sex drive??

RoxieW

Lydia82 wrote: »

Actually, seeing the doctor probably isn't such a bad thing. If he's feeling down/stressed about something he may want to talk about it to someone who isn't involved, and if it's a medical issue they should be able to work together to get it solved.

If it's not a mental or physiological thing and it's just your DH not wanting sex then surely that's a good thing, might not be great for you but you married him and sometimes people go though periods in their lives when sex isn't at the forefront of their minds.

Just relax, let him come to you when he's ready and perhaps keep yourself ticking over if that's what you need

For the record I don't think he's having an affair, this board seems obsessed with telling everyone that they themselves are in the perfect marriage and everyone else should get divorced! I think a lot of problems can be worked out before it gets to that stage, it just seems the easy way out.

It doesnt bother me - I always had a lower sex drive anyway - but it is such a drastic change that it startled me and I wasnt sure how to deal with it. Should I keep instigating? Wait for him to come to me??

Mme.Hibou

I'd probably just leave it, let him know you're ready when he is and leave it at that. Then you both know there's no pressure from either side.

jenhug

I am a gym widow to a non-steroid taking, training husband!
He sounds like he needs some support with his nutritional needs, and is cream crackered after putting in his best efforts at the gym!

Is he taking joint supplements to protect his joints?

southernscouser

I don't have a lot of advice other than to say taking protein shakes doesn't have any known side effects.

Does he take any vitamin supplements? Even with a healthy balanced diet, it's difficult to ensure your body gets the required vitamins through food alone when working out as lots are lost through exercise.

And, if it is steroids, has his back become spotty at all? This is often a tell tale sign.

If he's asked you what the reactions were from here then it would seem he doesn't seem to be avoiding/hiding anything. :undecided

I'd be inclined to get checked out by the doctor.

Savvy_Sue

RoxieW wrote: »

He's assured me that he's not having an affair, that he's not secretly gay (lol), that he still finds me attractive, that he's not doing drugs but other then that he is as clueless as me.

Why are men so resistant to going to see their GP about any health problems? He's exhausted and he has no sex drive - it's a problem!

iamana1ias

RoxieW wrote: »

The pregnancy issue may be a point as we definately want this to be our last baby and although OH dotes on baby now he would have been happy to stop at two - in fact sometimes I think he'd be happy not to have kids at all (tongue in cheek!). But it is funny how he was his normal self after i had baby and wouldnt leave me alone even when we were at our tiredest, most shell shcoked and finding the baby the hardest work ( and me not looking too great either!) but all that has settled down now :

finally!! Did you breastfeed your baby? Have you recently stopped? If so you are probably fertile again and somewhere in his subconscious that worries him, coil or no coil. Could the timing fit with that too?

Dumbledore55

Have you thought it might be the big 30 birthday looming in the near future. I know several people who have gone on mad fitness campaigns in the lead up to 'big' birthdays and have literally gone in to a depression about leaving their 20's or 30's.

To me it's just a number but many want to be seen as still fit at 30 or 40 etc.

RoxieW

Hi guys - well i'm back and pretty much at my wits end. OH isnt having an affair i'm sure but I'm still finding these changes hard to deal with. This new fitness regime leaves him permanently tired, aching, not interested in the bedroom dept, snappy, critical over every little thing i do or dont do, not interested in food and basically just not much fun. I'd rather he was bigger then all this but I cant say that to him as he just says I'm unsupportive like i'm trying to corrupt him or something. It's not just the sex but its the lack of physical closeness as he's asleep before his head hits the pillow - no time for cuddles or kisses. if I try to kiss him I get a 'you've got no chance'. I want to be supportive but i cant carry on with this indefinitely. I also cant help but feel abit annoyed as when I've been exhausted from getting up all night with the baby he would still pester and pester. In fact, once I got a long email because we hadnt had sex for 3 days saying that he wasnt happy and we needed to do something about it as it is a big part of a relationship for him etc etc. I'm wary of making him feel how I often felt - pressured - so am wary of making a whole big issue of this. It's not just the sex though - its as if his personality has changed! I feel like he has completely changed after being a 'steady eddy' for the past 10 yrs and it's completely thrown me!

RoxieW

Also, he's going to the drs tonight over something else but he wont mention this. I said to just mention his tiredness but he said he's not always tired and if he is its cos he's taking turns getting up with the baby and if I'm not happy I should do all the getting up then. Very defensive.

galvanizersbaby

RoxieW wrote: »

Also, he's going to the drs tonight over something else but he wont mention this. I said to just mention his tiredness but he said he's not always tired and if he is its cos he's taking turns getting up with the baby and if I'm not happy I should do all the getting up then. Very defensive.

Roxie - just shooting from the hip here and feel free to ignore but by the sounds of all the excessive exercise fitness regime and the obsessive diet following - also the defenceness when questioned it sounds similar behaviour to somebody suffering from some sort of eating disorder of some kind (having experienced this myself)