sex drive??

ajmoney

I have sent you a PM

tori.k

RoxieW wrote: »

Hi guys - well i'm back and pretty much at my wits end. OH isnt having an affair i'm sure but I'm still finding these changes hard to deal with. This new fitness regime leaves him permanently tired, aching, not interested in the bedroom dept, snappy, critical over every little thing i do or dont do, not interested in food and basically just not much fun. I'd rather he was bigger then all this but I cant say that to him as he just says I'm unsupportive like i'm trying to corrupt him or something. It's not just the sex but its the lack of physical closeness as he's asleep before his head hits the pillow - no time for cuddles or kisses. if I try to kiss him I get a 'you've got no chance'. I want to be supportive but i cant carry on with this indefinitely. I also cant help but feel abit annoyed as when I've been exhausted from getting up all night with the baby he would still pester and pester. In fact, once I got a long email because we hadnt had sex for 3 days saying that he wasnt happy and we needed to do something about it as it is a big part of a relationship for him etc etc. I'm wary of making him feel how I often felt - pressured - so am wary of making a whole big issue of this. It's not just the sex though - its as if his personality has changed! I feel like he has completely changed after being a 'steady eddy' for the past 10 yrs and it's completely thrown me!

You could have been talking about my hubby 10 yrs ago, he was diagnosed with diabetes dispite being fit,

RoxieW

thank you - a couple of things to think about. the difficulty is trying to get him to the dr's. typical man. he's only just been for something that has bothered him for about a year now - an allergy. i know it'll b difficult to persuade him to get checked ou.

windswept

He's probably low on zinc and other essential vitamis and minerals if he's working out and is dieting excessively.
I can recommend Holland and Barrett men's health suplement , it has zinc, which is is very important for testosterone production, it also has a small amount of ginseng which is a good stress adaptogen and known libido booster.
You could also try him with horny goat weed or some other natural libido stimulant but it sounds like his main problem is exhaustion.
Is he getting normal nightly reflex erections in his sleep? Most men have 2 - 4 a night when in REM sleep. If not then he needs his testosterone levels checked asap.
Is anything making him horny at the moment?
One last thought, testosterone is at it's peak in a man's body when he wakes - is he not up for sex in a morning after a good night's sleep?
For what it's worth I think he's being very selfish - it doesn't sound like he was very understanding or supportive of you having an understandable low libido after giving birth.

jamesey07

u say it's an all male gym, how do you know he's not cheating with another man? only messing, sometimes the gym does really tire you out, i use to be there all the time and was losing prob to much weight, though i have to say that when it came to the bedroom i was always more highly sexed despite being tired from all the workouts, u say u have just had another baby? don't mean to be rude r nothing but sometimes even the fella won't say but that "baby fat" can be off putting, i remember when i was with someone who had a child when having sex every time i saw her belly it put me off, i know it wasn't her fault as that's the price of bringing a child into the world, good luck and hopefully things will work themselves out soon

galvanizersbaby

jamesey07 wrote: »

u say it's an all male gym, how do you know he's not cheating with another man? only messing, sometimes the gym does really tire you out, i use to be there all the time and was losing prob to much weight, though i have to say that when it came to the bedroom i was always more highly sexed despite being tired from all the workouts, u say u have just had another baby? don't mean to be rude r nothing but sometimes even the fella won't say but that "baby fat" can be off putting,i remember when i was with someone who had a child when having sex every time i saw her belly it put me off, i know it wasn't her fault as that's the price of bringing a child into the world, good luck and hopefully things will work themselves out soon

Nicely put Jamesey - bet that helpful input has cheered the OP up no end - just what she needed - assume you haven't read any of her previous posts then :rolleyes:

jamesey07

i don't mean it to be rude r nothing, i just say things that sometimes other people r affraid to say even though they r thinking them, i haven't read all the posts but some of them.

Mme.Hibou

James, have you been told to ration your vowels?

Paulinuk

would you like my phone number[joke?]

jamesey07

what u mean lydia? why would i be having to ration my vowels?