I just do not know what to do

tony1974

hello tina

coming from another bloke i can see whats going on here trust me! i have been on bothsides of the fence both the dumper and dumpee. (ill tell you exactly what to do if you want him back)

I was with a G/F for 5 years and got cold feet and wanted to see other women just like your H is doing now. I told my G/F at the time I wanted to break up and see other women and i was over, she cryed *I Loved seeing her cry* it made me have all the power and knowing i could always go back when ever i wanted:T

cut a long story short. I would get phone calls from her everyday begging me to take her back *how i loved that* only to tell her NO SORRY its not going to happen:rotfl: now here is where it all changed and what YOU NEED TO DO!

She stopped all contact! no phone calls no bumping into me in the street ect.. after 3 days I was like !!!!!!??? i started to try and call her thinking whats she doing? is she with another man?:o she never spoke to me in 6 weeks I knew nothing about her what she was doing or who with??? she had turned the tables on me:mad: I was the one who was wanting to get back with her! she had me by the balls literally. any how we got back together a few weeks later after me begging, crying to her she gave in, but it did not last she was strong (like you are going to be) and called it off 9 months later:o I still miss my EX and will never forget her ever.

Now upto date in todays relationship im in.

Iv been with my G/F 10 years have 2 kids, any how she starts getting text messages from her EX im like !!!!!! is going on here???? i dont let her know i know whats going on. the texts are just sort of "good morn XX" "hows things" ect.. I think not much about it, but do not like it and say nothing untill the other day i read a message and it says " are you still on for tues? XX" she texts "yes" that was a week before the tuesday that the text was talking about.

The Tuesday comes along and she says that she is going out for a birthday meal with a G/F from work and will not be long now i know the text message is not her G/F from works its not her number so i start to think?? any how she is getting ready to go out and i take another look at her text messages and there it was " HI ***** dont call round bcos im out with ****** and ******* does not know iv told him im out with you see you in work" the ****** is her Ex B/F

Im gutted and tell her before she walks out the door " i know whats going on and will not be here when she gets home" she goes off on one we have a big fight and leaves to go on her dinner date with her EX:mad: back today 5 days on since it happend i have not called her or wanted to speak to her at all now she is on the phone to me asking me to come home :rotfl:

listen to this if you want your H backand listen good TRUST ME!!! you need to start this NOW you need to cut all contact with him thats no texting, phoning, or meeting up for drinks;) you need to let him miss you the only way thats going to happen is if you keep to the NCR (no contact rule) trust me Iv been on both sides of it and it works every time!

follow the NCR and i will put my house one it he will be back with in 30 days any time you see him in the 30 days will restart the clock back to day 1. how long as this been going on for 2/3 months of feeling like your hart as been cut out? do what I say now and come back and thank me in 4 weeks time;) I know you will watch this space PPL

good luck tina XX

Mely

Hi Tony, i totally agree with the ncr, but that will only work if Tina still wants him back, now that she is starting to slowly feel better, and maybe the realisation of how it would be if she took him back has sunk in? I know that i could never take back someone that did that to me. The thought of them being together, for starters, i wouldnt be able to get that out of my mind. Also the fear that he may do it again, and having no peace of mind when he isnt with me.
But everyone is different and i know that Tina will make the right decision for herself.
I hope she is ok.

Mely

Tony, i totally agree with you! At least this way (ncr rule), Tina is taking control of the situation, and i can see him come crawling back! Otherwise from what i can see, he is quite happy to keep T dangling, and keeping his options open indefinately.
(sorry Tina for dicussing you when your not here, but you know its because we care x)

lilmissmup

Grrr to him saying he doesn't know what he wants still, why is it always about what they want? :rolleyes:

I have only had two emails off my ex now in two weeks, hes still saying he has no clue what he wants out of life but that if he had a second chance he would have done things differently.

The point my ex doesn't seem to get is he left me, but he seems to want to keep me waiting whether he means to or not. Seems there are a few people out there who think the grass is greener but then realise its not the case.

If you can Tina when you have the strength change your phone number, I did nearly 3 weeks ago now, its lovely knowing my ex can't text me cos even him just saying Hi would get me thinking.

I can't believe its been nearly 5 month since my ex walked out, prob cos he kept me in contact, his last email he said to me the thought of never talking to me again was unbearable, well thats his issue, I am no where near strong enough yet to talk to him without hoping. Prob never will be.

I am defo on the I love him but don't like him vibe, well more I know it wouldn't work. I don't want to go back to what our relationship was in the end so I need to stop all contact, just hoping he finally gets the hint.

Hope you have a few good days this week xx

stardoman

I definately agree with the no contact rule.

I had been with my then boyfiriend for 3 years, when over a period of months it became apparant that he would never marry me or even live with me. He expected to continue living with his mum and dad, meeting me on a weekend. He told me in no uncertain terms that if I was after marriage and children then it wouldn't be with him.

