Fed up vegetarian needs advice please

LameWolf

AbFab wrote: »

I would feel utterly violated if fed meat (or dairy - I am vegan)

I don't cook meat (or dairy) for any guests, ever. None of my friends would ever expect me to. It goes against everything I believe in regarding health, ethics and environment. The thought of touching rotting animal flesh repulses me. They are all happy to eat vegan when they come to mine for dinner. When I visit friends, they value me enough to cook something taking into consideration my values. No meat-eater I know has 'principles' against cooking vegetables. I, on the other hand, have principles against buying or cooking meat and dairy. That's the difference.

Tbh if I was to visit you for dinner, I'd probably be asking for the recipe so that I could try making it myself!

Disgruntled_Veggie wrote: »

I guess I have been compromising my principles for a long time now. I became a vegetarian when I was ten years old, purely for animal cruelty reasons (and the day after we had to dissect a mouse in a science lesson). As I was growing up I was expected to help my mum around the house and as the rest of the family were staunch omnivores, I continued to help her prepare and cook meat dishes. I have always and still do wear gloves when preparing meat and do have my limits, daft though they might sound, for example I couldn't prepare a chicken carcass, gut a fish or have anything to do with offal.

When I got married I continued to cook meat for my husband and to be honest I used to enjoy the pleasure he and dinner guests got from my meals as I have always enjoyed feeding people and looking after them. I was going to bring the children up as vegetarians but at the moment they are still babies and toddlers and as they were all low birth weight premmies, it has been difficult to get them to put on weight easily. They seem to really enjoy meat casseroles and dishes much more than most veggie meals, so I have continued to cook meat for them as well as veggie dishes. Hopefully when they are a bit older they will decide for themselves to become vegetarian.

I still feel awful about eating the meat, I don't understand how true vegetarians can eat meat occasionally.

Don't feel bad - I know that's difficult. (((HUG)))
There was a chap Mr LW used to work with, who quite innocently took a cold remedy that was given to him - then had to do a Penance afterwards because it contained a trace of alcohol (he didn't know when he took it) and his religion explicitly bans it (and he's very devout).

For the record, I don't touch meat or fish because even the smell makes me heave. If someone like your SIL pulled a stunt like that on me, they'd have one hell of a mess to clear up!:rolleyes:

MrsTinks

AbFab - just as a point - vegetarianism isn't set in stone... some are more strict about it than others. I know vegetarians who eat fish - and some who just refuse to eat meat in chunks because they dislike the texture, but will eat things like chicken soup without the pieces of chicken. Everyone has their own reason for being vegetarian - some are just a dislike of meat, others are ethical and some both. Just because someone hasn't decided to go vegan or aren't as strict as you doesn't mean they are not vegetarian and I think having a pop at them is a bit out of order. It would be like someone saying "don't call yourself a christian if you don't go to chuch every sunday and say your prayers in the morning and evening and before eating"...
People eating meat out of sheer politeness certainly shouldn't be scolded just because it doesn't meet your criteria for a specific noun.
I'm more than happy to cook for my vegetarian friends and I like to think I do so pretty well judging at how quickly dinner invitations are accepted to our house... And I'd never dream of putting meat in it, but likewise I always ask if they eat fish, how strict they are (ie if I am making soup would organic, free range HM chicken stock be acceptable or not - if not then fair enough I'll make a veg stock but some are willing to eat chicken stock, just not the meat because they are vegetarian as they find the texture disgusting. The point is to not feed any guest or person something you know they would not eat knowingly (and in this I reserve the right to exclude my beetroot chocolate cake which everyone loves and always gets shocked looks when I tell them it has beetroot in it ) - same as I don't eat veal because I disagree with the method it's produced and I don't expect someone to serve it to me knowing that.
It's simple respect - nothing more and nothing less.

Emmzi

I'm afraid dictionary.com, and the vegetarian society, do not agree about the fish.

someone who eats fish is not a vegetarian.

they are a pescetarian , or a pescevegetarian, who can't be arsed using the proper terminology.

Their insistence on calling themselves vegetarians causes no end of bother to those of us who turn up at dinner parties to be presented with fish and told "but you didn't say you were vegan".

I don't care about the morality of it. I'll happily watch someone wolf down half a raw gazelle. I just dislike people using words which confuse my host.

