sex drive??

Savvy_Sue

How frustrating for you, in every sense!

Only suggestion I can make when he backs out of cuddles by saying "No chance" was that you weren't aiming for full sex, just a quick kiss or cuddle.

Let's hope the GP probes a bit and that he's honest.

iamana1ias

Don't get mad, get even.

Lay next to him in bed and pleasure yourself. Let him catch you doing it at odd times of the day. If he complains tell him that he's not interested in pleasuring you so you're taking matters into your own hands.

I bet he won't abstain much longer

RoxieW

he just seems so miserable - he's barely speaking to me at the mo. i really want to cheer him up but nothing seems to do the trick. i suggested watching a movie together n he snapped about wasting money - so i put one in off sky n he didnt want to watch with me. he played his game then fell asleep on the other sofa.

iamana1ias

Can you spend more time away from him? Maybe a weekend away with the girls will make him miss you

RoxieW

one of the probs at the minute is that we spend alot of time apart. Most evenings either he's at the gym or I am -or I'm out witht he girls and he's a football. I think more quality time would be good but he just doesnt seem interested

Reggie_Rebel

Sounds like you aren't actually a couple anymore, just two adults who happen to live in the same house.

It might be an idea to have at least a couple of nights in, even if it's only vegging on the sofa.

bryanb

The last person to realise that someone is having an affair is normally the other half of the relationship. Mainly because they don't want it to be true. Ask a mutual friend to level with you is the best advice I can offer.
Did you see how many thanked post 2?

iamana1ias

Could you get rid of the kids for a weekend and splash out on whatever normally turns him on? Lock the doors and hide the keys, shave everything and then have a weekend of reaquainting yourselves?

londoner1998

Reggie_Rebel wrote: »

Sounds like you aren't actually a couple anymore, just two adults who happen to live in the same house.

It might be an idea to have at least a couple of nights in, even if it's only vegging on the sofa.

How frustrating and infurating for you... I agree with the quote above. You need to somehow start spending time together- the happier you are out of bed the easier it will be to rekindle your romance... I am not sure how I would approach this, but I think he needs to understand this is not fair on you and all you want to do is to help. Can't he change his gym routine once a week (and you do the same) to go for a coffee/(healthy) meal/movie/walk/whatever...together???

Failig that I think you need to sit down with him and explain that if you want your relationship to go on, you need to address this and start spending time as a couple. Head on. I did this a few weeks ago , not as an ultimatum, but as a declaration that i coudln't carry on fighting anymore and even mentioned counselling to my OH and guess what- I don't know if he is seeing a counsellor, but his behaviour has improved dramatically- he is sweet, supportive and doesn't moan at things he used to.. he even bought me a set of new towels (he says i love "towels and sheets'... and used to be dismissive of it...not any more)... and I saw the Employee Assistance Sceme card in his wallet... you know, free number and access to a counsellor. I am still tired and events have got in the way to get my libido back to normal levels (specially after a run with an angry police officer yesterday...:eek:)- his reaction was to be the sweetest man ever, and hug me in bed for the whole night...that's what I think you both need- emotional closeness...
I think honesty is always the best policy. Good luck

londoner1998

iamana1ias wrote: »

Could you get rid of the kids for a weekend and splash out on whatever normally turns him on? Lock the doors and hide the keys, shave everything and then have a weekend of reaquainting yourselves?

Good advice here too... I have done that and it works...:D:D:D