But I did want more. I did want marriage and children eventually. I explained this all to him and we agreed to split up. During this time I did not contact him. After a week he started trying to ring me. As soon as I heard his voice I would hang up. Not to get him back, but because I did not see us as having a future together, I didn't want to weaken my resolve. I wanted to get over him and give myself the chance to meet someone who wanted the same as me for the future.

After 2 weeks, he became desparate. He rang and begged me not to hang up, and then asked me to meet him. He told me later that he just wanted to say goodbye - he had no intention of us getting back together. However, when we met, he decided he had to do anything to keep me and proposed.

We have now been (fairly) happily married for 15 years and have 3 children. I am sure that if I hadn't been so intent on splitting up and avoiding contact that we would have just continued as we were foreever. My husband even said recently that he would never proposed if I hadn't made it plain that he could only keep me if he went through the whole marriage and family thing.

D.

tony1974

stardoman wrote: »

I definately agree with the no contact rule.

I had been with my then boyfiriend for 3 years, when over a period of months it became apparant that he would never marry me or even live with me. He expected to continue living with his mum and dad, meeting me on a weekend. He told me in no uncertain terms that if I was after marriage and children then it wouldn't be with him.

But I did want more. I did want marriage and children eventually. I explained this all to him and we agreed to split up. During this time I did not contact him. After a week he started trying to ring me. As soon as I heard his voice I would hang up. Not to get him back, but because I did not see us as having a future together, I didn't want to weaken my resolve. I wanted to get over him and give myself the chance to meet someone who wanted the same as me for the future.

After 2 weeks, he became desparate. He rang and begged me not to hang up, and then asked me to meet him. He told me later that he just wanted to say goodbye - he had no intention of us getting back together. However, when we met, he decided he had to do anything to keep me and proposed.

We have now been (fairly) happily married for 15 years and have 3 children. I am sure that if I hadn't been so intent on splitting up and avoiding contact that we would have just continued as we were foreever. My husband even said recently that he would never proposed if I hadn't made it plain that he could only keep me if he went through the whole marriage and family thing.

D.

Now thats the best example of the NCR i have ever read:p:T
there you go Tina = proof it works! you try it i can promise you it will work for you also;) I know it will for you 101% because i have read whats going on here with you and your H and the NCR is fool proof in your predicament hes still talking to you !!!!!! tell him youv moved on and living with your dad and its over and leave it at that:D watch him come a running:cool:

you want him back?? its the only way TRUST ME

worriedsik

Tony1964
yes your theory will work as it did in practice for you, however it may not be sustainabil as you did mention that your relationship only lasted 9 months after the ncr ! so really what is the point in all off that ? probably a good idea if its a means to an end so that it can bring the inevitable closer IYSWIM
Isnt this what is called mind games & why should you have to do that with somebody if they love you ! or am i just old fashioned in my thinking ?
personaly i wouldnt want somebody back once they had broke trust and possibly been intimate with another whilst i sat at home in the state tina has been in ( and he knew i had been so upset )
Tina you havent been posting i do hope things are ok and whatever has happened please let us know nobody is here to judge you and anything i say is only my opinion , in the end the decision is ultimately yours
I went back with somebody who hurt me badly ( didnt cheat on me with another ) so i know how dificult it is to break away from somebody you love but for me it was over even although it was a slow death so to speak.

Hope you are ok tina and you dont have to post on here what exactly has happened now , just hope you are ok

x

worriedsik

tony1974 wrote: »

Now thats the best example of the NCR i have ever read:p:T
there you go Tina = proof it works! you try it i can promise you it will work for you also;) I know it will for you 101% because i have read whats going on here with you and your H and the NCR is fool proof in your predicament hes still talking to you !!!!!! tell him youv moved on and living with your dad and its over and leave it at that:D watch him come a running:cool:

you want him back?? its the only way TRUST ME

yes but.......he didnt leave this poster for another woman did he !

myothercarisaferrari

I can never understand how someone could take a partner back after they have been with another person? I just don't get it?

My ex and i split two months ago now and I cried, pleaded and begged for 4 weeks to take me back.

I have been doing the NCR now for the remaining 8 weeks and nothing:rolleyes:haha x

tinatony1

Hi All

sorry i havent posted for a while, have been so stacked at work its not true.

to be honest with you all i dont really know what to say, i have had some ok days and then a couple of really really bad ones.

At the moment i am just waiting for thursday/friday to come to see what happens to father in law, he is not doing too good as the upset of having the op cancelled really hit him hard, i saw him on friday and as i was leaving he gave me a hug, this is very unlike him, not a touchy feely person at all. i am trying to put my feelings on hold at the moment so that i can try and buck him up abit before the op.
i know you will say that this is not the best thing for me but i cant let him down, he has been like a second dad to me.