM and hubby has spent the morning going through all the photos on our external hard drive to find the best ones of DSS.


I really thought I would be doing it myself tonight, what a lovely surprise.

I love him :A




Karen - hugs hun, just spotted your post as I was typing.
There is no reason why you can't introduce a bottle of formula in the evenings if you want to, it certainly doesn't mean you have to give up BF'ing.
Feel free to have a good old rambling moan, it always helped me, and believe me, we have all been where you are now. xx

feelinggood_2

Karen, it is a tough choice to top up with formula. I'm probably bias towards breastfeeding unintentionally, but don't brush off what I say on that basis. Someome more 'pro-formula' will be along later to give you the opposing view. You have to ask how it'd make you feel. While it is only a small risk, it is still a risk to the breastfeeding relationship to top-up.
How important is breastfeeding to you?
Would you be sad if you stopped?
Would you feel guilt for giving formula?
Will she take a bottle easily?
Did she suffer from bottle preference or nipple confusion at all?
Do you think that it might start a slippery slope to giving more and more formula?
Do you have someone able/willing to bottle feed for you?

Topping up can be a godsend for some, makes no difference to others, and can have negative effects for some. Have a think about it, and listen to your gut. I gave three formula feeds, and the guilt and shame it caused me was not worth it.

I'm sorry you have been struggling. It does sound hard, the combination of crying and feeding. What is her weight gain like? Have you had your latch checked by someone properly trained?

*I do hope that doesn't come across as harsh, judgemental or anti-formula. Or overly persuasive. It isn't meant to, I just give the advice that would help me best, don't feel bad if it just sounds like a load of rubbish to you.

Fitzio

Hi Karen,
Well done on BFing so far. You are doing brilliantly and I know how hard it is to make a decision to supplement with bottles. If you choose to do so, remember that you are doing it for your own good and therefore Tegan’s good too. I got myself really upset about using bottles, even though I knew it was the best thing for us, so I know it’s difficult. Just do what you think is right and you will get there. For what it’s worth, we use Aptimil as the hype says it’s closest to breastmilk and at the time I did want to try and continue breastfeeding. But it’s probably just advertising nonsense so whichever one you prefer would be fine. I am sure there are a few people on here who give bottle milk at bedtime, but still manage to breastfeed too so it doesn’t necessarily have to be one or the other. I am not an expert though.

Have you tried anything for the colic? We found Colief to be really good, but expensive, but I think different things work for different people. Are you doing baby massage as well? That definitely helped us.

I personally wouldn’t get too hung up on a sleeping routine, particularly if you are breastfeeding. Just be grateful of the nights where she does seem to be sleeping through – a lot of babies are up every couple of hours.

Are you getting out and about during the day so you have adult company too? I think that’s important, particularly if Tegan is not going down early (same as Holly, although I don’t mind it).

Hugs. x

weezl74

Hi Karen, welcome back

I've nothing useful to say about BF but if you do switch then there's a few of us who can help with the practicalities of FF.

I recommend cold water sterilising, swapping powders til you find one that Tegan's tummy and bowels agree with, not getting too worried about making up the milk just in time for the feeds, you can do it a bit in advance

Tommee tippee closer to nature are meant to be designed to be closest to a nipple in shape, so might help with nipple confusion.

Bad mummy confession. Usually fergie naps at 3. Today he went in the cot and was still squawking at 3.30! Then it dawned on me I'd missed a bottle out! Ye gads!:o:D He's fed now and magically has gone to sleep.

elle_gee

Did that routine come about so you could enjoy your daily dose of AT interuption-free, weezl? :rotfl:

My_Fathers_Daughter

Whilst I respect and appreciate Feelies point of view FWIW I NEVER felt any feelings of guilt when I gave Benjamin formula, which wasn't often until we cut down on daytime BF at 9 months or so because I was going back to work.

There is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, and shame is not a word that should be in any mummys vocabulary IMHO.

I successfully mixed BF, bottle feeding EBM and where I wanted to formula (Aptamil) for months and months! In fact, I still do and Benjamin is 10 months next week.


Don't underestimate the physical, emotional and hormonal drain that BF places on your body - it is natural to feel drained by the process.

I do agree about getting your latch checked, just in case, do you go to a Booby Club? The best thing I ever did was join a Booby Club, I can't recommend it enough.
(Breastfeeding Support Group!)

Buttonmoons

PP - The plastic surgeon is about my stomach, I've been having issues with it and myself ever since it errr developed. You know an apron. Well It disgusts me, It's probably not as bad as some peoples, but it bulges through clothes so clothes shopping is a nightmare and usually ends in tears. It pulls my stomach down so that my belly button looks like a slit and I'm getting recurring infections in it - smells lovely btw!

It's a long story but pregnancy, ballooning to 17st and shrinking back to my 11st something (still fat aswell) has totally wrecked it. Resembles a paper bag.

karen1907

Oh all your kind comments are making me cry - thank you

I joined a breastfeeding group when Tegan was 2 weeks old luckily - would recommend it to everyone. A few of us from there meet up at each others houses on a monday as well (altthoug with this weather it is hard to get out)

I kept asking my HV about the feeding and she checked and said Tegan was latching on okay so the only thing I can think is that I am getting tired and not eating/drinking enough which is affecting my milk supply?? Maybe OH will take over a bit tomorrow so I can get a bit of rest and me time.

I know that she will take a bottle after expressing over christmas( I use the freebie bottle that was mentioned on the pregnancy forum that is meant to resemble the way babies breast feed called breastflow )

SugarSpun

tiamai_d wrote: »

SS, did Molly like her apple then?

The !!!!!! look on her face was wonderful - but she loved it and was grabbing the spoon to get more of it into her :rotfl:

SeptemberBaby wrote: »

Very exciting, SS! Have you booked your flights yet and forgiven the postman?!

I've found the most absurd flights - £885 each if we fly from Munich to Heathrow, then get ourselves to Gatwick and fly from there (three hours after the first flight lands :rolleyes:) but if we make our own way to Gatwick the same flight is £495. Since you can get to and from Gatwick for £49, I think they're being ridiculous!

Just waiting to see where we need to stay, so I can see if a package is better value, then I'll book :j

I'd never buy the Paul Frank stuff, Boo, but I'm very pleased that BIL will :rotfl: I just wish it was a neutral colour for recycling for the next kid (just in case).

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

The blanket is the same as the inside lining of the footmuff - white with what looks like fruit polos on it

Ooooh that's not what we have. *wants*
Lovely of your husband, too - and I do think it's wonderful that you both have such a good relationship with the practice wife. And that you call her that.

Tia, your footmuff sounds lovely

Karen, Feelie's advice re breastfeeding is very sensible - I find that Molly won't entertain a bottle but during growth spurts all I seem to do is sit under her while she feeds ... and feeds ... and feeds. But they only last a few days to a week at a time, thankfully.

Bruno, the US passport's fairly easy to get, although you need colour photocopies of all your documents. They don't need you to actually give them your passports for any length of time though, hence Molly has a US one but no German or UK one yet.