blighted ovum (miscarriage)

shelly

jellyhead wrote:

i know somebody who recently miscarried and she had to go back for a second scan. there's always the hope that your dates are wrong and there's a heartbeat next time, but i wonder if this ever happens.

I don't know anyone personally this has happened to but I have read about a lady, here on MSE, that this happened to and on several miscarriage forums too. Their dates were wrong and the second scans showed a healthy baby. Only after reading their experiences after my first loss did I decide if it happened again I would have more than one scan so that I knew in my mind the baby had definately gone because theres always a chance its wrong and the baby is fine. The nurses and doctors were very good with my second loss and said it was all up to me really. If I wanted a few scans to make sure than that was fine. I think I had 3 in the end at weekly intervals.

jo_b_2

jellyhead wrote:

i know somebody who recently miscarried and she had to go back for a second scan. there's always the hope that your dates are wrong and there's a heartbeat next time, but i wonder if this ever happens. she thought the second scan was more for reasons of checking the contents of the womb, they wait a week or two after the first scan and then the second scan will show if there are any 'retained products of conception' that need to be removed.

Thanks for the kind wishes.

I'm not in any doubt as to what has happened and I am 100% sure of my dates and also had positive pregnancy result over 4 weeks ago. I suspect the hospital were trying to be diplomatic about the need for a second scan, although maybe there are a small number of cases where dates have been miscalculated.

Without being too gruesome, lots of 'products' have been passed already so I'm hoping that I won't need any medical intervention. Any ideas about how long bleeding is likely to last for?

Jay-Jay_4

It shouldn't last too long Jo, of course it varies for everyone but generally it's like a particularly long and heavy period.

Look after yourself and take it easy. x

jellyhead

hi jo. it's probably different for everyone, but i had some small clots, smaller than a 50p and then around 12 hours later there were two large clots about as big as my hand. one included the baby as far as i can tell. it wasn't as big as i expected, i'd read a mag the previous day telling me how many cm the baby was at 10 weeks and that it had toes, i was expecting to see toes. but my pregnancy hadn't got much beyond 6 weeks so it wasn't a 10 week pregnancy, just a 6 week one that had stayed inside for 4 weeks.

after that it was just bleeding, but i kept clotting. the clots were nothing to do with pregnancy tissue (because the scan had showed i had an empty womb), i have clots during periods anyway. but each time i passed a large clot it freaked me out because it felt like the miscarriage and reminded me of the shock i'd felt when that happened. i think that lasted for less than 2 weeks, i had a period 5 weeks after the miscarriage.

if the bleeding is very heavy you could ask to see somebody, there might be treatments. i was able to take my usual drug for heavy periods but it's something i already had, plus i had an empty womb.

sorry all these words about empty womb, clots, products, etc. are so horrible and clinical.

this is awful i know but my gran (86) was horrible about my pregnancy, she thought my husband was evil for getting me pregnant when i had such a small baby at home. that's the way they thought back in her youth. anyway, when i lost the baby she said to my mum that it was a 'blessing in disguise' and i'm still so angry that i can't bring myself to call her. i usually see her quite often. i need to phone her really but if she says anything like that i'll get upset with her. people of her generation think differently about pregnancy i know, but i'm not ready to hear my baby being dismissed in such a way just yet.

Frugal_Fox

Just wanted to say how truely sorry I am to hear of all the MC on this thread. Whilst I have never been pregnant (infertile), I can only imagine all the pain that you and OH have suffered - and why oh why can family be so very cruel with their comments.

My friend lost her baby at 9 weeks. It was their first IVF attempt. She was devastated. Other IVF attempts have not been sucessful.

Hugs to you all.

emma_b_4

frugal fox im sorry to hear that you are unable to have children.. that must present its own type of grief ..

my OH an i have been devastated by this but i dont think it sunk in at first just how much we were gutted. we are seriously considering trying to conceive again, altho no one know except you msers!

just to change the subject a bit, i have applied for my oh and i to win the gmtv wedding LOL so watch out for us! its a long shot but you never know!

shelly

emma_b wrote:

my OH an i have been devastated by this but i dont think it sunk in at first just how much we were gutted. we are seriously considering trying to conceive again, altho no one know except you msers!

Its a good idea not to tell anyone when trying again. I know people mean well but after the first loss all we got from people was "Are you pregnant yet?" I put myself under lots of pressure to get pregnant again and felt like a failure when it didn't happen. People don't realise the pressure you feel with their constant questioning. Also when it does happen for you I'd advise keeping it to yourself and partner. Hubby and I kept quiet the second time and I only told my parents after the loss.


Only try when you both feel ready and one day you will feel a babe in your arms.....just like I will



Oh and good luck with the wedding!!

emma_b_4

thanks shelly!
yes we will be keeping schtum, i mean we didnt tell anumyone yill 12weeks ish beofre neway, aoart from parents, but we will be extra careful this time i think..and i think my attitude has changed a little bit now too..

how ru? i will read your post after this for an update xx

shelly

I'm doing ok thx.

After all this is over and we can try again, I think I would be of the mind not to tell anyone till we are well over 12 weeks and have seen a scan that shows everything is ok. I know things can still go wrong but I would be happier once Iv'e seen a heartbeat I think. But thats quite awhile away in the future so I'm not going to think about it till I need to

nadnad

i know this is an old old thread but i came across it and i just wanted someone to talk to. i had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago (a missed miscarriage i was 13 weeks when it happened but baby had died before that) and up until this week i thought i was coping quite well. This week i'm just so sad inside myself if you know what I mean, normally I can get over sadness and talk myself out of it which I think I have been doing but this week its with me all the time. i think about it constantly. every child i see i think how lucky the parents are and what a miracle it is, i'm jealous of every pregnant woman - although im trying not to be. i'm still off work i saw my gp 3 weeks ago and she said i wasnt ready for work and signed me off for 3 weeks. the 3 weeks is up this friday and i dont know what to do for the best i feel so down and im still finding it really difficult to talk to people, i can only do that on my own terms ie me phone them or me visit them, i have to build up the courage.
i dont know whether i should go back to work on monday and just move on or whether that will be too much for me. the doctor said she'd give me as long as i need. but i dont know whether staying off will make me worse or give me time to get stronger.
im just so sad.