Rockporkchop

Emmzi wrote: »

someone who eats fish is not a vegetarian. they are a pescetarian , or a pescevegetarian, who can't be arsed using the proper terminology.
Their insistence on calling themselves vegetarians causes no end of bother to those of us who turn up at dinner parties to be presented with fish and told "but you didn't say you were vegan".

Absolutely agree - I am bemused by the amount of people who call themselves vegetarians but eat fish and sometimes chicken. I am always being offered tuna as the vegetarian option and it makes me and the host feel bad when I politely refuse it.

It's like someone saying they are teetotal but only drink brandy.

I am intrigued by the thought of chocolate beetroot cake though!

BlondeHeadOn

Emmzi wrote: »

I'm afraid dictionary.com, and the vegetarian society, do not agree about the fish.

someone who eats fish is not a vegetarian.

they are a pescetarian , or a pescevegetarian, who can't be arsed using the proper terminology.

Their insistence on calling themselves vegetarians causes no end of bother to those of us who turn up at dinner parties to be presented with fish and told "but you didn't say you were vegan".

I don't care about the morality of it. I'll happily watch someone wolf down half a raw gazelle. I just dislike people using words which confuse my host.

I would always ask for details if someone is coming to my house for dinner and say they are vegetarian - I know this term can cover a whole range of options. And if I can't ascertain what is okay and not okay beforehand, I would always cook a meal suitable for vegans, but with some side dishes with milk, eggs, cream etc. - so everyone has a choice but just in case!

I would only cook the one meal, as it certainly will not harm anyone eating a veggie meal for one dinner - in fact it will probably do a lot of poeple good! Also I don't want to faff about making 2 types of meal.

I have friends who vary widely on the 'vegetarian' scale, from strict vegans to someone who says she's 'a vegetarian who eats meat' (go figure....) :rotfl:

I certainly would not want to feed anyone something which is against their priciples, never in a million years. Why on earth would someone think this is amusing? This attitude is totally beyond me....

Pee

I haven't read the other replies and I am not a vegetarian.

I wouldn't be delighted to have a pizza, with or without meat topping, cut up on the board I had just cut chicken up on.

I doubt that he did it on purpose, he just has no idea of food hygenie or normal sensibilities - if my Dad was to touch anything in the kitchen, I could quite see it going the same way - so it's probably something you could explain and train him to understand.

(As a small child, Mum shouted at me and Dad for wiping a kitchen surface with a floor cloth - both of us gaped at her in surprise - magically a few years later, I understood her issue.)

Would one option be to have no meat in the kitchen until everyone learns?

AbFab

Tom1234 wrote: »

If you're going to post 'facts', it's probably better to watch the programme in question rather than rely on the 'reporting skills' of a paper like the Telegraph.

A programme edited by the GR publicity machine? They'll edit it how they see fit, just, I suppose, like the Telegraph (and other papers) does/do. The owner of the restaurant in question said GR definitely knew because he oversaw them making it and discussed the ingredients with them.
GR is well-known for his anti-vegetarian stance, and I just wouldn't put it past him. If it had been inadvertent, as a professional chef, he should have been mortified. Instead, he rolls around laughing like an !!!. And this isn’t the only instance of it happening.

Disgruntled_Veggie wrote: »

I guess I have been compromising my principles for a long time now.

When I got married I continued to cook meat for my husband and to be honest I used to enjoy the pleasure he and dinner guests got from my meals as I have always enjoyed feeding people and looking after them. I was going to bring the children up as vegetarians but at the moment they are still babies and toddlers and as they were all low birth weight premmies, it has been difficult to get them to put on weight easily. They seem to really enjoy meat casseroles and dishes much more than most veggie meals, so I have continued to cook meat for them as well as veggie dishes. Hopefully when they are a bit older they will decide for themselves to become vegetarian.

Anyway, as DH went to bed so early last night I had time to do a spot of baking. I made a dozen chocolate chip cookies but - silly old me - I managed to accidentally make them on the same chopping board as I had accidentally been chopping up laxatives on just beforehand. I really don't know how I could have been so absent minded.

xx

Perhaps after this incident, and the revelations about your sister-in-law, now is the time to be more vocal, and stop compromising.

