sex drive??

bryanb

iamana1ias wrote: »

Could you get rid of the kids for a weekend and splash out on whatever normally turns him on? Lock the doors and hide the keys, shave everything and then have a weekend of reaquainting yourselves?

Very difficult to shave the cat though.
Sorry, couldn't resist.

RoxieW

We have a w/end away planned for the end of nov and I know we will have an amazing time. We always do when we are away from the house/kids etc. We went out a couple of weeks back and it was sooooo lovely - no bedroom action though but I wasnt up for it at that time as one too many cocktails lol. When he makes the effort there is nothing and noone better. It just seems abit cant be bothered at the moment. He just seems so down and he actually looks physically knackered now - dark circles etc. Normally to cheer him up I would cook him dinner, we'd snuggle with a tub of icecream and watch a movie, followed by some bedroom action. All of the above is out of bounds It's like I dont know what he wants anymore.

londoner1998

RoxieW wrote: »

We have a w/end away planned for the end of nov and I know we will have an amazing time. We always do when we are away from the house/kids etc. We went out a couple of weeks back and it was sooooo lovely - no bedroom action though but I wasnt up for it at that time as one too many cocktails lol. When he makes the effort there is nothing and noone better. It just seems abit cant be bothered at the moment. He just seems so down and he actually looks physically knackered now - dark circles etc. Normally to cheer him up I would cook him dinner, we'd snuggle with a tub of icecream and watch a movie, followed by some bedroom action. All of the above is out of bounds It's like I dont know what he wants anymore.

By what you describ, he seems to have some mild form of depression going on., probably compounded by the extreme dieting, exercise routine and lack of sleep.. never understimate the effect all these things have on the brain chemistry and mood. There is no enjoyment in his life- why does he feel necessary to work so hard at the gym and his diet and has eliminated fun stuff form your dalily life? I take it he is too tired to have fun (I have been there myself), but that contribute to his low mood too. It is a very difficult situation, but I can only advice patience. Has he had any major life event- work problems, house move, bereavement, etc... ? You said he had been very hands on with the babies. That weekend away sounds like a good opportunity to relax and re-discover each other. We started by just going for a coffee after work. It is working wonders, as we don't get locked up in the house with everything that goes with it- laundry, cooking, bills, etc... step by step... at some point his mood will pick up a bit, but be aware it might have to get slightly worse before he starts going up again...

Paulinuk

Must have got a bit on the side but thats already been said,get some your self then lots of sites for it on the internet

Paulinuk

ooh forgot perhaps you should sneak under the bed clothes when he,s fast? asleep and give him a ?

RoxieW

paulinuk wrote: »

Must have got a bit on the side but thats already been said,get some your self then lots of sites for it on the internet

HE HAS NOT GOT A BIT ON THE SIDE! Blimey - how many times? He doesnt have time for a bit on the side. He goes to work (no females), he comes home and walks to the gym or goes to football. He comes back stinking with filthy kit (and he organises the matches). he's getting more muscular from the gym. apart from that he is at home and goes out probably a couple of times a year 'with the lads' or his brother and prob once a month up to our local to watch the footie with his mate or to a football match. When exactly would he be having an affair?
He's the father of my kids, the man I love and who I've been with for ten year - I'm not just gonna go 'get some myself'. And if I did I really would not need to go on a site on the internet for 'it'!

RoxieW

paulinuk wrote: »

ooh forgot perhaps you should sneak under the bed clothes when he,s fast? asleep and give him a ?

sigh........

RoxieW

londoner1998 wrote: »

By what you describ, he seems to have some mild form of depression going on., probably compounded by the extreme dieting, exercise routine and lack of sleep.. never understimate the effect all these things have on the brain chemistry and mood. There is no enjoyment in his life- why does he feel necessary to work so hard at the gym and his diet and has eliminated fun stuff form your dalily life? I take it he is too tired to have fun (I have been there myself), but that contribute to his low mood too. It is a very difficult situation, but I can only advice patience. Has he had any major life event- work problems, house move, bereavement, etc... ? You said he had been very hands on with the babies. That weekend away sounds like a good opportunity to relax and re-discover each other. We started by just going for a coffee after work. It is working wonders, as we don't get locked up in the house with everything that goes with it- laundry, cooking, bills, etc... step by step... at some point his mood will pick up a bit, but be aware it might have to get slightly worse before he starts going up again...

thanks londoner - and for all your helpful posts. i think you may be right but he would never admit as much but to me he does seen abit 'blue'.
anyway, yesterday we had a really good long talk about it. We didnt really come up with any 'answers' as such apart from that we need to keep making an effort to be affectionate with each other. i think he realised for the first time how much he has suddenly changed and that that is difficult for me to deal with. After that we had a lovely evening;)

mummy_Jay

Did he go to the doctors and get his iron levels etc checked?

With such a quick change in behavour it could be early warning signs of something, or it may just be fatigue but at least if he gets a check up it may help put your mind at rest. And if its just fatigue it may make him think more seriously about what he's doing to his body.

Any

RoxieW wrote: »

As you've prol gathered by the title this is quite personal but I'm wondering if anyone here has had the same issue??
I've been with my OH for 10 yrs and he's always had a very high sex drive - higher than me - and has been for the past 10 years pretty much constantly horny lol. However, all of a sudden, this has plummeted and I'm finding it quite confusing and not sure how to deal with it. We've gone from him being the instigator 80% of the time to things being the other way round. Thing is, I dont want to pressure him. If he doesnt want to then I dont want to push him. I'm just very confused by this sudden change.
He's changed quite a bit recently. He's always been a foodie like me but he's been on a massive health kick the past 6 months and has cut out all 'bad' foods and has lost 3 stone. He's also started going to the gym 4 times a week and has become more vain about his appearance/fashion etc. I want to be supportive but he's working hard to improve his body yet he's not interested in sex, is exhausted all the time and drinks these protein drinks that make his breath smell. I'm also trying to lose weight but he is like a dog with a bone and very strict with himself. He wasn't big before, btw, and I've always found him attractive.
One thing that sprang to mind what do men 'burn' testosterone in the gym? Could that be the reason he's no longer bothered in the bedroom? I'm hoping so because Im starting to turn it in on myself and worry about my appearance. It's just been so sudden I cant quite get my head around it - anyone else experience such a sudden change in their man?

Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread, but I wanted to say:
My best friend is married to professional sportsman and so is her MIL. Recently we had few glasses of wine and girly chat and I was astonished to find that their OHs have got great bodies (you know, six pack and all that), but they don't perform much in the bedroom department due to constant exhaustion!

My OH doesn't have a great body (but not bad either:D) and the most excercise he has done in the past week for example was to walk to the pub on the hill:rotfl:, but I can tell you his sex drive is seriously exhausting me!!

So I do think that they might burn testosteron in the gym..