I just do not know what to do

myothercarisaferrari

Tina, I am going to be harsh only because I have gone through a painful split recently and it is making me cringe reading your post.


I'm very sorry but he has moved out to live with another woman and you want him back??

worriedsik

tinatony1 wrote: »

if it doesn't go the way i hope then i will deal with it,
i guess i am sort of used to being on my own now, i wont like it but i will have to get on with it.
At the end of the day all my illusions have been shattered, i thought life was good and happy but have in fact discovered it is completely Sh*t

There are worse things tina than being on your own believe me x

tinatony1

yes i do

i am willing to work at things, if it can be saved by working it through then i will try. I have been in love with him for 11 years, my feelings have not diminished at all.

all situations are different, this is my way of working through this one for me.

if i am wrong then i am wrong, i will just have to pick up the pieces and go on with life, but i wont stop loving him even then

worriedsik

tinatony1 wrote: »

if it doesn't go the way i hope then i will deal with it,
i guess i am sort of used to being on my own now, i wont like it but i will have to get on with it.
At the end of the day all my illusions have been shattered, i thought life was good and happy but have in fact discovered it is completely Sh*t

ps...its sh*t right now yeh but it will not always be ! he has made it sh*t you can move on and be much happier than where you are at now.......is his life sh*t right now ?

x

Minimum_Wage_2

Hi Tina,
I hear what your saying and you've got guts girlie. I know how your feeling as i was the same a few months ago, but i was doing all the work and the OP was just getting on with their everyday things and not really giving me a 2nd thought. The longer it went on the more i noticed that was missing.

You still have some fight left in you and you want to at least give it that last go before you just give up and walk away. So long as you stand by that and if that day should come when you know its not really save anything then stick by your words for your own good and well being.

Sexy_Legs

Tina

He is the one who has made it sh*t for you, and he may well continue to do so, even if his decision is to come back to you. If the decision on Saturday is that he stays with this other women, please do not do him anymore favours, ie. with regards his sick father etc., I bet that will be the card trick he has up his sleeve to try and keep things dangling for a bit longer (pack his stuff in bags and change the locks). Also tell his family everything so they know exactly what a complete heartless idiot he is, Oh and tell his friends to.

Does this other women know he is on this 2 week decision time thingy, she may well be under the impression he is with her for good. Why did he not go away somewhere or stay with a friend if he really needed time to think, he should NOT be staying with the other women and most certainly not taking you along to his darts evenings acting like everything is normal.

Pollycat

Tina
You've had almost overwhelming advice to ditch this guy but you have been very strong and have never wavered from your intention to hang on to your man if at all possible.

How you've managed to carry on these last 10 or so days when you know that he's with her yet still popping round to take you to work and even to socialise with his friends is beyond me.

Regardless of all the advice from people who've been in the same position as you are right now, you have to do what feels right to you right now.

You may regret letting him walk all over you in the very near future (if he decides his life from now on will not include you), you may regret it further in the future (if he cheats on you again or you one day wake up and smell the coffee and realise he's treated you appallingly and is no longer the catch you think he is now) - but at least you've had the courage to be true to your feelings and I respect you for that.

I think you're wrong but you do have my respect.

Thinking of you.

jo91

Pollycat, you have articulated exactly what I was thinking. Tina you have very strong convictions. I wish you all the best whatever the outcome of this situation is and that you can be happy.

Ruby_Moon

tinatony1 wrote: »

I am so touched by all of your replys, thank you so much.

After speaking to him when he returned he dropped the bombshell that he doesnt even know if he wants to repair it

he said he needed a couple of days apart to think things over so i agreed, what else could i do, keep him hostage!

so he left and i cried some more, didnt think i had so many tears

i have spoken to my dad and told him, he is coming to see me this morning

however i did a silly thing, a stupid deranged thing really, i got myself so worked up last night that he was with her that i called him, to ask him, he said he wasnt , i asked how could i believe him and he got annoyed, so i texted him and called him several more times but he wouldnt answer, i was in a pathetic state i admit, this is so not like me, i have always been the strong one

anyway he came home last night so angry that i had kept calling we had another argument and i finally cried my self to sleep

he has gone to work today and my eyes look like ive had an allergic reaction to hair dye

Dad will be here in a little while and im going to tell him about our dept problems as well, not really the right time but i hope he might be able to help out with the rest of my bills this month so i can try and concentrate on sorting out my marriage

Yeah, he was definitely with her.

I was a bit behind with the thread with my first sentence there, sorry about that, I have caught up a bit now.
Tina, this guy is having an affair and keeping you hanging on a string. He is feeding you snippets to make you think he still cares for you and you are falling for it.
He is definitely having his cake and eating it too! He is keeping the door open to you, do you not see that?
Respect yourself and tell him to hike it. You do not want to take this guy back after the way he treated you. You do not want to take this guy back full stop! If he wants to come back at all, its because the 'fun' part of the new realionship with 'her' is slowing down.....real life sets in and they want back with the comforts they had before.
And believe me, if you ever take this guy back, he will do it again and again throughout yourl ives together.

nm123_2

I think Tina would probably be dishing out the advice we've all given if it was was one of us posting about this... But when you're actually in that situation (or any situation) you feel differently about it, and I don't think it comes down to right or wrong or good or bad, you just do what you can.

"Pull yourself together, tell him to eff off" might be good advice for some people, but to me, it doesn't sound like Tina's in that place.

Tina - I hope you don't think we're judging you, we've just got very protective over you! Like Pollycat, I respect the way you're handling it. I think you should find a wee bit of comfort in knowing your a fighter and not a quitter. That takes strength.