Fed up vegetarian needs advice please

daska

Emmzi wrote: »

daska, technically if he eats eggs but not milk based products, ovo-vegetarian. if it's just cows milk avoided it gets more comlex, so 'vegetarian who doesnt take milk products' woud be the best you can do!

vegan, for caterers, is unequivocable.

then we get into fruitarian, and it all gets complicated...

Sorry, 'twas a rhetorical question as I know the technical terms. I guess I was trying to make the point that being vegetarian, or whatever, is largely a personal/medical choice so why should other people know exactly what is meant by them? To me it seems to be good manners to make it easy to understand - hence the 'don't eat anything with a face' description, most people can 'get' that. Dad's happy to eat vegan food and it negates any necessity for 'yes he can eat some butter or cream but no milk..." Simple all round, everyone knows where they stand

ceridwen

Yes - I would certainly be upset at OH for being so obtuse.

I would have thought - purely from the hygiene point of view as well - that chopping ANYTHING subsequently on a chopping board that has just been used for raw meat would be a bad idea anyway.

As for his sister - words would fail me - I would be furious at being conned like that by her and how selfish and inconsiderate she had been to me and wouldnt be eating any food at her place ever again (except raw fruit and vegetables) - but certainly nothing prepared. Leastways unless she made sincere apologies to me/explained she'd realised how wrong she had been and would definitely never do that to me again - and perhaps a little "sweetener" of a present (not of the food variety - I was thinking more along the lines of a "good" bunch of flowers). If I could see that the apology had been sincere - then I might reconsider whether to ever accept food from her again. If there was no apology or I could see (looking at her as she said it) that she wasnt genuinely contrite - then - no I wouldnt ever do so again. I would still stay friendly with her - but with reservations and never quite trust her again if I hadnt had that genuine apology.

ceridwen

celyn90 wrote: »

I agree with the others - I wouldn't have eaten it either from a point of view of poor food hygiene.

Your husband is very lucky you cook meat for him; I know many veggies who wouldn't. Both him and his sister are showing a lack a lack of respect when you quite clearly are very tolerant of their views. An accident is one thing, but shocking hygiene, lazyness and lying about the content of food is quite soemthing else.

Yep - me for one. Its all I can do to "live with" meat being cooked in my kitchen by someone else for someone else. I would certainly not prepare meat for anyone else - my answer would be "I wish you would stop eating meat. You know how important my views on this are to me and its awful for me having meat cooked in my kitchen. However - if you still intend to eat it - then you must buy it and prepare it yourself - as I'm not going to."

So - yep - it was even worse for them to "pull this stunt" on you than it would have been if they had done that to me - because you have been "bending over backwards" and helping them to stick to what they want - even though its against your principles and then they treat you like that....

claire1234

i coudnt eat a pizza thats had raw chicken juice on it anyway . . . not very hygienic, seperate board and knife for seperate things

ceridwen

January20 wrote: »

Personally, I would go on strike and tell your OH that from now on he can cook his own meat dishes since your choices and wishes mean so little to him. Actually, it is possibly because you don't mind cooking meat dishes that him and his family don't think it's a big issue for you.

I was reading on through this thread planning on making that comment too at the end - but you've made it for us. I do think that maybe you "shot yourself a little in the foot" by making meat dishes in the first place for OH. I think he would have taken your views a lot more seriously in the first place if you hadnt done that - but, having said that, better late than never. From here on in NEVER EVER buy or cook meat for him ever again. i would tell him how upset/angry I was that I had been more than accommodating to him - but he and his sister had done that to me and he hadnt been furious with his sister on your behalf (you're his wife - you come first in line for respect/consideration/loyalty over and above everyone except your children now).

As I've said earlier - i would be prepared to accept a GENUINE apology from Sis if she made one BUT - even so - she has to be told in the first place how upset/angry you are and exactly why and the message reinforced by cancelling this week's babysitting arrangement. She needs to get the message that "I only help and respect you - IF you help and respect me". "No catering for me properly means no favours for you". She does need to experience a month or two "in the doghouse" to appreciate just how badly she has treated you.

thistledome

If the OP's Sister in law had accidentally contaminated the food and been mortified then I'd be inclined to forgive and forget, but it sounds suspiciously like they were having a good snigger about it, which is really horrible. I wouldn't want to eat round there again, tbh. If she served me up something I'd wonder if it had animal products in it again.

