I just do not know what to do

newbeginning_2

Hi Tina,

I do agree with everyone else who says he's beginning to realise what he's done, I think he's probably realising more because you seem like you don't need him as much, if this makes sense?

Not much else to say - Just really glad you're starting to feel better.

tinatony1

thanks newbeginning, i think you are right, one thing that concerns me is that he may feel that he cant back out of the situation he finds himself in because he will lose face, men can be such idiots in situations like that.

tinatony1

hi All

just to keep you up to date F-I-L has had it confirmed that he is going in to hospital at 2pm today with the op planned for some time tomorrow. Am feeling very worried for him at the moment.

Joelleski

Hope everything goes well with FIL Tina ...

Mely

Hi Tina, how is your f-i-l?
Mel x

tinatony1

Hi there

F-I-L has had his op and he is doing ok, he was still in HDU yesterday but have spoken to M-I-L this morning and he is back on the ward today. he had keyhole surgery in the end as it was thought by the surgeon that putting under complete general aneasthetic was too risky.
with any luck he should be out of hospital just before christmas which is great news.

Mely

Tina, that is excellent news - im so pleased! xxxx

tinatony1

i just met up with H for a coffee and i feel like i am right back at square one, i still love him so much that i just dont know what to do. one minute he is telling me how he hates being at hers the next that it is all over between us and we're never going to get back together.
i know this is old ground but i really cant take it, i dont want a life without him i really dont, i cannot even begin to imagine my life without him, everytime i see him i just want him to say it was all a big mistake.
i have no life without him and i dont want one.

i know you are all probably sick of me being so weak but i really cant do this.

smartpicture

Of course you can't do it, don't blame yourself - it's impossible while you're still seeing him & having coffee and all the rest! It's like having an operation to remove a nasty growth, you don't keep pulling off the bandages and ripping the scar apart every day to inspect the wound and then complain it's not getting any better! Because that's what you're doing by still seeing him.

I'm not having a go at all, I know how impossibly difficult it is when the feelings of love are still there. But nothing will change or get better until you feel able to separate yourself from him physically. After that, the separating yourself mentally from him will gradually follow. There is only one way for you to feel better, and that is to stop talking to him, stop seeing him, stop accepting his calls / texts behind her back / offers of help well-intentioned or not / small moments of his life when he's willing to fit you in. I promise you, it's the only way to ever feel better - and I know, because I had to do it.

worriedsik

tinatony1 wrote: »

i just met up with H for a coffee and i feel like i am right back at square one, i still love him so much that i just dont know what to do. one minute he is telling me how he hates being at hers the next that it is all over between us and we're never going to get back together.
i know this is old ground but i really cant take it, i dont want a life without him i really dont, i cannot even begin to imagine my life without him, everytime i see him i just want him to say it was all a big mistake.
i have no life without him and i dont want one.

i know you are all probably sick of me being so weak but i really cant do this.

Tina you already have a life without him dont you ? what a complete !!! hole he is telling you how he hates being at hers ! sorry tina if he hates it that much then WHY IS HE THERE ? he is telling you what you want to hear tina you will never move on whilst still meeting him for a coffee ! you know what to do tina x