I just do not know what to do

salesaddict

Good luck to you Tina, you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Your posts sound totally different this time round. You are now ready to find the life for yourself that you deserve.
I am sorry for all that you have suffered. But it's now time to cut him out of your life forever. His loss, not yours. He's someone elses problem now.

xx

Firefly

sunshine_shell wrote: »

Get everything you don't want put it in bin bags, change the locks and leave it outside. Then send him a text to come and collect otherwise you will take it to the charity shop in two days. Personally i wouldn't want to keep any of it!!

Bin day is an effective day to lay his belongings on the lawn. When I was in similar situation I threw most from upstairs window onto the lawn on bin day. I will always remember the panic in his voice when I phoned him. He made that 20 mile journey really quickly! :rotfl::eek::rotfl:

JustKeepSwimming_2

Hugs Tina :grouphug:

So sorry to hear the news, but I hope that you can now move on & spend your time/energy looking after yourself. You deserve so much more than this.

I echo the soup comment - even the cup soup sachets are better than nothing! If it helps, try & think of food as fuel & concentrate on giving your body what it needs - not easy when you don't have much of an appetite but it will make you feel better in the long run.

Keep strong.

skintdragon

Tina,

I have yet to read all the posts but it sounds like your man had kept you in the scene as a back- up plan should things not work out with the other woman.

I understand how sad and angry you must be feeling but granted he has already hurt you once, who is to say he would not do it again? His dilemma is self- inflicted and you need to try and get out of it whilst you can, albeit a heart- breaking decision.

Please don't compromise you well- being and sanity. I hope you find the light at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong. x

Sunshine12

Tina,
Pls try and eat. I was in similar situation and stopped eating completely. I ended up anaemic and 6 and a half stone with no energy to do anything. My stomach shrunk so much it was painful to eat and I had to start drinking Complan which was also disgusting. Try and have lots of soup if you cant face anything else (preferably fresh with lots of veg in). Cant stress enough that the less you eat the worse this whole situation will seem and the more difficult it will be to get through so its really important that you try your best and make sure you are eating even if its little bits at a time. Things will get easier. I know you probably feel like its consuming you completely. Just take baby steps and you will get through it. One morning in the not too distant future you will wake up and realise it wasnt the first thing you thought about and thats when you know that you are getting through it. You will come out the other end much happier and much stronger. Thinking of you.

nm123_2

Hello Tina,

Sorry to ressurrect and old (and probably painful) thread, but I was wondering how you were getting on? I hope this year improved for you!

All the best x

missiemog

just read through this one and i too am stunned, yet not stunned, by his callousness (sp?).

however, the old adage of 'a woman is like a teabag, you don't know how strong she is till you put her in hot water' still rings true.

TT clearly loved the man totally the whole time and was willing to do whatever it took to salvage things, however when 'done over' again she was clearly not a happy bunny and quite rightly so.

i am interested to hear TT's perspective on how she views things now, nearly a year on from the original post.

we all have to go through the bad stuff - however big or small - to appreciate the good (Nietzsche i think?) and i'm sure this situation has had a huge impact on TT.

i hope that you are now a stronger and more enlightened woman from your experience, and that you are happy with yourself and your life.

kindest respect and regards.

LittleTinker

i too have just read through the whole thread........and I cant believe half of what I have read.

I also predicted from the first post that hubby would leave, come back and then leave again.

How is it that things can be so clear and obvious to some, and others cannot spot the signs even when they are right in front of their face?

Tina, you are wrong to take out your anger on the other woman..........she ended up in the same boat as you. As you know, once you love someone, it isnt that easy to switch off......especially when there is a man there telling you that you are the best thing since sliced bread and to give him time as he is confused etc etc.

You do not know what the other woman has invested in this relationship any more than she knows about you. You also do not know what she was told in the first instance. (I once met a man who told me he was divorced. How was I supposed to know he was lying until the lies added up, if you see what I mean?)
The best thing you could both do is get together and have a coffee together........you are both being played by a liar and a cheat.

sashadesade

LittleTinker wrote: »

i too have just read through the whole thread........and I cant believe half of what I have read.

I also predicted from the first post that hubby would leave, come back and then leave again.

How is it that things can be so clear and obvious to some, and others cannot spot the signs even when they are right in front of their face?

Because it's hard to be objective when you're the one in a particular situation. I suppose it's like watching a film and knowing exactly how it's going to play out, but when you find yourself in that situation you're blinded by emotion (and a certain degree of denial) and suddenly things aren't that simple.
When I started reading this thread I also thought that hubby would end up bouncing between the two women (he sounds like a have-your-cake-and-eat-it kind of guy, and spineless to boot), but I guess when it happens to you, you believe what you want to believe.