I just do not know what to do

Pollycat

tinatony1 wrote: »

and yes part of me wants to find this woman and smack her in the mouth for not keeping her hands to herself

but i wont do this

Tina
That's why you'll be the one coming out of this mess with dignity - unlike the other 2 people involved.

tinatony1

that is true, my heart maybe torn into pieces but i havent lowered myself to their level.

however i do still (foolishly maybe) hold out that it isnt all over yet, he just needs to make up his mind as to whether he wants to try before i have to make mine up for the sake of my sanity

it would be so much easier if i didnt love him so much

Dancing_Shoes

tinatony1 wrote: »

and yes part of me wants to find this woman and smack her in the mouth for not keeping her hands to herself

but i wont do this

This is the right thing to do (not hitting her) but I can't say I would be so restrained and would have paid a visit to their offices!!!:mad:, probably would have dumped his stuff there aswell;)

RAS

tinatony1 wrote: »

we do have a huge amount of debt so i still need him to be commited to paying it back with me

Hi love

Sorry to hear about the problems at home.

re the money, are the debts in your name, his name or in joint names?

How much each?

tandraig

awww tinatony am so sorry its turned out this way.
at least you are keeping your head and not doing anything you will regret later.
what can i say? I know nothing will make you feel better right now - but this will pass hun...........once you have the debts sorted you will start to feel better in your self.
the advice i heard from women who have been in your situation is- as soon as you can afford it make yourself over! new hairdo, nails, some clothes etc. it helps to take your mind off him and when you concentrate on yourself you may have some surprising revelations...........some of my friends said they never realised life could be so good.
hugs anyway.

tinatony1

RAS wrote: »

Hi love

Sorry to hear about the problems at home.

re the money, are the debts in your name, his name or in joint names?

How much each?

There are debts in joint names and individually, thankfully the big loan is in joint names, the car is in his name but i dont drive so thats ok i guess, he has his own credit cards and i have my own, we have a joint account which is in overdraft

tinatony1

well to keep you all up to date, it is definately over

he is going to her ( she doesnt actually know about the debts though so that may change)

I am trying to keep calm, i have returned to work today, not easy but first step and all that

need to contact the CAB again to update them that things have changed before i have my appointment on the 27th October

still slightly in denial though i have to say

mummy_Jay

It might be worth calling the bank ragarding the overdraft etc that are in joint names, explain whats happening and ask what advice the have on managing a debt that is in a joint name. They may be able to freeze the join account so you can only pay in not out from it.

It's all about knowledge the more you understand your options the better advice you will get from CAB.

neneromanova

I just found this on the net:

http://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/breaking-up/joint-accounts-and-debts-html,399,FP.html

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/money/consumer_affairs/article6389909.ece

bank_of_slate

tinatony1 wrote: »

well to keep you all up to date, it is definately over

he is going to her ( she doesnt actually know about the debts though so that may change)

I am trying to keep calm, i have returned to work today, not easy but first step and all that

need to contact the CAB again to update them that things have changed before i have my appointment on the 27th October

still slightly in denial though i have to say

Right, time to sort out the initial mess and then concentrate on you!

You can do so much better than that pr!ck.
...Linda xx