sex drive??

galvanizersbaby

londoner1998 wrote: »

Fair enough , I understand children are tiring, but OP is clearly suffering from lack of intimacy with her OH. I suggested getting up a bit earlier to make the most of him being up for it in the morning...I didn't say do it every day, I said, may be once a week, but that can be once every three weeks... I can easily put myslef in the OH's position and to be honest, when I have been at my lowest, it was a matter of catching me when I was there 'up for it'- typically after lunch, when I was relaxed and satisfied ...I know, not very practical in the week,:rolleyes: but feasible in the weekend...and with the result that once you get there and do it once, you want more and it becomes a bit easier...these things need to be worked at , on both sides, I agree, but he seems to be physically exhausted so it is a matter of starting by working around it

I see what your saying Londoner but I rather think you are missing the point re Roxy having the choice/option/opportunity to get up earlier - I can only assume you haven't previously had the experience of having a new baby in the house.

RoxieW

hi all -just wanted to give abit of an update really. since our talk on monday things have been alot better. we're both making the effort and have been closer as a result (and yes, we have had sex several times - twice instigated by me and once by him). I just hope he doesnt feel pressurised in any way because i have made an issue out of it but the time he instigated was out of the blue (ie not as a result of any 'hinting' from me) so am hoping that thats not the case. I've also bought him some mens health supplements so am hoping that that may help with the tiredness - and - the best bit - baby has slept until at least 7 am every day this week!! so it feels like things are coming back together so to speak and I just have to adjust to the fact that we may have a different dymanic. In fact, as I am getting used to it I would even say that it is working better for me because I am actually having the chance to get 'horny' between sessions and actually want for myself/look forward to sex instead of when it was everyday and predictable it was more about fulfilling his needs sometimes rather than my own. All in all am feeling in a good place at the minute so hoping it continues!
Oh and for some reason I feel the need to justify myself to jamesey who seems to have me down as a bit of a fat minger - I not, honestly. I've worked hard at the gym to get back to a size 12 after baby (and also worked hard on the chocs to retain some curves!). I cant be that unattractive as I'm never short of propositioners - not that I would ever take any of them up on it. As far as I'm concerned my hubby is my man and I'm his girl. I would be devastated though if that was the reason!
Anyway, hopefully we are getting back on track and am looking forward to a fab weekend. have a good one guys and thank you for all of your help and kind/constructive comments xxx

jamesey07

roxy i never once called u a fat minger, i've never ever saw a picture of you so how could i say that, and if u can show me where i said that then i'll be dammed, i said that sometimes the way a womans belly goes once she has had a baby can be off putting for men, and i also said i know it's not the womans fault for the belly going like this, and i also said in the message don't take no offence as i didn't mean any and was only saying that maybe that was a POSSIBLE reason why he didn't wanna have sex, was only trying to be helpful as i know a lot of guys think the same sometimes once there woman has had a child and the tummy goes that way, i also know the tummy doesn't stay like that and with a bit of effort the female can get it looking better and as u say you r doing that with work at the gym so well done

fletch3163

Hi there

Not got anything wise to say actually, but for what it's worth I'm sure it's not an affair, and he sounds lovely, your husband.

A lot of what you describe sounds like both my husband and me when we quit smoking actually. For the longest time, for me especially, it was like there was absolutely nothing to look forward to. I genuinely could not be bothered with anything. It took me just over 5 months to feel anywhere near normal. Not a thin person before but the weight I gained? EEEK. Plus, when I quit smoking I moved the addiction to drinking. Now, thankfully I've kicked that too but I love sweeties now (when before it didn't bother me). Am now 3 years clean of fags and 2 of booze. Fruit pastilles however? :eek:

What if it is a chemical imbalance your husband has? A visit to the Dr could help. Or, why don't you Google the symptoms?

All am saying is the the mind and body do things we don't understand, and it's certainly not always a conscious thing. Before quitting smoking I would have definitely said everything was deliberate but I know better now.

Good luck