I just do not know what to do

paddy's_mum

I'm sorry to hear your news, but so, so relieved that you're going for medical checks.

Can I suggest that with the evenings drawing out now, you find the time and energy to go out for a walk most evenings after work. Kick a fence post or two, swear blue murder at a convenient tree (I promise it will simply smile and forgive you) pour out all the anguish in your heart to a tolerant horse or stolid cow in a field but let a bit of fresh air and exercise help you over these first difficult days.

Sometimes huddling in your den staring at the walls is the worst thing you can do for yourself.

I shall be thinking of you and as a firm believer in karma, may I say (for the second time today on this board) that I hope your husband gets all that he so richly deserves. Above all, take care of yourself and don't let bitterness blind you to all the goodness and kindness there is in the world.

tinatony1

i am either keeping his stuff for my use or selling it on ebay.

i however still have to try to get on with what i have left, and i am really struggling.

the doctor has told i cannot afford to lose any more weight but i dont want to eat, i try but it tastes of nothing, everything is nothing

newbeginning_2

Things will get better for you Tina, you've wasted far too much time on him already and you deserve so much better, keep trying with the eating, I know it's had when you don't have an appetite, but something's better than nothing so even if you can only eat a few mouthful's at least you've eaten x

MyRubyRed

honeyD wrote: »

Tell him to pick up his stuff. Leaving it there means he has a way to come back again which he shouldnt be given! Id have thrown it all outside already and told him to get his backside over and take it away.

honeyD is spot on. What practicalities are left to discuss? You sorted most first time round. Get some black bin liners and a locksmith xx

tinatony1

thank you all so much for the support with you guys and my friend who i was with last night i hope to get through this
i am signing off now for a little while but i will be back
i will try and eat i promise

exup

Hopefully you can get a decent nice meal and maybe curl up with a good film or something to ttry and maybe take your mind off it even just for a little while (easier said than done I know).
Its going to hurt for a while, and you are going to want him back so much at times it may make it feel like you world is collapsing. Dont be afraid of picking up your phone and calling friends or family even its just to sob down the phone to them - if they are good friends they will understand and just to talk does help.

Your hearts broken and I know what that feels like, even though its not been done exactly the same way as myself, you have my sympathies and a big virtual hug. best wishes hun x

ZarZar1990

Tina, I had a boyfriend who treated me like this, not quite to the extend your !!!! husband has, but still.
I'm so glad you're determined not to let him come crawling back, tell him to do one, sell his stuff, or put it in a skip!
People have to learn, they can't take advantage of people just because they're good natured like yourself.
You've given him a million chances and he's blown them all!

You will come out of this a strong, independent woman, with everything going for you, and he will be the broken one.

I really hope you are okay, and I understand the not being able to eat thing, best thing to do in your situation is stick to soups, as they're not heavy, and they're really comforting to have something warm going into your belly when you've cried all your energy away.
Bit of bread for dipping, and you can slowly start building your appetite back up by snacking on high calorie fruits, such as a banana for example.

Thoughts are with you!
Good luck!
xxx

worriedsik

OMG Tina xxx

I am not surprised really but i know you will be and i think its fair to say you couldnt see it because you love him, i have been there too but NOW tina lets start moving on.

Get bin bags and get his stuff out, hope you have told his parents and friends if not then do so it will start closing the door for you so that you can heal & start picking up the pieces

It wont do you any good holding on to his stuff or wasting your energy calling her a !!!!! tina, you should now use that energy & direct it at other things which will help you because they are not worth it.
Use the angry energy to sort your self out , cut all ties with him tina and start moving on, i will support you on here if you start to take posative steps , i hope your next post will be that you have bagged up all his belongings and they are out off the house

hugs x

Aruna

tinatony1 wrote: »

yes he has left again, his stuff is all still here but he is with her again.

i dont really know if he ever came back apart from in body.

it is a long and complicted saga and i cannot take anymore of the lies and betrayal

i truly believe in karma and if i can help it along in anyway then i will, he will get his just rewards and so will the !!!!! from hell.

Tina you only live once, i really hope this time you will be good to yourself and do something about it.

I feel he only came back to you in body because of sympathy as he knows how lost you are without him, now with time, the sympathy has worn off, he's hurting you again. This can carry on for years and the damage it can cause to you mentally can be for life.

You are losing weight over him, is he?

Sending you loads of hugs

sunshine_shell

Get everything you don't want put it in bin bags, change the locks and leave it outside. Then send him a text to come and collect otherwise you will take it to the charity shop in two days. Personally i wouldn't want to keep any of it!!