Would you break the law to protect your child?

bandraoi

Paparika wrote: »

oh for gods sake just keep pestering the police until they take notice, contact the press if you need to, the father 'the big i am' has let you think he can get away with anything, for all you know he could be part of a peado ring, call childline call them all, shout louder than him, yes the DD/GD will be questioned, but let this carry on and that 13 year old is going to get in trouble, the finger will be pointed at him when he has his own issues, so get off these forums dithering and start shouting the loudest.

Seriously what good will any of that do?
There is no case there, that's why the police aren't interested.
All that there is to go on is the word of a 7 year old girl, talking about an incident two years ago which had no witnesses. The 7 year old girls word is being reported by a mother and a grandmother involved in a custody/contact battle with the father in who's care it happened. There is absolutely nothing to build a case on so screaming and shouting unfortunately won't do a damn thing except to stress the girl at the centre of this out.

It needs to be quiet and firmly put on record, somehow or somewhere with the police, and then left.

Paparika

bandraoi wrote: »

Seriously what good will any of that do?
There is no case there, that's why the police aren't interested.
All that there is to go on is the word of a 7 year old girl, talking about an incident two years ago which had no witnesses. The 7 year old girls word is being reported by a mother and a grandmother involved in a custody/contact battle with the father in who's care it happened. There is absolutely nothing to build a case on so screaming and shouting unfortunately won't do a damn thing except to stress the girl at the centre of this out.

It needs to be quiet and firmly put on record, somehow or somewhere with the police, and then left.

Something like this can't be brushed under the carpet, this isn't the 1970's, we are supposed to protect our children, the little girl might be telling the truth or she might be lying and its not for us to say, its the authorities that should be helping to protect her too.


Because of the work i have done i have had to be told of how easy it is to be 'groomed' believe me it is very very easy. It is very easy to prepare a child for the nasties ahead and some nasty people do use children to aid this, they can and will wait years for the child to be at the right age for them, this isn't bullcarp this is true and factual, i wouldn't of believed it my self until i had to be taught all this in my job, shouting and screaming for your voice to be heard is what needs to be done now

xmaslolly76

So bandraoi if your daughter came home and told you this had been going on you yourself would not be shouting from the rooftops for something to be done about it. You would be quite happy for the child to go back into a situation that could potentially be dangerous to her and other children.

Im sorry but it would appear that the softly softly approach has not worked and no one is listening to the concerns of the daughter or the grand mother and something needs to be done right now!!

GO to the police yes it will may stress the child out for a short period of time whilst she has to relive what happened to her but it will be alot less than her having to spend time around a youth who has sexually abused her and frightens her every two weeks for the next god knows how many years. This young lad needs help NOW or who knows what he will be capable of in a few years times especially if he thinks he has gotten away with his sickening acts.

bandraoi

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

So bandraoi if your daughter came home and told you this had been going on you yourself would not be shouting from the rooftops for something to be done about it.

I would be shouting from the rooftops if there was any possibility it would do some good, when there is no possibility of that, I would cut my losses and focus my efforts on what could produce results.

Shouting from the rooftops may just make the OP look like she has a serious dose of the crazies and backfire immensely.

You would be quite happy for the child to go back into a situation that could potentially be dangerous to her and other children.

I didn't say that, I didn't even imply that, in fact in a previous post I pointed out to the OP that she has the perfect get out clause already and does not need to send her daughter into that situation again. She has been told that her daughter should only have contact if it is certain that the boy will not be present. Since the contact is in Scotland, she can use that to justify years of doubts and avoidance.

Im sorry but it would appear that the softly softly approach has not worked and no one is listening to the concerns of the daughter or the grand mother and something needs to be done right now!!

There is nothing that can be done about the past. It has happened and cannot be changed. Only the future can be changed. There is no legal case to be made out of what has already happened, there is no evidence. It's time to try to record it and move on to what can happen next.

xmaslolly76

But nothing is being done it has been recorded and no one is taking a blind bit of notice of it apart from saying the lad is not to be left alone with the child, now on paper that sounds resonable but in real life how long do you think that will continue for especially with a father who doesnt seem to give a damn. I give him a month before he has something important to do and will only be gone for 5 minutes and that 5 minutes is all it will take to ruin the childs future forever. There may not be any evidence but so don't thousands of other cases that come forward every day you hear about abuse cases decades after the fact and they still manage to get a conviction or at least something done to prevent the abuser getting near new victims. Even if it doesnt end up in a conviction a small amount of publicity can go along way in keeping this lad away from other potential victims and even making the father wake up to reality and do something about the lad.

