Mum's being pushed into making a will

margaretclare

I agree both with chesky369 and with monkey spank.

Tiger_greeneyes

margaretclare wrote: »

I agree both with chesky369 and with monkey spank.

So do I

The house is going to my stepbrother and whatever is left over is to be split five ways, me, my brother and my stepbrothers three children. I said I didn't want my share and it was to go to my brother's two children - my Mum's own grandchildren.

I'm seriously ****** off with it all

calleyw

dzug1 wrote: »

Problem is that an Attorney can do nothing about a will - it's outside his/her powers. He's not even entitled to see it.

And not being able to run ones own affairs is not an absolute - you may be able to do so some of the time. There's plenty of room for a lengthy law suit on whether the will was valid or not which could eat up much ofthe estate in fees.

There's also the problem that the step brother has the right to object to the PoA being granted.

A good thought - but beset with problems.

So you are telling me if you have POV in place because someone is not capable of running there own affairs because they really don't understand it. That signing of the will that they don't understand is legal and not null and void if it is made after a POV was put in place. That makes no sense what so ever.

So you are telling me if my husband due to his stroke was no longer able to conduct his own affairs and I had POV. His daughter could take her dad out for the day and pop in to solictors and get him to sign a new will even though he was not capable of understanding the implications and that stands by law

And under what rights does the stepbrother have to object to POV having looked their is nothing that I can see that he can object to. The OP is not bankrupt etc

Also could you point in the direct of POV and wills. As I would love to read around this subject. It would also be nice for you to give your status e.g are solictor or is it just hersay that you base your answer on.

Yours

Calley

calleyw

Tiger_greeneyes wrote: »

I understand my stepbrother is going to punch me next time we meet. Nice. I'm female, disabled and have put my whole life on hold to care for his dad and my Mum.

On the drink driving thing, I'm going to contact Crime Stoppers as suggested. It's not a personal vendetta (although I despise him) it's the right thing to do. If he involved someone in an accident then I wouldn't want it on my conscience.

Tiger,

Me personally I would say bring it on. If my step brother wanted to punch me then I would let him then have him arrested for assault.

And then it can all be dragged about the him hassling your mother to make a will in his favour.

Would Social Services be able to help? As I feel that you mum is very vulnerable at this moment.

Situations like this sadden me. And with out trying to be rude partly this is your mothers doing. She never stood up to your stepdad/brother. If your stepdad wanted his half of his estate to go to his son then he should have written a will. Tough he did not.

But then nothing is fair. You mum could spend a few thousand on a lottery tickets or the 3.30 at newmarket :rotfl:

All the best.

Yours

Calley

Money_maker

I cant understand how you can be your mothers carer yet an outsider? Is there more to this?

chesky369

....I feel that you mum is very vulnerable at this moment. .....

I think mum is playing games, as being vulnerable does not actually square with :

"In the last few weeks, Mum's bought herself a load of new things - four digital phones (one for each room), a new microwave/combi oven/grill, crock pot, toaster and a load of new clothes. She's having a whale of a time. She wants a new tv too - I'm taking her to look at some soon. She's also thinking of buying a mobility scooter. She wants new furnishings when she moves - "

Tiger_greeneyes

Money_maker wrote: »

I cant understand how you can be your mothers carer yet an outsider? Is there more to this?

No. Just what I've said in various posts on this thread.

Both my stepbrother and his wife's mums died intestate and their estate went to their 2nd husbands. My stepbrother and his wife now want to make sure they get what should be mine and my brothers because "they've been let down before".

Ironically, my Mum's father remarried after my nan died and he left the house to his wife - my Mum's fully aware of the feelings this is causing me to have. She admitted that when it happened to her, it made her feel like a piece of nothing, not cared for etc, yet she's still adamant she's doing it to me and my brother. At least my grandfather was married to the woman he left his estate to - my Mum's just married into the stepfamily.

Tiger_greeneyes

chesky369 wrote: »

....I feel that you mum is very vulnerable at this moment. .....

I think mum is playing games, as being vulnerable does not actually square with :

"In the last few weeks, Mum's bought herself a load of new things - four digital phones (one for each room), a new microwave/combi oven/grill, crock pot, toaster and a load of new clothes. She's having a whale of a time. She wants a new tv too - I'm taking her to look at some soon. She's also thinking of buying a mobility scooter. She wants new furnishings when she moves - "

She is vulnerable - if she was thinking straight then I guess this thread wouldn't exist

As for the gameplaying, I've said this to her a few times. I feel like I'm being ambushed. For example, Mum asked me to call my stepbrother regarding the time he had booked the funeral director to visit - it clashed with Mum's hospital appointment. He shouted at me (like it was my fault ) and behaved like a five-year-old... Mum told me she thinks my stepbrother has swiped a few thousand pounds that was hidden around the house - "it couldn't have been anyone else because his dad would have told him where it was - and nobody else has been here" and "we gave stepbrother a huge sum of money to look after a few years ago but he won't give us a bank statement, I think he's spent it" - I'm raging about this by now, mentioning the police, trying to help sort everything out for her to stop her from worrying. Mum then tells stepbrother what a ****** I think he is. Then she tells me how much he hates me because I'm "over emotional" (his excuse for shouting at me - might have known it was my fault :rolleyes:).

Bear in mind that my stepbrother has never once looked me in the eye or spoken to me - I've known him 32 years.

I don't do and never have done mind games

chesky369

I think you need to step back from the situation. Your mother is manipulating both you and your step brother. You say you are her carer but that you are disabled and probably need some care yourself. Do you live with your mother - cannot remember now if you said before. It strikes me you should talk about the situation with friends or partner. And are you still close to your brother?

Sometimes, I hate families.

Savvy_Sue

You may not do mind games, but it sounds as if others do.

Unless there's a good reason for mum not making phone calls herself, I'd let her make her own calls. Tell her you're not willing to speak to someone who can't speak politely to you.

And, frankly, that might include her. Did I suggest early on that YOU might be entitled to an assessment of YOUR needs as your mum's carer, from Social Services? In fact you might be entitled to say "I can't do this any more, please arrange your own care, I will come and see you as your daughter. If you don't wish me to do that, do feel free to say so."

I have several siblings, and we find that our parents start taking for granted that one or other of us will do things that they can quite well do for themselves. The more we do, the more they expect. When we start to say "Sorry, that's not possible" then the relationships become easier.