sex drive??

red_devil

RoxieW wrote: »

it's honestly not the lack of sex that bothers me. It's the change. For the past ten years he's been very highly sexed, he would want sex every night and i always knew that if i was up for it he was. he would also stay up later and take more pleasure in food. if i'd have had to sum up his interests in 3 words sex, food and football would be it! that was often not ideal - he was constantly like a randy teenager, he would always try to twist my arm to stop up later and eating a pack of biccies in one go is not great health wise lol! but that was him. that's how he's been for the past ten years. its almost like his personality has changed over night and that is what I;m finding difficult. Some of the things he says now I can hardly believe its him. I guess i'm finding it hard to relate to him now as i feel like i dont know him - he's not predictable any more and it makes me feel on shaky ground - like i'm tiptoing around him.

perhaps he over did it every night! When couples say they are bored with their sex life why dont they slow down abit then it will be more special. This is just a general observation btw.

[Deleted User]

RoxieW i've pm'd you! xx

londoner1998

RoxieW wrote: »

thank you, I will try these supplements. As for sex in the mornings, he is up for that but as one of us is up each morning with the baby at 5 or 6am we just dont get the opportunity unfortunately.

You need to make some time then. After ten years, things are not as spontaneous are they once were, that's natural, but you cant let the fact that you have cildren get in the way... fair enough, not every day, but can't you try to set the alarm 15 min earlier one morning and surprise him :D?? Give yourself the chance, it is worth it.

I suffered form incredible fatigue while goign through a bereavement and harassememht at work and like your OH, couldn't get up from bed and was always tired and snappy... I tried magnesium supplements and it s was amazing what a different it made. Apparently it works on the tranfer sof energy between the cells and the bloodstream... people get depelted of magnesium if they go through prolongued periods of physical or emotional stress. It is well worth trying it...H&B, is a good place to get them...

Gavin83

red_devil wrote: »

I think generally people put too much emphasis on sex in a relatioship surely the most important thing is that you get on, your comfortable,are friends etc etc and sex is a bonus isnt it? How many relationships are just based on sex alone? Or the sex was good but they couldnt get on when it came down to the nitty gritty couldnt live together!

How many couples split up they may have had a good sex life but they arent together 10/20 years down the line!

Its not possible to find everything you want always from one person and no relationship is perfect but if you care for each other and are enjoying a ltr then you have got more than alot.

Relationships are hard work but sex isnt the be all and end all! When people say yes but sex is a big part of the relationship so is finding someone you can get on with and gel with and you can live with day in day out!

It will be nigh on impossible to find perfection all the time!

Sex is important to me. If I couldn't get on with someone or our sex life was poor, and neither could be fixed I would most likely end the relationship. I do agree that getting on with someone and having a connection is the most important thing in a long term relationship, but I'd still consider sex important enough to end a relationship over. We all have our priorities and requirements when it comes to relationships, something you may consider essential I couldn't care less about and vice versa.

To be blunt, if sex didn't exist I don't really see the point of relationships, I'd rather spend my life with a man.

Minxy_Bella

Gavin83 wrote: »

Sex is important to me. If I couldn't get on with someone or our sex life was poor, and neither could be fixed I would most likely end the relationship. I do agree that getting on with someone and having a connection is the most important thing in a long term relationship, but I'd still consider sex important enough to end a relationship over. We all have our priorities and requirements when it comes to relationships, something you may consider essential I couldn't care less about and vice versa.

To be blunt, if sex didn't exist I don't really see the point of relationships, I'd rather spend my life with a man.

My 68 year old mum was once sitting in a car on a cliff top, with a female friend, admiring the view. Her friend mused that if she knew that sex with her husband would carry on until they were 80, then she'd want to drive over the cliff.

My mother retorted that if she knew she wouldn't be having sex in her 80s, then she'd be going over too!

