blighted ovum (miscarriage)

carolpinkdreamer

I had exactly the same thing happen to me. My morning sickness had only stopped 3 days before I went for the scan, but I'd had no blood loss or pain or any signs of anything being different to my 1st successful pregnancy (2 years earlier). Iwas completely shocked by the scan and obviously distraught. I had to go for D & C the day after the scan.

The hospital advised that I had 3 periods before attempting another pregnancy but my DH wanted us to wait for 12 months (don't think his nerves were up to it to be honest) and he made sure we had plenty of condoms, HOWEVER, just 2 months later I was sick and nauseus again and a test confirmed I was pregnant.

My DD was born 12 months after my miscarriage. It helped me a great deal that I was pregnant again on the due date of my miscarried baby. I felt sad on that day but also happy to be pregnant again.

I think that with any pregnancy you make plans for the future and imagine how your life will be with THAT baby, and it is very hard when a pregnancy ends unsuccessfully, to think that those plans and dreams won't happen.

I just want you to know that there can be a happy ending after this has happened, ignore all those people who talk rubbish and don't understand what you've been through. x x x x x

jbbonce

nadnad wrote: »

i know this is an old old thread but i came across it and i just wanted someone to talk to. i had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago (a missed miscarriage i was 13 weeks when it happened but baby had died before that) and up until this week i thought i was coping quite well. This week i'm just so sad inside myself if you know what I mean, normally I can get over sadness and talk myself out of it which I think I have been doing but this week its with me all the time. i think about it constantly. every child i see i think how lucky the parents are and what a miracle it is, i'm jealous of every pregnant woman - although im trying not to be. i'm still off work i saw my gp 3 weeks ago and she said i wasnt ready for work and signed me off for 3 weeks. the 3 weeks is up this friday and i dont know what to do for the best i feel so down and im still finding it really difficult to talk to people, i can only do that on my own terms ie me phone them or me visit them, i have to build up the courage.
i dont know whether i should go back to work on monday and just move on or whether that will be too much for me. the doctor said she'd give me as long as i need. but i dont know whether staying off will make me worse or give me time to get stronger.
im just so sad.

I wish i had some advice to give, or could say something to make you feel better, but i haven't. I just want you to know that i really feel for you and your oh.

nats3006

Awwwwww hugs to you and dont worry!

You will have a baby when your body is fit and ready
xx

outrageous_monkey

It doesnt sound like your quite ready for work, but then would it help to go back to work as it might help take your mind off what has happened to you recently?

What you're going thru sounds totally normal to me. You're grieving, and you'll go thru every emotion possible and thats going to take some time to come to terms with.

Like the last poster, I wish I had the right words to say, but I dont. My heart goes out to you and your OH.

jo_b_2

nadnad wrote: »

i know this is an old old thread but i came across it and i just wanted someone to talk to. i had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago

i dont know whether i should go back to work on monday and just move on or whether that will be too much for me. the doctor said she'd give me as long as i need. but i dont know whether staying off will make me worse or give me time to get stronger.
im just so sad.

Hi nadnad

Personally, I went back to work quite quickly after my miscarriage and did find that it was helpful for me. (Obviously, everybody is different and will have different responses and reactions.)

It was difficult going back to work initially - everybody was really kind and well-meaning but even simple comments about how I was coping left me close to tears. I think I would have found this even more difficult though if I had taken more time off work, as the wounds would have been resurrected again.

Hopefully, you're able to talk to your OH about how you're feeling and there is always somebody online here who will listen - even if they aren't able to give you any answers.

Best wishes. xx

smartiepants

Take as much time as you need, but you might need other people around you a bit more, grief is a strange thing and hits everyone in a different way, I know that I couldn't stand to talk to anyone at all, and didn't want it mentioned, but, at the same time, needed to talk about it on my terms at my speed, and as soon as I started to talk about it, the whole thing became so much easier and I did actually feel better about everything.

My heart goes out to you, and your partner,

Take care of each other.

Allthough you will have heard this before, time is a great healer and you will feel a lot better very soon.
xxxx

izoomzoom

Hi nadnad

I remember you posting on the pregnancy board. I am terribly sorry, and don't know how how you are feeling, as I have never been through anything like that.

I just hope that time and talking will help you heal.

Hope to see you back on that board when you are good and ready.

((((((((((((((((((((((((nadnad))))))))))))))))))))))))))

emma_b_4

i have pmed you xx

laurz

I have had 3 miscarriages but there is light at the end of the tunnel i now have 2 happy healthy kids. my mums friend had 14 miscarriages, then IVF for years, she gave up and within 3yrs she had 2 kids.

I hated the fact everyone said : a) you are still young you can try again.
b) at least it happened at that stage and not l8r on.

i felt jealous and teary everytime i saw babies, i thought about it all the time. But it does get easier i promise.

my heart goes out to you luv!

SeptemberBaby_2

Its the first anniversary of my miscarriage this weekend and I have mixed emotions as I'm pregnant again. This baby will never replace my first one but I have grieved and time has been a great healer.

I miscarried at home at 10 weeks before any scans so don't know what went wrong. I thought my world had ended but eventually I felt able to try again and was pregnant by my previous due date which helped alot.

Take care of yourself, Nadnad. You will know when to go back to work but maybe having some normality back might set you on the right road.

Hugs for all xxx