I just do not know what to do

tinatony1

hugs to you to and thank you

the most worrying thing to me is that i am feeling that i dont want to move on, other people are stronger than me, all i seem to do is sit and stare into space not wanting to do anything

not seeing the point in doing anything

i had everything i wanted in my life and now there is nothing

tinatony1

he is still at home for the most point but last night he went to her so was the first night i was completely alone and i dont like it

larmy16

tinatony1 wrote: »

hugs to you to and thank you

the most worrying thing to me is that i am feeling that i dont want to move on, other people are stronger than me, all i seem to do is sit and stare into space not wanting to do anything

not seeing the point in doing anything

i had everything i wanted in my life and now there is nothing

I don't think you can move on anyway and you are quite rightly reacting to how all people react when their world is torn apart. People who seem to be stronger are all talking about how eventually they moved on, not in the first week you found all this out.

If your dh is still in your house, going out to see another woman etc. you are hardly going to be feeling good about it are you?

Don't beat yourself up about not being strong. You have a lot of sorting out to do.

shellsuit

Tina why is he still there? Why hasn't he moved in with her? x

tinatony1

i dont know why he hasnt moved in with her yet, but i am glad he hasnt, i know what he has done is so wrong but i still dont want him to go

he has been my whole life for 11 years and i dont want to be alone

it might sound weak but it is how i feel

Pollycat

Tina
What's happening when he's in the house with you?

Are you talking to each other about the situation?

You said in an earlier post that you thought he was having second thoughts about leaving you.
Is that still the case?

You also said he was the 'bury his head in the sand' type of guy and that he wanted a few days to think about things.
Could it be that he doesn't want to be the one to move out, he wants you to throw him out?

I really do question his motives.
He could really be torn between staying with you and going to this other woman or he could be hedging his bets until he's sure that this other woman will take him in or he could be sorting his finances out.
You did say that he was going to open a bank account in his name and you wouldn't be able to pay the bills if he did this.
I think you have to be really careful about what this guy is up to.

EDIT:
Sorry, I meant to say you're not being weak, just treading in the same sad footsteps that many women have trodden before.

tinatony1

dont think he will change his mind, this other women has apparently asked to move in.

i just cant believe that the man i have been totally in love with for 11 years is now being like this, did i really have it so wrong, have i just been stupid in giving everything to him, i thought we had a great life, apart from the debts that is, but everything else i thought was the best.

he keeps telling me i have to move on like he has, but whats the point, i dont want anyone else, ever

Pollycat

Tina
I really feel for you in all this.

You probably didn't have it all wrong, sometimes people just change over time.
And of course you had no reason to think that he'd do this to you, so 'no, you haven't been stupid'.

To tell you to 'move on' is the most crass, unfeeling thing I've ever heard.
You probably don't think so right now, but you WILL move on.
But that has to be in your own time, you have to grieve for this relationship first.

And he might have moved on emotionally but he HASN'T bloody moved on literally - he's still in the house, hurting you even more.

Do think about going to the doctor, there's nothing wrong with asking for a little help to get you through this.

Take care

snipzychick

tinatony1 wrote: »

he keeps telling me i have to move on like he has

And how does he expect you to do that whilst he's still living in your home?

You need to get angry and throw this waste of oxygen out!

He is treating you really disrespectfully, it's time to take back the control of your own life.

You are worth so much more than this, you just don't realise it yet. Let him go, and leave space in your life for the real love of your life to come along, because he isn't it hun. The right man for you would never treat you this way.

Take care of yourself.

tinatony1

but i dont want him to go

i know i should but i cant face the fact that it is all over, my brain my head my heart wont let me