blighted ovum (miscarriage)

tranquil_2

I'm in tears reading through this thread. I've had 2 miscarriages in the last few months.

The first one was a 'missed miscarriage'. I was 11 weeks pregnant when I had a very small amount of dark brown bleed, didn't think much of it until later that eveing when I mentioned it to my sister during a phone converation. She googled it and suggested I went to the doctor. He sent me for a scan that showed that the baby had died at 7-8 weeks. We saw her on the screen, a small ball all curled up and still. However, as has been mentioned before, my body still thought I was pregnant. I was growing a bump, all normal signs. I went in for a D&C.

10 weeks later I had what I thought was my first period, very heavy but thought that was to be expected. Started passing clots, spoke to my Mum who made me ring out of hours doctor, he sent me to A&E. After being seen, the A&E dr asked me how many weeks pregnant I was. When I told him I didn't think I was, he said the test had come back positive but I had probably miscarriaged. I then got sent for a scan which showed nothing, but was told that under 6 weeks they can't always see anything, and had bloods taken. Bloods came back with high HCG levels. Had to go in for more bloods to be taken, advised there was a possibliltiy I could still be pregnant. Finally those results showed I had miscarriaged. The whole process took over a week, starting sunday night and reults came back the following Monday, during which time I had started hoping I was still pregnant.

Even though my first miscarriage I had known all the way along I was pregnant and it was a wanted baby. I was ok afterwards. My 2nd, when I didn't know i was pregnant until it was too late, has left me absolutely devasted. I find myself bursting into tears for no reason and at odd times. I was reassured by staff at hospital that I had just fallen pregnant too soon and my body wasn't ready. Apparently you need at least 3 periods between pregnacies. It's difficult because after a couple of weeks no-one wants to talk about it and expect you to be getting on with it. The last miscarriage was 3 weeks ago. I'm nowhere close to getting on with it.

I do already have 2 DDs (4 and 2) and that has helped hugely but they don't replace the babies I've lost.

I'm sorry I've rambled on. Haven't felt like posting for ages but when I found this thread, I just feel better talking about it.

shelly

Wow. Doesn't seem like a year ago I posted on this thread.

I'm so sorry for the last few posters that have suffered losses in the last few months. Having lost 2 pregnancies myself I can say honestly that time will heal. It won't heal 100% but you will feel better when your body and mind are ready to.
I found being round people at work was easiest for me. I went back to work after 2 or 3 weeks of both losses and was grateful for peoples concern but at the same time I didn't want to hear it.....if that makes sense!?!? I found it easier from the point of view that if I had left it any longer I would have been dreading it all being dragged up again and wouldn't have wanted to go back to work at all.

Every one of us is different in the ways we cope and how long it takes us to be able to go on with "normal" life again after the loss of a pregnancy. Don't be hurried, some people might think that after a few weeks you should be over it, well my first loss was in 2004 and my last one was 2006 and some days I feel as if they only happened yesterday. I think about "what might have been" every single day.

Even though I really really want a baby, and we are trying again, I sometimes think that I don't mind if its just me and hubby for the rest of our days. I am lucky to be alive and for that I am grateful.

Best wishes and hugs to each and everyone of you who posted on this thread and those of you who haven't posted but have suffered a loss also.

Claudie

nadnad my heart goes out to you and I am so sorry you lost your baby, it is a sad time but you will day by day start finding yourself again.

Personally I would go back to work but have a quiet word with someone you are comfortable with (HR, a Manager you trust etc) and ask if you can perhaps come back to work but phased back, maybe mornings only until you feel ready. You may find the routine gets you back into a groove. When I returned to work after my loss it was hard to just put one foot in front of the other but in looking back it was the best thing for me as work has always been my normality if that makes sense?

There is a lot of support available online. I found online forums and talking with strangers somehow easier - my family and friends were helpful but as someone else mentioned, I think after a few weeks they wanted me to be better.

http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/ma2006/index.htm
http://www.womens-health.co.uk/miscarr.htm

It has been almost 8 years since my mc (I can't believe it has been that long) and I still hold a special place in my heart for that pregnancy and I still have a little cry to myself every now and then but I got through it and you will too. Just be kind to yourself and your partner and take it easy.

Take care

emma_b_4

i cant believe i started this thread a year ago.. in some ways it feels like only yesterday. i have pmed nadnad but just wanted to say to anyone else who has has similar experiences time is a great healer, i still think of my lost one every day but somehow it gets easier.
((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))

nats3006

emma_b wrote: »

i cant believe i started this thread a year ago.. in some ways it feels like only yesterday. i have pmed nadnad but just wanted to say to anyone else who has has similar experiences time is a great healer, i still think of my lost one every day but somehow it gets easier.
((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))

wow didnt even realise it was that long ago :eek:
but glad you are feeling better each day

emma_b_4

https://www.babyloss.com is a great forum for people who have had a miscarriage

crutches

((((((((hugs)))))))))to all.
i've had 5 miscarriages including blighted ovum discovered at scan.
however i also have 6 healthy children
please dont give up hope
sometimes our luck changes.
xxxx

Sarahsaver

I would like to tell you I had a miscarriage this week.
The baby died at 9 weeks, this week I would have been 10 weeks pg. I got worried cos one day my belly which was definitely growing, looked flat
I lost some blood last week, only a little bit, had a scan and there was no heartbeat. It is still heartbreaking, but at the same time I have dealt with worse things in my life. I miscarried yesterday in hospital, on the day I was due to have the first 'proper' scan.
I had an awful experience in hospital in some ways, the staff who were useless were off the scale really, but the good ones were fantastic.
The sonographer let me have a print of the scan picture, but the nurse/doctor would not tell me for certain that the 'retained products of conception' I passed actually contained the baby. I am sure it was but i was a bit delirious at 4am not quite knowing what was happening. No one in the hospital reassured me after it happened.
I went 23 hours without seeing a doctor - went in for a 'medical evacuation' but nature had already started working.
The behatch I saw eventually asked me why I was upset.

I hope at least by posting on here I can help someone who is going through similar, and it may be moneysaving in terms of not spending out on counselling etc! I had to be really quite assertive at times with the medical people and that is really hard when you are feeling so vulnerable.

And whatever they say most of the professionals ignored DH even when he was sitting in the room with me. Things must change. I am going to write all this in more detail to my MP when I feel up to it.

I know time will make things easier, I am going to plant some bulbs that should come up in the spring so at least I have 'done' something.

I am not religious but I wish I was at this time!

Penny_Watcher

I didn't want to just 'read and run' but very short of time.

I had a VERY similar experience in 1996 and it doesn't sound as if things have improved at all. I still think about the baby I lost. It'll never be alright, but things do get better with time.

DD2 was born within 12 months of my miscarriage. I console myself with the fact that if I hadn't lost that baby, then DD2 (my last baby) would never have been born.

Sending you and your OH warmest wishes at this very difficult time.

Lots of love,

PW x

Bun

Hi Sarahsaver,

So sorry to hear of your loss, so sending you hugs ((( )))). It's a great idea to contact your MP. I was treated very well when I had mine, but later ones do mean you see more people if you are admitted to hospital, and some really don't have a clue.
Many of us on the pregnancy board (including myself) have been through it and it definitely helps to talk to other people who have been through it - they are a lot more common than you think.

Hoping you feel a little better soon.

Bun