I just do not know what to do

Primrose

You are obviously badly shaken by this. I think the most sensible thing to try and do is try and find out exactly why he felt he had to spend time with this woman in this way. You say "He said things have been going wrong for him for 6 months". If this knowledge has come as a shock for you and you thought things were fine, it does suggest that the two of you haven't been communicating very deeply over this period and sharing your honest feelings about your marriage. However hurt/angry you feel, the best thing you can do is sit down with him and ask him exactly "What's wrong?" Is he unhappy at work, does he feel he's not getting the attention/emotional support from you that he needs? Or is he just bored with your marriage and wanting some stimulation elsewhere. You say you are deeply in debt. This is obviously an issue in your marriage on which you are not pulling together and this is something you need to discuss with him and resolve. I haven't had time to read through this entire thread but hope by now that you have both been able to sit down and discuss what has happened and resolve a way forward for you both. Without mutual trust, your relationship cannot thrive.

tinatony1

Thank you rjc73 and primrose

I am doing ok today, me and H had a bit of a talk last night, to be honest i think he is just as confused as i am at the moment, i know it is no excuse but if we are talking that at least is a step forward.

we are going to go through the CAB forms together tonight and i have been getting some good advice from the Debt free wannabe and bankruptcy boards today.

i will be sending off some letters to see if any of my debts are unenforceable and also letters to try and get some CC charges back.

this will all help with the debt thing hopefully

I guess it is starting to sink in and i will get through this and if it has to be on my own then so be it.

rosered1963

Good luck Tiny xx

tinatony1

thanks, i have listened to all the advice, but its Tina not tiny

rosered1963

Sorry Tina!

tinatony1

thats ok, i am not very big actually :rotfl:

rachel6188

tina i hope you are ok.
iv got a phrase a friend of mine used
Lifes too short to wake up with regrets, So love the people who treat you right, Forget the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason, If you get a chance take it..If it changes your life..let it. It might not be easy, But... it... will be worth it" The words of Dominique Williams Who Died On 29.08.09.
be strong hun. xxx

larmy16

Good luck Tina!:) X

MyRubyRed

Tina, Ive followed your thread from day one and my heart aches for you. Apart from your dad you haven't mentioned anyone else you are close to. Do you have any girlfriends/sisters who are near to you and who can give you some emotional support? Apologies if this has been asked and answered before its just that I think that it would help if you had someone physically there to see you through the rest of this week. Sounds like its going to be pretty hard if he does decide to go.
I'd also suggest you do visit your GP, you don't have to tell your hubby about this at all. Your GP may or may not prescribe medication, if he/she does then take it! Its likely to be a temporary and very mild course of something to help you deal with your immediate shock/nerves/lack of appetite/sleep. I must stress ...its not a long term solution and it won't take the underlying problem away. It just may help you feel physically strong enough to take an objective view.
The other thing I would say is that you know your husband, and your past relationship with him, better than any of us will ever do. And as such only you can decide whether its something worth fighting for. You can't stop him going short term but it doesn't mean its the end. xxxxxx

nm123_2

tinatony1 wrote: »

I guess it is starting to sink in and i will get through this and if it has to be on my own then so be it.

Good for you hun. Please try not to worry about him and concentrate on you. Be "selfish" and put your own well-being at the top of your priority list.