Fed up vegetarian needs advice please

bails

Hi Disgruntled Veggie. While I completely agree that your SiL (and the family who sniggered) has disrespected you and your values completely, I have a slightly different take on how to deal with her. If you refuse to go there again/never eat there, this will presumably have a big impact on your family? Whilst I think it's imperative to explain how her actions have made you feel and assert your right to be a vegetarian, I hope there's a way to resolve this for you and your wider family. At least give her the chance to apologise and change, especially as it doesn't seem as if you had a bad relationship prior to this. Perhaps with a calm and rational explanation of your viewpoint (and that's not to say you can't express how she made you feel), she can overcome her ignorance and you can both move forward.

Good luck with it, from a veggie who also loves beetroot cake, nom nom!

carbonmonoxide

Me and my OH (both veggie) went for a meal out with friends a few years ago. My OH ordered a veggie lasagne. When it came she took one bite and spat it out - she knew it was meat instantly. I hardly ever get angry but I went mad at the staff, who barely apologised but did get the correct meal and not charge us for her meal. We wrote a letter of complaint but it was never answered - the restaurant was out of business a month later.

Moral of the story- don't feed veggies meat, its bad karma!

Pee

carbonmonoxide wrote: »

Me and my OH (both veggie) went for a meal out with friends a few years ago. My OH ordered a veggie lasagne. When it came she took one bite and spat it out - she knew it was meat instantly. I hardly ever get angry but I went mad at the staff, who barely apologised but did get the correct meal and not charge us for her meal. We wrote a letter of complaint but it was never answered - the restaurant was out of business a month later.

Moral of the story- don't feed veggies meat, its bad karma!

And that is horrid and the restaurant should have been at worst very apologetic... however, I have to say, I think that's better than being served it by a family member...

carbonmonoxide

Pee wrote: »

And that is horrid and the restaurant should have been at worst very apologetic... however, I have to say, I think that's better than being served it by a family member...

Yes - if a family member did that I just wouldn't go back unless they apologised and convinced me it would never happen again. Luckily my family would never do that.

Lois_and_CK

I know I didn't contribute to this thread, but I was firmly on OP's side and followed it avidly. I'd love to know how it all turned out?

belfastgirl23

me too how did it go OP?

Morglin

Disgruntled_Veggie wrote: »

Hi, I am a regular poster but have created a new user ID as DH knows my usual one. I am really fed up and would appreciate an opinion from fellow veggies on whether I am overreacting or not.

I have been a fairly strict vegetarian for over 25 years, although I completely respect the fact that most people, including my DH, are carnivores. I cook meat dishes for my DH and children but I choose not to eat meat as it is not food to me.

Anyway to cut a long story short, as a treat after a tough few days, I bought a couple of those really nice PizzaExpress pizzas from Tesco, to have a night off from cooking dinner.

I got home from work and did some chores, including preparing a chicken casserole to put in the slow cooker for DH and the children for the next day. I went to empty the washing machine and when I got back my DH was cutting up my cooked pizza on the meat chopping board where I had just been chopping the raw chicken breasts for the casserole, and using the same knife. The chopping board had not been cleaned and was covered in chicken juice, although not drenched.

I got a bit upset and said that I couldn’t eat the pizza now as it was covered in raw chicken. DH just couldn’t understand why I was upset and started to wipe the base of the pizza with a tissue. When I said that would not be OK, he said he could cut the whole base off, and then proceeded to turn the pizza upside down on the same chopping board.

His point of view was that I was overreacting and the chicken would hardly kill me. To illustrate that point, he mentioned that when we had visited his sister for dinner recently, the pea soup she had made specially and sworn was vegetarian actually contained bacon stock. Also the main course contained bits of tuna where she had used the same pan for my vegetarian dish and couldn't be bothered to wash it. And they had all commented how I hadn’t even noticed! DH says he didn't know until afterwards and did have a word with his sister though.

I know it is stupid but I feel quite violated at the moment. Surely this is no different to someone spiking your drink against your will?

Anyway, many thanks for reading, I guess my main questions are – if you are a vegetarian, would you have eaten the pizza and would you be really upset by the revelations about DH’s sister’s meal?
xx

I totally respect your views, although veggie is not for me, but I don't really think you can expect other people to cater to it all - your SIL probably didn't think about stock in pea soup, and didn't want to be bothered telling you.

I wouldn't have thought any residue left on the knife would have affected the taste of the pizza really, although best to wash knives anyway.

To be honest, I find veggies/vegans a bit of a pain, and all I do is get them some Quorn or something if they are coming to dinner. They can eat what they like, but I really cannot be hassled with it all.:rolleyes:

Lin

not_tonight_josephine_2

Morglin wrote: »

I totally respect your views, although veggie is not for me, but I don't really think you can expect other people to cater to it all - your SIL probably didn't think about stock in pea soup, and didn't want to be bothered telling you.

I wouldn't have thought any residue left on the knife would have affected the taste of the pizza really, although best to wash knives anyway.

To be honest, I find veggies/vegans a bit of a pain, and all I do is get them some Quorn or something if they are coming to dinner. They can eat what they like, but I really cannot be hassled with it all.:rolleyes:

Lin

Then maybe don't invite them?

Everyone has the right to their own views on vegetarianism, but if you have an issue with catering for vegetarians then why invite them over for dinner?! Would you think it OK to do the same thing to someone who didn't eat particular foods for religious reasons (ie give them food including "hidden" stuff you know they would object to)? Vegetarianism is at least as valid a reason for making food choices as religious belief.

sazza42

It boggles me that so many veggies cook meat for their partners and families - I know I couldn't do it!

My boyfriend eats meat, but as soon as we started seeing each other he stopped eating meat in his house (of his own accord, I didn't ask him to) as well as at my place which I thought was a lovely gesture of respect.

Now we live together, he's positively militant about not having meat in the house although he still eats meat when we go out.

I always appreciate the effort that meat eaters go to cater for my weird (to them) veggie needs - some people clearly can't wrap their heads round the idea, but everyone I know always makes an effort for me, even when it's not needed.

cloudy-day

Morglin wrote: »

I totally respect your views, although veggie is not for me, but I don't really think you can expect other people to cater to it all - your SIL probably didn't think about stock in pea soup, and didn't want to be bothered telling you.

I wouldn't have thought any residue left on the knife would have affected the taste of the pizza really, although best to wash knives anyway.

To be honest, I find veggies/vegans a bit of a pain, and all I do is get them some Quorn or something if they are coming to dinner. They can eat what they like, but I really cannot be hassled with it all.:rolleyes:

Lin

Have to disagree 100% with you. Its not difficult to cater for a veggie - I'm used to folk offering a cheese sarnie or omelette for my tea at their house, while everyone else has something posh.

If you knew someone had a nut allergy and you were planning to cook something with peanuts in you would change your menu surely?

Being veggie isn't a fad or a whim - its a real life style choice and I'm surprised you wouldn't make a bit of an effort for friends or family who are veggie?

BTW, this is along thread but did you see that the SIL thought it was FUNNY and told the OP's partner what a great joke she'd pulled? Thats just nasty.

I pressed 'Thanks' not 'Quote' - thats just my (veggie) sausage fingers! Thanks for being you Morglin!