I just do not know what to do

shellsuit

Suppose you didn't think of taking her number from his phone and ringing her once he'd left did you?

tinatony1

I am so touched by all of your replys, thank you so much.

After speaking to him when he returned he dropped the bombshell that he doesnt even know if he wants to repair it

he said he needed a couple of days apart to think things over so i agreed, what else could i do, keep him hostage!

so he left and i cried some more, didnt think i had so many tears

i have spoken to my dad and told him, he is coming to see me this morning

however i did a silly thing, a stupid deranged thing really, i got myself so worked up last night that he was with her that i called him, to ask him, he said he wasnt , i asked how could i believe him and he got annoyed, so i texted him and called him several more times but he wouldnt answer, i was in a pathetic state i admit, this is so not like me, i have always been the strong one

anyway he came home last night so angry that i had kept calling we had another argument and i finally cried my self to sleep

he has gone to work today and my eyes look like ive had an allergic reaction to hair dye

Dad will be here in a little while and im going to tell him about our dept problems as well, not really the right time but i hope he might be able to help out with the rest of my bills this month so i can try and concentrate on sorting out my marriage

tinatony1

shellsuit wrote: »

Suppose you didn't think of taking her number from his phone and ringing her once he'd left did you?

no i didnt, part of me wishes i had but he thinks i am going to go and find her at work and scratch her eyes out or something

i told him i wouldnt lower my self

shellsuit

It's not stupid and derranged what you did, you did it through sheer desperation because you didn't know what else to do and didn't understand what was happening ~ I, along with a lot of other women will have done the exact same thing!

Did he say anything to you this morning?

shellsuit

tinatony1 wrote: »

no i didnt, part of me wishes i had but he thinks i am going to go and find her at work and scratch her eyes out or something

i told him i wouldnt lower my self

Men make me laugh sometimes!! (in a bloody sarcastic way)

He's worried for who? For you? For himself? For her?

Has he explained why he was with her?

It's can't be innocent or else why lie and say he was going to work?!

tinatony1

he said he just needed to be away from me for a little while.

thats ok we all need space sometimes but not with another woman

if only he had talked to me 6 months ago when he started to feel like this

MrsAnnie

Not sure what to say. But I feel so sorry for what you must be feeling right now. One thing that is good is that he is being honest with you and not trying to say that everything is alright and denying everything.

You are lucky to have a dad you can count on! Don't go through this alone, it is amazing how family and friends will rally around and help out when you need it most - don't underestimate them!

As for the repeated calls to him, I think most women would have done the same thing out of frustration and anger. So don't beat yourself up over that. We can't be strong all the time (unfortunately!!! )

Don't feel you need to sort out all the bills etc today. Unless it helps keep your mind distracted, just leave them for another day.

Sounds as if both of you need space for now and then you can sit down and talk about how to go forward.

:grouphug:

tinatony1

The thing is i still love with all my heart, even after this, i want to make it work i am just not sure if he does

although i do also hate him a little bit too now, i just wanted to punch him so hard

MrsAnnie

tinatony1 wrote: »

The thing is i still love with all my heart, even after this, i want to make it work i am just not sure if he does

although i do also hate him a little bit too now, i just wanted to punch him so hard

That is why I think you both need a little time and space before making any life changing decisions. Some couples are able to move forward and make the relationship work again; others are not able rebuild that trust and forgive. Only you can decide what you will and won't accept from him.

tinatony1

well i had better go now for a while, put some slap on so i dont give my poor dad a heart attack
i will come back and update though
thank you all for your kind words, i will be strong again, at least ill try