Like mother, like daughter

galvanizersbaby

londoner1998 wrote: »

You need to make some time then. After ten years, things are not as spontaneous are they once were, that's natural, but you cant let the fact that you have cildren get in the way... fair enough, not every day, but can't you try to set the alarm 15 min earlier one morning and surprise him :D?? Give yourself the chance, it is worth it.

I suffered form incredible fatigue while goign through a bereavement and harassememht at work and like your OH, couldn't get up from bed and was always tired and snappy... I tried magnesium supplements and it s was amazing what a different it made. Apparently it works on the tranfer sof energy between the cells and the bloodstream... people get depelted of magnesium if they go through prolongued periods of physical or emotional stress. It is well worth trying it...H&B, is a good place to get them...

OP has a very young baby who is probably still not sleeping through the night - set her alarm 15 mins earlier? :rolleyes: jeez it would probably be bliss for the poor woman to wake up to the sound of an alarm clock - she probably does not need one!

Hopefully hubby's sex drive going off the boil is a temporary thing and if anything perhaps he should be making the effort with her for a change rather than his prioritising his punishing fitness regime not the other way round.

Sorry Roxy but from reading your other threads I really don't think that you need this extra stress right now!

galvanizersbaby

Gavin83 wrote: »

Sex is important to me. If I couldn't get on with someone or our sex life was poor, and neither could be fixed I would most likely end the relationship. I do agree that getting on with someone and having a connection is the most important thing in a long term relationship, but I'd still consider sex important enough to end a relationship over. We all have our priorities and requirements when it comes to relationships, something you may consider essential I couldn't care less about and vice versa.

To be blunt, if sex didn't exist I don't really see the point of relationships, I'd rather spend my life with a man.

:rotfl:You couldn't have been much more truthful there! - made me chuckle!

londoner1998

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

OP has a very young baby who is probably still not sleeping through the night - set her alarm 15 mins earlier? :rolleyes: jeez it would probably be bliss for the poor woman to wake up to the sound of an alarm clock - she probably does not need one!

Hopefully hubby's sex drive going off the boil is a temporary thing and if anything perhaps he should be making the effort with her for a change rather than his prioritising his punishing fitness regime not the other way round.

Sorry Roxy but from reading your other threads I really don't think that you need this extra stress right now!

Fair enough , I understand children are tiring, but OP is clearly suffering from lack of intimacy with her OH. I suggested getting up a bit earlier to make the most of him being up for it in the morning...I didn't say do it every day, I said, may be once a week, but that can be once every three weeks... I can easily put myslef in the OH's position and to be honest, when I have been at my lowest, it was a matter of catching me when I was there 'up for it'- typically after lunch, when I was relaxed and satisfied ...I know, not very practical in the week,:rolleyes: but feasible in the weekend...and with the result that once you get there and do it once, you want more and it becomes a bit easier...these things need to be worked at , on both sides, I agree, but he seems to be physically exhausted so it is a matter of starting by working around it

RoxieW

thanks galvaniserbaby - and no, I havent needed an alarm clock since I had my first child 7 years ago lol.
I do see you point though london and perhaps if we were getting up at a normal time it would be feasible but when baby wakes at 5am we're both knackered and i cant see either of us wanting to get up earlier for hanky panky - plus I'd be on edge waiting for little one to wake up and you can guarantee he would at the worst moment! weekends are out of the question too as obv we have the kids around. Then one or the other of us is at the gym until 9pm..... The only time we have is just before bed really. I am soooo looking forward to our weekend away - I cant tell you!
gavin- this was exactly my OH's opinion previously. He always made a big thing of how important sex was to him and that if that goes off the boil then a relationship goes off the boil. like i said previously I once got an email after a 3 day dry spell very sternly and seriously telling me that it was not acceptable lol. So for him to now not have the interest is like he has been replaced by someone else!

jamesey07

minxy_bella i've been told many times that i am a very charming chap by many females so thanks for noticing my charm also