blighted ovum (miscarriage)

jellyhead

oh that's so sad

it hasn't happened to me, but my aunt had a stillborn baby and she took photos, some of her holding the baby too, that might seem a bit gruesome to some people but she said it helped her, because that was her baby and she loved him.

it is very difficult to know what to say. my aunt didn't want to talk about it.

emma_b_4

im so sorry that happened to your friend. maybe try https://www.babyloss.com for some ideas, they have a forum there, and a specific one for mic, stillbirth etc. i have been using the forum this week.
it is hard to support some1 thru something like this as she might not know what she wants..
try the site it might help you out x

Spendless

Hester wrote:

I don't want to hijack your thread but i thought I might draw upon the wisdom of all the ladies here. A friend has just had a still birth - she was one week overdue and had to be induced. I simply don't know what to say to her or what to do to help in anyway. I guess there is nothing I can do. Has anyone had a simlar experience and can recall what helped, even just for a milisecond, at that time?

I am really sorry to hear that. Has she been in touch with SANDS (stillbirth and neo-natal death society). Many hospitals do an annual remembrance service for those who have lost a baby at any stage of pregnancy or shortly afterwards for whatever reason. Ask her if she needs help in any way practical or otherwise. When we were told our 1st baby wouldn't survive and the pregnancy was ended as a result I couldn't bear to pack away my baby things and my MIL and SIL did it for me. I also made an album and put babys scan picture and condolence cards in it, with details of the name he would have been called. This was more for me at a later date cos even 7.5 years on and 2 kids later I have only managed to look at it a few times. Other suggestions might be buying a plant/rosebush/tree in garden as a remembrance.

shelly

For those that asked me to keep you updated on my cancer diagnosis, I have started another thread entitled "Update for those interested-my cervical cancer"

Crispy_Ambulance

Hester wrote:

Emma - I am very sorry for your loss. As soon as you know you are pregnant, you start dreaming about your baby and talking to it. I can't bear it when people say that an early miscarriage "wasn't a baby".

I don't want to hijack your thread but i thought I might draw upon the wisdom of all the ladies here. A friend has just had a still birth - she was one week overdue and had to be induced. I simply don't know what to say to her or what to do to help in anyway. I guess there is nothing I can do. Has anyone had a simlar experience and can recall what helped, even just for a milisecond, at that time?

I don't think there is anything you can do that will ease the pain of losing a child. As someone else has said, SANDS will be very helpful and The Compassionate Friends (for bereaved parents) have a helpful website.
http://www.tcf.org.uk
http://www.uk-sands.org

The main thing is to keep talking to her and listening to her. And talk about her baby - this was her child and not to mention him/her is to act as though they never existed. And remember that grief lasts - a phone call or card in a few weeks/months time will be much appreciated.

The National Childbirth Trust (NCT) has an experiences register with volunteers who have shared a similar experience who are willing to talk to other parents. If your friend contacts head office they may be able to help
http://www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com

Gingham_Ribbon

My friend lost her daughter at 10 days old. She copes very well and says that her regular SANDS meetings have been a major factor in her being able to get through.

daisykate124

Hello to all and big hugs to all that have lost

ive had 4 miscarriages and know how much of an upsetting time it can be and you never really forget but it does heal in time. I had a terrible experience in the hospital with the staff and there attitudes. i didnt know what was happening to me. i couldnt understand why i didnt know my own body and what was going on inside me. All of the pregnancys were different i lost at different times but all eventual scans proved the same thing that the babies didnt grow past 6 weeks. i was refered to a speciallist who tested me for abosulutly everything and all the test came back ok so i was still none the wiser why it was happening to me. i was advised to take 1/2 an asprin when i found out i was pregnant and to call them so i could be monitored so when i got pregnant the next time thats what i did and i was scaned every week up until 12 weeks i was also given more tests and found that my hormone levels were dropping so i was given some drugs to help my hormomes stay up but it was still a constant worry for me. in the job that i do i was not able to continue doing therefore every female that goes on light duties is automatically pregnant even if they are not so everyboday knew from day one that i was pregnant which made it even more hard, my hubby and i took each day as it came but i still didnt beleive i was having a baby and even now i look at my daughter at 7 months old and cant actually beleive she is mine.

It is tough but think possitive it will happen eventually. i used to hate it when people used to say "it was probably for the best" i could of killed them but now i look back and now is the best time for me as all my friends are all having babies at the same time and i really beleive that now is the right time in my life so much so i want another one next year so fingers crossed it all goes well


You will know when the time is right to try again and when that time comes try and relax and enjoy it and if it does happen again remember there are people who can help you

i raised over £700 for Tommys the baby charity in 2004/2005 and they have a good website http://www.tommys.org/

like i kept telling people when i was having trouble i will be a MuM and so will you :cheesy:

jo_b_2

Hi emma

Thanks for starting this thread. Like many others, I didn't know what a blighted ovum meant.

Some of you might know that a few weeks ago, I announced my second pregnancy on here. I had a straightforward pregnancy with my first child - conceived straightaway, no sickness, no illnesses during pregnancy and a natural delivery. This baby was conceived as soon as we started trying and was due at the exact time that we wanted it to be.

Unfortunately, I started bleeding at the weekend and had an early pregnancy scan yesterday. To be honest, I wasn't going to mention it on here just yet, but seeing your thread just seemed too much like fate.

Anyway - the scan just found an empty sac. The hospital were a bit non-commital and have said that I could have got my dates wrong and not be as far gone as I thought. (Having a positive result 4 weeks ago makes it really unlikely!) so I have got to go back for another scan next week just to confirm.

Since the scan, the amount of blood etc passed - it is pretty clear that I have lost the baby so I'm not misleading myself with any false hopes.

I think it is difficult to explain the lack of a baby to other people. Even my husband said 'Is it still classed as a miscarriage if there was never any baby there?' I will probably just use the term 'miscarriage' to people and not try to explain the empty sac/blighted ovum concept.

Best wishes to everybody who has had similar experiences. xx

emma_b_4

so sorry to hear that you have had a MC, or a possible MC. i too thought my pregnany would be problem free after bn "low risk" for evrything and i think thats why i was waiting so long for a scan.

i would just say mc as it is too hard to explain a million times what it is. this one of the reasons i started the thread - hoping some ppl would have heard of it and i wouldnt feel like the only one ever to have experienced it, and hoping that maybe it would help other ppl and also educate some ppl on what it is.
i am sorry that you have had a MC, it really isnt nice and i have found it harder to move on from than i thought i would.this thread has been really helpful, there is now some very good links in it too xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

shelly

So sorry to hear of your recent loss jo_b. ((((Hugs)))) to you both.