Grandparents I need your opinion.....

flower24

I think she needs to realise how lucky she is to have you tbh.

I am 22 and have 2 children. My mum is fabby, but she works full time as a primary school teacher, and so can't really help out too much. She occasionally has the kids if my and my OH fancy a trip to the cinema etc, but it's a rare treat. She comes and helps me put the kids to bed on a tues night when my OH is at college.

Have been ill for the past week and it's been bloody awful and haven't had anyone to take the kids off my hands just so I can have a rest for an hour or so. I think so many people take what their family do for granted.

elisebutt65

I would probably go to the college crèche and some nurseries in the area and get some literature- highlight the costs and pop them through her letterbox!

And then take your phone off the hook for a week! You're doing her a favour - NOT the other way round As a single mum she can't afford NOT to be in your good books - so all this refusing to let you see GD is rubbish! And get your mum on side -you don't want her doing it either. A week of no babysitting or childminding should set her straight.

My Mum and Dad look after mine in the summer for a week or 2 here and there because they want them to come up. THey live miles away from me so I had to rely on nursery and after school clubs when I was at Uni and believe me, I would have leapt down their throats if they'd been able to help. Mum came down and stayed once or twice when I had to go abroad on field trips, but this was after I 'asked' her - not demanded!

She's a selfish little cow and needs to be slapped down!

shellsuit

She acts like that because you let her.

She talks to you like crap because you let her.

She b!tched about you on facebook because she knew you would see it and feel guilty.

She asked your Mum to babysit because she knew you would feel guilty.

She's got you all wrapped around her little finger and she knows exactly what buttons to press.

As for her saying she would stop you from seeing your Grandaughter, that is something only a horrid, selfish and spoilt little cow would do.

Sorry, but that's the truth.

flower24

Candy girl, how is she coping with life as a mummy in general?

I found it really hard, and still do sometimes, knowing that my friends who don't have children can do what they want and have nobody to answer to, maybe she's struggling a bit? I've found tbh that my so-called friends don't want to know me. It's hard work being a young mum, and if she's a single mum as well even harder. Maybe encourage her to go to baby/toddler groups and make friends with some other mums? I've made a good friend through our daughters being friends.

Not condoning her behaviour at all btw, but I've been known to lash out at my mum when I've been feeling sh1tty. x

SammyD_2

I also think there is a tendency these days that if you are a Mum you can keep up your old life - something my Mum and Dad never thought possible. I am always surprised by my friends who expect to leave the kids with baby sitters several times a month in the evening, or with the grandparents over a whole weekend. Maybe her friends all do the same and she expects it of you too.

Don't cut her off - she is your daughter however difficult she is, and you are both negotiating a new part of your relationship together. I think doing what you have done is enough - ie explaining your position, and then leave her to think that over.

I never ask my parents to babysit, although like an earlier poster, I pay my Mum a market rate to look after my children while I work. She has a busy life so I dont like to impose outside those hours, although the odd time she has stepped in. And sometimes, my Mum is the one who gets the grumpy end of me, cos I know she loves me no matter what. Not fair, but she tells me that I will be on the receiving end from my own daughter before I know it!

aliasojo

Guys, no need to call the girl names, she is selfish and spoilt but calling her a cow is going too far, she's still the OP's daughter don't forget.

Sorry but I'd be upset if it were my girl who was being called names, no matter how selfish she was.

candygirl

aliasojo wrote: »

Guys, no need to call the girl names, she is selfish and spoilt but calling her a cow is going too far, she's still the OP's daughter don't forget.

Sorry but I'd be upset if it were my girl who was being called names, no matter how selfish she was.

It's ok I can see what Shellsuit means, and am not offended but upset anyway by the situation, and ashamed that she is indeed spoilt:o
All your comments and points of view have helped me to get things clearer in my head, and not feel so guilty anymore, so thanks x :A
BTW DGD is here watching Peppa pigs xmas DVD lol:rotfl::rotfl:

aliasojo

Ok...gets down off the moral soapbox. As you were, everyone.

But please don't anyone ever call my girl a cow....it's not nice and I'll get upset.

candygirl

aliasojo wrote: »

Ok...gets down off the moral soapbox. As you were, everyone.

But please don't anyone ever call my girl a cow....it's not nice and I'll get upset.

lol thanks, I can see your point, but knew it was said in context;) xx

shellsuit

aliasojo wrote: »

Guys, no need to call the girl names, she is selfish and spoilt but calling her a cow is going too far, she's still the OP's daughter don't forget.

Sorry but I'd be upset if it were my girl who was being called names, no matter how selfish she was.

I see your point and I'm sorry, it was just the first thing that popped into my head. If it were a child, I'd think 'spoilt brat'. With it being a woman, I think 'spoilt cow', so seeing as she is acting like a child, let's say spoilt brat then.

candygirl wrote: »

It's ok I can see what Shellsuit means, and am not offended but upset anyway by the situation, and ashamed that she is indeed spoilt:o
All your comments and points of view have helped me to get things clearer in my head, and not feel so guilty anymore, so thanks x :A
BTW DGD is here watching Peppa pigs xmas DVD lol:rotfl::rotfl:

See, you're like my Dad. He offers anything and everything to me and his Grandchildren. He would baby sit every night of the week if I asked him.

If the kids asked him for £100, he would give it to them.

I only ask him to babysit once in a blue moon. Infact I think the last time he babysat was about 3 months ago, and that was only when we went to the cinema.

I don't ask him for money, even though I know he would say Yes.

I don't take the pish with him. I appreciate everything he does and offers and know he has his own life.

Your daughter needs to start appreciating what she has, ie you.

It makes me feel angry and sad that it seems she doesn't give a fig about you and your feelings.