I love cooking, and love feeding people. However, I do this all vegan, and have never ever had any complaints, and people come back time and again, so I know they aren't just being polite. I consider looking after my family and friends to be taking an interest in their health - I truly believe meat is not good for us, and as such, I wouldn't feel I was looking after someone if I fed them meat. From an ethical viewpoint, I will not bring myself to contribute to the meat industry, and thus the suffering and death of an animal by purchasing or preparing meat for anyone either. Of course, they do what they like outside of my home, but they aren't going to get bad or unethical food chez AbFab. Get more creative with your vegetarian dishes, and all your guests should leave satisfied. There is no need to compromise your ethics.
As for your little ones, I do understand your concerns, but there are heaps of books and information available online for vegetarian parents wanting to raise vegetarian children, and it is healthier for them not to eat meat - you just need to ensure you are getting a good balance for them.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=vegetarian+child&!!!!!googhydr-21&index=stripbooks&hvadid=4707151389&ref=pd_sl_7rxbymls7a_e
Your main problem would be having an unsupportive father (your OH, not your own dad!), and if he doesn't believe in raising his children vegetarian, you'll have to work something out.

LOL at the laxative cookies. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

LameWolf, I am happy to share any and all recipes!

MrsTine wrote: »

AbFab - just as a point - vegetarianism isn't set in stone... some are more strict about it than others. I know vegetarians who eat fish - and some who just refuse to eat meat in chunks because they dislike the texture, but will eat things like chicken soup without the pieces of chicken.

MrsTine wrote: »

It's simple respect - nothing more and nothing less.

Then you need to respect the fact that these people are not vegetarians!
Fish, afaik, has not been reclassified as a vegetable. Your friends who want to call themselves vegetarian are doing the rest of us a huge disservice. They are people who don't like eating meat in its main form. Or they are pescetarian (or PEST-atarian, as I like to say ). Please do not perpetuate the nonsense that vegetarians eat fish/chicken, because they don’t.

Rockporkchop wrote: »

It's like someone saying they are teetotal but only drink brandy.

Perfectly put. Thank you!

LameWolf

Emmzi wrote: »

I'm afraid dictionary.com, and the vegetarian society, do not agree about the fish.

someone who eats fish is not a vegetarian.

they are a pescetarian , or a pescevegetarian, who can't be arsed using the proper terminology.

When I used the word piscatorian to a friend of mine who eats fish but not meat, she thought I was referring to her star sign! It's a sad fact that if you went into a restaurant an asked if they could cater for a piscatorian, a lot of the time you'd be met with a blank stare.

JBD

I eat fish but not meat so I just say I don't eat meat rather than putting a label on it as this seems to confuse people even more. I have come across people who think chicken doesn't count as meat so it is best to be specific if someone else is doing the cooking. However in a restaurant I expect to be able to trust that the food is described on the menu.
Back to the original topic, I would just like to add that salmonella, as caught from raw chickens can actually be fatal ,certainly for the very old and the very young. So your husband potentially put yourself, himself and your children at risk, also other people you come into contact with. Really he is lucky just to have had an upset tummy.Also OP I don't know if you were joking about the laxatives but I would advise against it as it might affect your husbands health even further.

LittleMissAspie

MrsTine wrote: »

AbFab - just as a point - vegetarianism isn't set in stone... some are more strict about it than others. I know vegetarians who eat fish - and some who just refuse to eat meat in chunks because they dislike the texture, but will eat things like chicken soup without the pieces of chicken. Everyone has their own reason for being vegetarian - some are just a dislike of meat, others are ethical and some both. Just because someone hasn't decided to go vegan or aren't as strict as you doesn't mean they are not vegetarian and I think having a pop at them is a bit out of order. It would be like someone saying "don't call yourself a christian if you don't go to chuch every sunday and say your prayers in the morning and evening and before eating"...

Well in that case my cat is vegetarian as she refuses to eat fresh lamb but will eat things like chicken crunchies.

Your Christianity analogy isn't quite right, you don't have to go to church to believe in God and all the Christian principles. It's more like saying you're a Christian but you don't believe that Jesus existed. Or the teetotal analogy is an even better one.

It's great that you check first with everyone who visits you, but some people wouldn't and would assume that because your "vegetarian" friend eats chicken soup, that all vegetarians do. There are different types of vegetarian, but the one thing they all have in common is no meat and no fish.
http://www.vegsoc.org/info/definitions.html