Penny-Pincher!!

I didnt say your GD was touched, I said "sexually assaulted"...which she was! Exposure or asking a young minor to touch him in a sexual way is a sexual assault.

None of this is really making much sense to me. If it was my DD, I would with NO doubt kick up such a fuss that they would have to do something.

Just because there is no evidence, doesnt mean it hasnt happened and I really cant see the police saying anything like this to you.

I apologise if I sound harsh, but you are so calm about it!

PP
xx

1sue23

We are far from calm my daughter has not slept because of the worry ,there is an incident number and it is logged with the police but my granddaughter when asked about it will say I do not want to talk about it and changes the subject ,we know it happened 5 year old do not make things up like this ,and after it happened when she returned home she was bed wetting ,would not be alone in the toilet and was wanting to use the toilet often sometimes every 10 mins ,she became very clingy and tearful and only wanted to sleep with her mother,at the time we just thought she was unsettled from being away from home it never crossed our minds there could be other reasons ,she only told us when she was due to go back 3 months later ,we were washing up and she told me she wanted to tell me a secret ,we were shocked to say the least we contacted the father to let him know she would not be going to Scotland and we went to social services, we also contacted social services in Scotland but the boy was not even spoken to ,his father then said we had made it up to stop contact which was far from the truth ,ever since then he has tried every thing to allow contact in Scotland even when we offered him our own home here because he claims he can not afford to stay overnight here ,but no contact in Scotland is all he wants .
It is so frustrating because we have never once denied him access and we feel that my granddaughter has more protection here and will be safer,, in my view Scotland is a long way to go for a 7 year old child and if anything was to happen it would take awhile for us to get there to help her .

*Louise*

I am in shock about the Barrister - you need a different one, that one doesn't seem to realise who they are supposed to be fighting for. :mad:

Something else that disturbs me is the fact this boy is being being beaten/belted by his dad in front of your daughter.

She may be his little princess for now but I would be asking myself, once she gets a little older.....how is he going to discipline her then??

I wouldn't trust him an inch with my baby girl, and would be putting in for supervised access, even at a contact centre - after reporting the boy's beatings to Social Services (can't believe they aren't more involved aftetr all the bad press they have been getting!)

BallandChain

Is the father of the girl the biological father of the boy? The young girl needs to be protected and I would not let her go to her father's with A) the boy still being there and father is in denial the sexual assault took place and C) the father beats up the boy. I wouldn't care if I was breaking the law, I just would not risk my child going through only God knows what. (As if what she has been through hasn't been enough.) A new lawyer as suggested on this thread will be the way to go and in the mean time I would just stall over the visits.

If I found Social Services and other authorities had not acted in the best interest of my child I definitely would have no choice but to break the law by not allowing daughter/granddaughter to visit.

Can I just add something as there has been a lot of mention about the police. Now I know this happened to me nearly 30 years ago and I know this is slightly different, but I wanted to share. The neighbour next door used to wait until me and my siblings were coming home from school. There was a path that ran down the side of our house and his. He'd peer from behind the side of his back door dressed in women's underwear. It scared us to death. This went on for months. We told our parents, police were called. Police went to see this neighbour. They came back and said the neighbour denied doing such a thing. However, the police did have his police record and saw that he had been arrested for indecent exposure previously.

What happened? Nothing! The police said until an adult saw him doing this they couldn't take it further, despite the fact the neighbour already had a record. Nice.

ETA: Sorry I do not have anything in the way of legal advice to help but just wanted to lend my support.

1sue23

She may be his little princess for now but I would be asking myself, once she gets a little older.....how is he going to discipline her then??

We did ask this question and we were told "The father is in a difficult situation and his son is very difficult and a challenging child."so it seems as if it is acceptable to punish children in this way ,we have never hit our granddaughter but may be we are wrong, as I have said the boy has been failed also by social services and the police they are well aware of the belt incident as it was reported because of the bruising on his back ,but nothing was done .