blighted ovum (miscarriage)

osian

To Sarahsaver (and everyone else who has had a loss.)

I'm so sorry for your loss and for what you have been through. Thank you for posting about your experience.

I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks earlier this year. I was "lucky" that as it was so early on, I did not have to have any intervention. It was just similar to that 'time of the month'. My doctor was very nice to me though.

The first week or so is very difficult as I think you have all those hormones in your body and I think they make you very tearful. I found that after the first week had passed, I felt a lot better (my head had cleared a lot), but still sad inside, even now.

I find that in real life, I only know of a couple of people who have had miscarriages. No-one ever talks about it, so you may not even know if a close friend had gone through the same thing. It is very helpful to read other peoples stories and know that you are not alone, that you are not a freak of nature. It is also comforting to hear about people who have healthy pregnancies after a miscarriage, as it gives hope.


Sorry for waffling on! I just wanted to thank everyone on this thread for being so open about something which is rarely discussed in life. I hope
you get everything you hope for in the future.

x

Siouxie_2

Emma, im so sorry for what you have been through. People are so insensitive with what they have said to you! ((((Hugs)))). Put it down to their ignorance...you know you were pregnant. You will move on with your life sweetheart xxxXxxx

shelly

Sorry ladies to read what you are going through recently.

Don't know what else to say, its one of them days today.

pandas66

Best Wishes SS and to your family, its heartbreaking.

Sarahsaver

shelly wrote: »

Sorry ladies to read what you are going through recently.

Don't know what else to say, its one of them days today.

Thankyou for posting. Better to admit that you do not know what to say than some of these howlers I have heard...
'What is upsetting you right now' (from the doc)
'Well sometimes these things are for the best'
'Well that is why most people don't tell anyone before 12 weeks'
'Oh are you sure you should have been trying for a baby after all you have had a stroke'

I think people need to be educated about miscarriage. It is a kind of bereavement and most people would not DARE say such things to someone who has experienced the loss of a loved one.

People keep phoning me but I am fielding the calls.(i.e ignoring most LOL;)) What do they want me to say 'i am over it now'? I had made so many plans in my head about our future with a new arrival, I have got to go through all those thoughts and wear them away until they are faint and way in the background. Nobody knows how long that 'should' take.

SeptemberBaby_2

Oh, Sarah, BIG hugs for you and your OH. I have just read your post and then saw a post of my own from June...

Take as long as you need to grieve for your loss and try and ignore those stupid comments. How can people be so insensitive?!?

Take good care of yourself.

xxxx

shelly

Sarahsaver wrote: »

Thankyou for posting. Better to admit that you do not know what to say than some of these howlers I have heard...
'What is upsetting you right now' (from the doc)
'Well sometimes these things are for the best'
'Well that is why most people don't tell anyone before 12 weeks'
'Oh are you sure you should have been trying for a baby after all you have had a stroke'

I think people need to be educated about miscarriage. It is a kind of bereavement and most people would not DARE say such things to someone who has experienced the loss of a loved one.

People keep phoning me but I am fielding the calls.(i.e ignoring most LOL;)) What do they want me to say 'i am over it now'? I had made so many plans in my head about our future with a new arrival, I have got to go through all those thoughts and wear them away until they are faint and way in the background. Nobody knows how long that 'should' take.

Having been through 2 losses I know that there isn't much anyone can say to make it better. Today is a day for me where it seems like I'm never going to be a Mum. My monthly is just finishing, taunting me what a failure I am. I know I'm lucky to be alive but sometimes I really don't feel it.

We didn't find out I had lost the first baby at roughly 6 weeks until the day I was supposed to be 12 weeks. We had made lots of plans but suddenly they were smashed to pieces.
The second baby I lost at 6 weeks again but I knew the signs by then so it wasn't so much of a shock. Still heartbreaking but not as bad as the first time. I hate to say it but the second loss was a blessing in disguise as it saved my life. I was found to have cervical cancer and had the pregancy gone to term I would have died as the cancer was a very agressive one.

Bagpuss1973

Hi Emma

I am so sorry for your loss

Here are massive hugs for you and your OH (I know you are really hurting but so is he and I always think the chap sometimes gets forgotten)
:grouphug:

Bagpussxx

emma_b_4

hi this thread is very old now, seems wierd to be reading it as i niw have my baby daughter
just wanted to say im sorry for your loss and hope you are okay. the treatment you received sounds shocking and would definatley write to someone about it.
its hard for people to know what to say isnt it, but i just wanted to add im sorry

shelly

emma_b wrote: »

hi this thread is very old now, seems wierd to be reading it as i niw have my baby daughter

Congratulations!!!!! I'm soooo pleased for you.