I'm envious of all the vegetarians who refuse to cook meat. I started out not cooking meat for hubby (when he was just boyfriend), then gave in to cooking chicken breasts and using tinned tuna when I became the full-time skivvy. Now I'm cooking red meat as well (not often thank goodness). I wish I had the courage to refuse, but I don't

OP, not criticising you, but when I have to handle raw chicken everything that's come into contact with it goes immediately into a bowl of hot soapy water (on it's own). If your hubby is a bit kitchenly-challenged it's not worth taking the risk, especially not with little ones about.

ceridwen

thistledome wrote: »

If the OP's Sister in law had accidentally contaminated the food and been mortified then I'd be inclined to forgive and forget, but it sounds suspiciously like they were having a good snigger about it, which is really horrible. I wouldn't want to eat round there again, tbh. If she served me up something I'd wonder if it had animal products in it again.

I'm envious of all the vegetarians who refuse to cook meat. I started out not cooking meat for hubby (when he was just boyfriend), then gave in to cooking chicken breasts and using tinned tuna when I became the full-time skivvy. Now I'm cooking red meat as well (not often thank goodness). I wish I had the courage to refuse, but I don't

In response to your comment about "wish I had the courage to refuse" - perhaps you might find that courage by asking yourself "how much does OH really care about me if he's prepared to make me cook meat to suit him? If he really cares about me - then he won't want me to do something that goes so against my conscience".

I'm sorry - I hope that doesnt sound harsh - but I do believe that if one cares strongly for other people then you dont make them go against their conscience to suit you. IMHO there is only one instance I could think of where I would expect someone/anyone to go against their conscience - and that would involve them doing something that would hurt me personally if they didnt do so (but isnt applicable to me anyway - so 'tis academic).

vegasvisitor

I guess if you start off cooking meat for your OH, then it's probably hard to suddenly stop. I've been Vegetarian longer than I ate meat now (19 years veggie, from age 16). I know I'll never eat meat again, although I'm sure there's times I've ate things containing non-veggie products especially when eating out etc without knowing what I was eating.

When my OH moved in, he pretty much became a vegetarian at that point. Before that he occasionally had a fish supper or lasagne, after that he had fish once or twice when out with other people, but he just doesn't even want anything like that any more. I definitely couldn't cook meat. I even wonder what I'd do if I got a cat or dog, because I wouldn't want to be having meat in the house either!

ceridwen

Disgruntled_Veggie wrote: »

Anyway, as DH went to bed so early last night I had time to do a spot of baking. I made a dozen chocolate chip cookies but - silly old me - I managed to accidentally make them on the same chopping board as I had accidentally been chopping up laxatives on just beforehand. I really don't know how I could have been so absent minded. :rolleyes:

xx

I am SO glad I wasnt eating when I read that - my food would have just been "sputtered" across the keyboard:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Zazen999

thistledome wrote: »

I'm envious of all the vegetarians who refuse to cook meat. I started out not cooking meat for hubby (when he was just boyfriend), then gave in to cooking chicken breasts and using tinned tuna when I became the full-time skivvy. Now I'm cooking red meat as well (not often thank goodness). I wish I had the courage to refuse, but I don't

I don't refuse to cook it, I just don't cook it.

The OH's DD [12] gets Fish Fingers, and that's about it. Everything else is veggie.

I cook from scratch and although my OH is a meat eater he tells me he doesn't miss it, and now goes in the main for the veggie option 90% of the time.

If he wanted meat, then he's welcome to it but it's just not worth cooking 2 meals and I've taught him to cook a few meals to maximise taste so he doesn't feel the need to do that.

I do ask him often if he misses it and after 5 years together, 4 1/2 living together - he doesn't. If he went running for chicken as soon as he was out the door, I'd start to wonder but he doesn't.