I just do not know what to do

nm123_2

How are things today Tina?

ZarZar1990

Glad you're feeling a bit better Tina

whitelillies

HI Tinatony, its taken me 2days to read your thread and a box of tissues and a lot of crying. I have posted a similar thread about the loss of my partner (not as you did but what it comes down to his he hurt me time and time again). Theres so many mixed emotions that go through your head and i too wanted to give me relationship another go. I dont believe in giving up without a fight, but sadly my partner hasnt changed and yes i love love him and although hes done what hes done he does love me and want me back. But i cant forgive him anymore. Ive lost weight too, and im tiny anyway. Ive cried, ive txt him (not that i want him back, ive just txt him how i feel and i wanted an explanation of why hes done what he done, time and time again. I never got an answer. Ive been with my partner 11 years (we lived together for 8, split up and sold the home and then he wanted to try again, so we did). People said i was mad but i couldnt listen to them, this was my life and if i didnt give it a second try i would have wondered all my life if it couldve worked. So here i am with another two years down the line and hes ended the relationship twice in 3months. Just like all them years ago. He wants me back of course, but i cant do it anymore i dont trust him. My hearts in pieces, he told me he would never leave and hes done it again. Anyway its been a long couple of weeks but ive realised YES i do love him but i dont like him anymore. I admire you so much and although me situation is different my emotions have been like yours. I think the posts people have sent to you are tremendous and theyve helped me so much to. I was recommended to read your posts by another poster and although ive cried until i had no more tears left its done me the world of good too. Anyway this isnt about me its about you and were all unique, have our own way with dealing with things. The situation your in is life changing so of course it hurts and no one call tell you what to or what not to do. But your doing FANTASTICALLY. Anyway enough of me going on, your gaining strength everyday i can tell by the way the thread has gone and i admire your committment to doing what is right for yourself. big HUGS xx

tinatony1

thank you so much whitelillies, i am so sorry you have been in a similar situation, from the many other responses i have had it does seem that unfortunately we are not alone, so many are going through similar things.

keep strong and i will try as well, it is hard and i do still miss him every minute of every day but i am keeping calm when i see him, it is the only thing i can do.

big hugs

xxxx

Lunar_Eclipse

Enjoyed some MCR last night, courtesy of you.

You're doing really well; keep up the effort, but bear in mind this adjustment will come in waves. Waves go up and down, but always wash up calm on the shore. xx

blossom30

Hi tinatony, great to hear you are on the up. You should find yourself a nice toy boy, (now that would put a smile on your face perhaps not your hubbys)....then why should he have all the fun. Seriously though, how would your husband react if you invted another man into your bed the way he has with this other woman. He would be back with you quicker than it takes to send a text message! In an earlier post he even appeared jealous when you were giving your undivided attention to one of his mates..how dare he when he is canoodling with this other woman. I really do hope you find the strength to do what you really want. shrewdalx

sunshine_shell

Hi Tina i've also been following your thread and think you are so brave and i think Whitelillies hit the nail on the head with ''YES i do love him but i dont like him anymore''

you are getting stronger and stronger and i'm very proud of you!!

whitelillies

I suppose like you i dont give up easily, i fight the fight, but ive just got no fight left and ultimately if he did come back (which he does want to) i just couldnt look at him in the same way. I couldnt sleep with him, let him near me because hes betrayed my trust. I would end up hating him and thats not what i want, because i love him. So im just letting go and in time he'll see what hes lost, which after 11years of knowing him he will realise sooner rather than later. Which is what he said in a txt to me that im irreplaceable and always will be, no relationship he will ever have will be the same and he knows that. But ultimately thats his loss not mine because I tried my best. And believe me when i tell you thats exactly what your husband will see in time. You like me have acted with dignity and respect and have never faultered from your true feeling, which is what your husband and my partner will never find in any other woman theyve met or may meet in the future. X

whitelillies

Just to add, im just being more logical with all thats happened. I cant change my emotions and neither can you, or justify them but if you try and put your emotions aside for a while and thinking about it logically (and eventually you will be able to) you will feel calm and more in control and you never know, what you think and want now maybe not want to think and want in the future. Everything happens for a reason good or bad and this will be the making of a new YOU, because its a life changing situation.

worriedsik

Hi tina

How are things ? you have went a bit quite hope all is ok with you x