I just do not know what to do

Sexy_Legs

Well done Tina, he must have been really taken back.

Keep it up, he won't know what has hit him.

D

bulchy

tinatony1 wrote: »

not doing too bad today, i took the plunge today and had my hair cut, i used to have very long (i could nearly sit on it ) hair but now it is just on my shoulders and layered, i was quite nervous but i do like it. The next step is to possibly change the colour but one step at a time. The new me begins ?

H came over to pick up his post and looked completely shocked to see my new look, he wanted to know why i hadnt told him i was going to do it so i just said ' i dont need to now do i?' he was shocked at that response but said that he really liked it, he also started to tell me that he and her had had a big barny the other night where he slept on the sofa and i just said i didnt really want to know about it, it was none of my concern and again he looked taken aback.

so i am getting stronger in some ways, havent cried at all today or last night.

have got a very busy week coming up at work so that will keep my mind off things as well.

Have been following your thread but havent really known what to say to you, you've been on such a rollercoaster these last weeks, reading the above, I felt I had to congratulate you :T you sound so positive, well done you!! You've been given some great advice and had loads of support from others here, it sounds like you've turned a corner. I must admit I had to laugh when you said hes had a barny with her, serves him right. Heres you looking gorgeous with your new haircut and positive outlook, theres him going back to her, haha whos the mug there, not you. Keep this up girl.
Sue xx

LydiaJ

Why not get the DVD of "Sliding Doors". It might encourage your new strength.

Mely

Wow...well done Tina!!!!!!:D You are doing so well,stay strong!!!!:T:T:T:T

tinatony1

just had a bl***y set back, work have screwd up paying my wages into my new bank account, it has gone into the old bank account so i have had to cancel the standing order for the rent and set up a transfer into the new account from the old which can take 3 days. arrggghhh. work promised me they had set up the new account details. they are just so sh**.

now i have to try and get in touch with rent people to ask if they will take a cheque this month but cant do that till tomorrow, which is going to be difficult as i am invigilating exams all day tomorrow. I also need to phone HR and shout at them. P***** off to say the least.

have really had enough, i am really angry and am having to deal with it all on my bl**dy own

i miss H even more now as he would have calmed me down and said it will be ok but he's not here and that makes me even more angry.

nm123_2

tinatony1 wrote: »

just had a bl***y set back, work have screwd up paying my wages into my new bank account, it has gone into the old bank account so i have had to cancel the standing order for the rent and set up a transfer into the new account from the old which can take 3 days. arrggghhh. work promised me they had set up the new account details. they are just so sh**.

now i have to try and get in touch with rent people to ask if they will take a cheque this month but cant do that till tomorrow, which is going to be difficult as i am invigilating exams all day tomorrow. I also need to phone HR and shout at them. P***** off to say the least.

have really had enough, i am really angry and am having to deal with it all on my bl**dy own

i miss H even more now as he would have calmed me down and said it will be ok but he's not here and that makes me even more angry.

Put it all into perspective - it will get sorted and it will all be ok. You can't do ANYTHING about it right now, so don't even try. Try and find 5 mins tomorrow to make your calls and leave it at that.

Rough with the smooth hun... You can cope with this, I promise...

k_bagpuss

Hey Tina,

It's just as well you have us to say "Calm down Tina" instead then isn't it!! :rotfl:
I was chuffed to bits when I ready about you treating yourself to a new look. I commented on your thread in the early days as I was in your exact position in 2005.

It's typical for work to mess things up - but look at it this way. Whats the point in fretting about it today. It's Sunday. No one will be sat there thinking "That bloomin Tina hasn't paid her rent" There's nothing you can do about it now so have a coffee and a biccie and watch a chick flick or something equally trashy to take your mind off things. Then contact them tomorrow when you CAN do something about it. I'm sure if you can call them first thing they'll be absolutely fine with you once you've explained whats happened.

Anyhoo glad to see you are still posting - try to keep your chin up and stay focused on lovely you - you are worth it

Kay_Peel

tinatony1 wrote: »

just had a bl***y set back....
i miss H even more now as he would have calmed me down and said it will be ok but he's not here and that makes me even more angry.

Believe me, this isn't a set-back - this is how you move forward.

You can now tick off an achievement: 'I am dealing with a crisis WITHOUT the emotional and practical support of H.'

I'm going to give you a big pat on the back and three cheers for that - well done. :T

You'll find that when H sees that you have picked yourself up, got yourself a new hair style, and that you are taking care of your appearance, living and coping without him, he starts to see you in a new light. You remind him of the person you once were, before you became a couple. He'll find that attractive and he'll be interested in 'keeping tabs' on you - looking for excuses to visit or to make contact. He might even flirt and confide in you.

Make no mistake, it's just an insurance policy against the failure of his new relationship. I really would advise that he doesn't call around when you are still so vulnerable and emotionally fraught. Take control of when, where and in what circumstances you meet, if you need to meet.

I don't think you are missing HIM exactly. You are missing being part of a couple and missing the emotional and practical support that a partner gives you. It's all part of the adjustment and the 'letting go'. It's painful, weird and a bit scarey - but it does wonders for your confidence and self esteem.

You're doing fine, honestly. :A

MyRubyRed

Tina, totally agree with the posts above! You don't need H to calm you down!!! You are entitled to be p'd off at having your wages messed up but YOU (not him) ARE dealing with it. So proud of you for getting the haircut and everything else. Look at Kays 4th para..does that ring a bell???
You know I'm here for you. xxxx

tinatony1

You Guys are all just so brilliant :T:T:T

i wish i could do something to thank you all for what you have done for me i really do. i couldnt have got this far without you, not this soon anyhow.

i just want to send the biggest hugs i can to everyone of you, you really are lifesavers.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: