I just do not know what to do

shellsuit

Tina, do you know what I did?

I let him go. I let him go to do what the hell he liked because I knew he didn't want to be with me.

I wanted him to WANT to be with me, I didn't want him there just because it was easier for whatever reasons.

I let him go and he came back after realising the grass isn't greener.

And guess what? I had a cracking few months in between that ~ going out with my friends, copping off with blokes...I felt like a teenager all over again!!

I was like you, I said I didn't want anyone else, I wouldn't cope, I wouldn't eat......but I did and I got through it.

It took me about a month to snap and end it properly, but you may get there one day, hopefully sooner than later.

There's nothng worse than having someone be with you out of pity, believe me xxx

Pollycat

shellsuit wrote: »

There's nothng worse than having someone be with you out of pity, believe me xxx

I think the worrying thing is that he may NOT be staying out of pity, but because of some ulterior motive/hidden agenda.

tinatony1

I havent made an appointment with the doctor yet and my dad has been away all weekend in Germany so its been a pretty lonely weekend, all in all

lynzpower

It must be really lonely for you when he leaves you to go and be with his other woman whom he intends to live with .

I have to agree 200000% with pollycat, i suspect that there is an ulterior motive, is he cleaning out your accounts? Is he transferring debt into your name? Is there any money going missing?

After alll new woman might not like it, she might be claiming benefits or tax credits and him moving in, well that might not be too convenient, just stay over a few nights a week so the social dont find out and dock my benefits etc.

I worry you are flaggelating yourself, you are never going to move on if you are sharing a bed and hes still in your home. I personally think its very bullying of him nad he should do the decent thing and move out. However he wont., so you shall have to ensure that he does.


A mate of mine never realised the whole time she was growing up that her dad had a second family round the corner- he would sleep there a few nights a week after she had gone to bed. Her poor mother, every time watching him walk out the door to be with his other woman. I just couldnt imagine that heartbreak

tinatony1

hes not cleaning out the accounts he doesnt know the Pin number and he would nt know where to start with regards to transferring debt and stuff, neither would i to be honest
There is no money in the house to go missing

and to be honest i really dont think he would do that to me. that might be hard for you guys to understand but i have known him for long enough.

he is going to stand by me for the money stuff, at least he has said he will

Stephb1986_2

Tina where are you in the country? Because this might sound strange but you need to get out and have a good time with your mates and show him you don't give a stuff. Because the way he's being he doesn't give a stuff about you love. You shouldn't be wasting your heart and tears on this !!!!! there are plenty more fish in the sea it's just the matter of finding a nice one. At the moment your with a bad fish and he's just going to rot and get worse.

Christmas is coming up put your glad rags on and have a cracking time!

Steph xx

lynzpower

tinatony1 wrote: »

hes not cleaning out the accounts he doesnt know the Pin number and he would nt know where to start with regards to transferring debt and stuff, neither would i to be honest
There is no money in the house to go missing

and to be honest i really dont think he would do that to me. that might be hard for you guys to understand but i have known him for long enough.

he is going to stand by me for the money stuff, at least he has said he will

I only say this as many other MSEs also thought the same then were landed in it.

What I dont get then if he is not sayingf for the money, is why he is still there Tina- I mean he has told you hhe has someone else adn that you need to "move on" I dont get why he hasnt moved out. Has he said anything more?

Do you have children?

larmy16

Tina I am not sure if you have said whether it's your own home or rented? Is there a possibility that he may be staying put in the hope that you move out and then the other woman can move in?

This happened to a friend of mine, except he was a man and his wife was having an affair. For an entire 18 months they shared the same bed, so determined were they both to stay in their house. In the end, she cracked first and moved out.

Me, I would rather live in a bedsit than endure lying beside someone when the relationship had soured. Being on your own is infinitely better. You do have to take that step though to find out.

Good luck. X

larmy16

Fantastic post Rosered, filled with the truth. Don't play hard to get - be hard to get!

The way I see it, is Tina does hope to win this man back, then she needs to become a lot more distant and unavailable for him. You are right, he is probably loving having two women who want him .....now which one will he choose? Oh no need.....they both love and adore me. I can play them both.

snipzychick

tinatony1 wrote: »

he is going to stand by me for the money stuff, at least he has said he will

He also said some marriage vows Tina, and has betrayed you despite them!! His word can no longer be trusted hun. Please take care of yourself.