Partner cheated and left - what do I do?

Quackers

Hope you have the best possible Christmas Lilac...

Merry Christmas to you all & best wishes for a brighter 2010 ..:xmassmile

Mutter_2

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

Hi Lilacblue - this is a bit off topic but this thread here from the Debate House Prices forum (hidden from the public - you have to be signed up to read it) shows how Max has dealt with his situation (completely different from yours as it deals with redundancy etc.) & gives a link to his blog (in his personal profile). Its a long thread, & but a great read & his blog is brilliant. I mean "great" in the interesting way - it isn't great to read about others misfortune, but I couldn't think how else to explain what I mean. You do have a flair for writing & I think a lot of people would agree with that.

I hope Xmas goes OK for you & eveyone else in the same kind of awful situation - it is a difficult time for many of us. :beer:

Thanks for the link JKS. Not a thread I would have dreamt I'd be visiting, but our lives can turn on a sixpence.

Just a few pages in and I have my heroes and scoundrels. Needless to say, the heroes are not being rewarded as well as the scoundrels.

Lilac, not hi-jacking your thread, you are one strong Lady with a capital L.

What I cannot figure though, is why did you not get a marriage certificate?
Together for nineteen years is long term in marriage, but a partnership in the UK counts as diddly squat.

zzzLazyDaisy

Hi Lilac

It's christmas eve, and a rotten time to be feeling abandoned and alone. You are one strong lady and I admire you loads.....

But it isn't a weakness to grieve for what you have lost

Happy christmas to you and your babies, and more importantly - here's to a happy and prosperous New Year to everyone who is alone this christmas, things can only get better!

:beer:

duchy

I'm going to disagree with Daisy -I don't think you've been abandoned Hun I think you've come to a crossroads and made a decision and that's very different. I hope today is a good day for you and the kids and that your ex washes up !! LOL

Wishing everyone on this thread everything they wish for themselves......and then some this Christmas and in the year ahead xx

jdturk

I think you should offer your ex OH this deal

He pays an amount of money to cover the mortgage and Council tax untill your current youngest is 18, then you sell the house and take 50% each of the equity each.

thats if he is civil....

bundly

Morgan_Ree wrote: »

Why does she need to ask herself that??

Is there some sort of valid reason to cheat that we don't know about?

I agree with Morgan.

Why should she spend time soul-searching? This might end up with trying to blame herself.

Why do men cheat? Because they can. Because society makes perhaps more of sex than it should. Sometimes a man wants to massage his own ego by "proving" he can still "pull" a woman. All sorts of reasons.

Women cheat, too!

bundly

jamesey07 wrote: »

morgan yes i think she should ask herself why did he cheat, because it takes 2 to make a relationship and 2 to break 1, if he loved her so much he wouldn't of cheated, he clearly doesn't love her for him to cheat, i ask the question that were they taking eachother for granted? because that is the KILLER for manys a relationships.

No James, far too simplistic. Sex and love and not the same. It is possible to love someone and still fancy a bit of sex with someone else. Not to defend him, but Jamie you are very naive!

Fire_Fox

alleycat` wrote: »

Slightly off topic - but to hear anyone say this sort of thing because of the actions of another person breaks my heart.

Hopefully FF it isn't that long.

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

Fire Fox - unfortunately I know just how you feel when it comes to trusting anyone again. I hope it does get easier for you, especially at this "festive" time. I don't have any words of advice for trusting again (indeed, I'd love to hear some ) but I do take comfort & hope from those who post here & who have managed to work things out.

He knows how much he's hurt me and said he's sorry a million times. I wish he hadn't told me, and I don't know why he did. I still love him and I miss him and he's said the same to me ... I'd have him back in a heartbeat.

Thanks for your kind words and sorry to hijack the thread.

larmy16

Just as an aside, can you imagine what would have been said about a female golfer who had been found in the same situation as Tiger Woods with 11 or so extra curricular participants?

I very much doubt that there would have been so much speculation on the psychological reasons for the cheating.

She would have been named many things, most of them beginning with a big S!

Sl@g
Sl&t
Sl@pper

Such is the difference between sexual experience for men and women!

rosered1963

Hi - just to say hope everything is going ok as it can be Lilac xxx and I hope the New year brings you and your children a new and better life.

RR