I just do not know what to do

Pee

Put the make up on and the nicest matching underwear and think is there anything that you can do for you, like a relaxing bubble bath. Do you have any friends you could arrange a night in with, maybe a bottle of wine round at theirs and a silly girlie film?

He doesn't deserve you and unless he comes back with some serious apologies, you should be looking to be moving on. the CAB should be able to help with what debts he should be repaying.

mummy_Jay

It's going to hurt a lot but you can't force someone to be in a relationship. It's going to take time but you need to accept he is gone and there is a big world of possibilities out there just waiting for you to turn the corner.

Right now you need to look after you. my I suggest putting some fresh clean sheets on the bed, clearing all his stuff out of sight, sticking it in a box in the garden for him to collect. Or better still how about selling some of his stuff on ebay to help with those bills?

You need to moan your relationship let it out but at some point you will get angery you let him treat you like this, some where inside of you, you know you deserve so much better.

shellsuit

tinatony1 wrote: »

the thing is i dont want to give up, i want everything to be better again like i thought it was 3 days ago

but at the same time i feel like my whole world has fallen apart

I know exactly what you mean hun (been there myself).

At least though, if it's any consolation, you know his feelings and thoughts (I didn't and it dragged on for ages before I finally knew he didn't want to be with me) and he is not giving you the runaround.

Have you asked him if you can both try at it or is he adamant he doesn't want you but wants this other woman?

Does she even know he is married? xxx

pinkpig08

They say the best revenge is to show them that you're happy. I know that you're not, and I know that it's incredibly hard for you right now, but for him to see how strong you are takes the power of the situation away from him and gives it to you. It's now not up to him who he wants the relationship with. HE did this to YOU and now YOU are in charge. Show him you're coping fine and don't need him to choose between you - you are worth so much more.

tinatony1

she knows he is married

i have asked him if we can both try at this rather than throw 11 years away and he said he didnt know

i have just spoken to my dad again and he has phoned my hubby to speak to him and tell him not to be such a prat and also to remind him that half of the debts are his responsibility which hubby has agreed to support me with

i have an appointment at the CAB on the 27th to discuss the debt thing, i need him to come with me for this

shellsuit

tinatony1 wrote: »

she knows he is married

i have asked him if we can both try at this rather than throw 11 years away and he said he didnt know

i have just spoken to my dad again and he has phoned my hubby to speak to him and tell him not to be such a prat and also to remind him that half of the debts are his responsibility which hubby has agreed to support me with

i have an appointment at the CAB on the 27th to discuss the debt thing, i need him to come with me for this

Is she married or with anyone??

Women !!!!!!, some of them I could easily b!tch slap with a plank of wood with nails in it :mad:

There are how many single men? Yet some go for married men?

Do you know what hun, as much as I know it hurts and upsets you, let him go. He could have been upto anything and he was coming home to you?

He doesn't care, she doesn't care, the only person you should be caring about is yourself.

tinatony1

she isnt married but she has 2 kids, we dont have any together but have been discussing having one even up until last week

thats why it is all so bloody cr*p

CarliJ

i didnt just want to read and run, just wanted to say Im thinking of you, and heres a big hug from me hhhhhuuuuuuggggg

C xx

maggied_2

Oh Tinatony huge hugs - what a horrible situation to find yourself in. Do allow yourself to grieve - this is a huge shock. Allow yourself some time to wallow (not too long!) after which you promise yourself you'll take some action.

When my XH left I had a rubbish time at first but then started picking myself up - got rid of his stuff, posted anything that he hadn't taken with him to his mother's and then made my flat my own again. Luckily I found some vouchers we'd been given as wedding presents that we'd never spent so bought things like bedding, towels, crockery and some expensive wine! Cheered me up no end!

You don't have to start doing it right away if you don't want to - but if you're angry and fired up then make a start.
Good luck xxx

tinatony1

i am torn in 2, i am bloody angry half the time and in pieces the other half.

we dont have a mortgage thank goodness but we do have a huge amount of debt so i still need him to be commited to paying it back with me

and yes part of me wants to find this woman and smack her in the mouth for not keeping her hands to herself

but i wont do this