Mum's being pushed into making a will

seven-day-weekend

Tiger_greeneyes wrote: »

It's not that simple with him, he feels he's entitled to Mum's house and will keep trying to ram that home to Mum until he's seen a will, I'm afraid.

So she can show him 'a' will if that will stop him bullying her.

Doesn't have to be 'the' will.........

She can change it....

Tiger_greeneyes

That's a good idea Errata. I did tell Mum to make two copies, one for each of the neighbours she was getting to witness her home-made will. I know my stepbrother has been rummaging around because Mum's missing some money that she and my stepfather had hidden around the house

Tiger_greeneyes

margaretclare wrote: »

Why does he feel he's 'entitled to' her house? What 'entitles' him?

Has he got a house of his own, is he homeless, what does he want it for?

You mean he will keep on 'harassing' her, nag-nag-nag, drip-drip-drip...

In that case your bro in the Met Police might have some useful things to do/say!

Long story. He has his own house, all paid for by Mum and my stepfather. They bought him his first house as a wedding present so he's had two houses out of them. Also, Mum and stepfather have loaned him thousands of pounds over the years. He's been spoiled all his life and put on a pedestal by his father. He's been in and out of prison so my stepfather bought him a business - something like £40k if I remember correctly. Mum and my stepfather aren't wealthy by anybody's standards - they lost two businesses on the trot (a petrol station in the 70's and a little DIY shop in the 80's) and didn't have a penny to their names either time. They bought the odd house here and there and renovated them while they lived in them. This allowed them to pay off their mortgage in their 60's and have a little bit saved for retirement.

My stepfather made it quite clear that his son was going to get every penny that he and my Mum had. Ironically, if my stepfather hadn't been related to my stepbrother, he'd have despised the kind of person he was.

Considering my Mum won't go against her husband's wishes, my stepbrother is so desperate to get his hands on her property that he's going to keep going until he's worn her down

My stepbrother and his wife have a very expensive car habit - I've seen them in at least five different cars. They also do some sort of racing thing that means they have a huge garden full of cars for it (Mum tried counting them all once but kept losing count there were that many).

Tiger_greeneyes

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

So she can show him 'a' will if that will stop him bullying her.

Doesn't have to be 'the' will.........

She can change it....

:rotfl: she'd laugh her socks off at that suggestion! I know she'll be leaving him everything though, she won't go against her hubby's wishes, even though 50% of everything is hers.

Errata

Oh dear the usual "My family and other Disasters" family stuff. I wish your mum a very long and very happy life.
I hope she keeps her doors locked at all times. Actually, if the step has a key, she might want to change the locks just in case it's stolen from him. Your mum needs to ensure her safety and security now she's on her own. You know what I mean.

Jennifer_Jane

Thanks, Errata, exactly what I was thinking.

To be frank, I was thinking that for her own safety she should either not have any will (per EdInvestor) or have a will and tell the stepson he is not included and that it's none of his business.

I realise that this is a difficult situation for you and your brother, let alone your poor mother. Surely it's better not to have a will in this instance?? (Edit: apologies, meant OP's family, not Errata's).

Jen
x

Errata

JJ - I'm inclined to agree with you about the no will and let intestacy take its course.
A while ago my brother asked me if I'd made one and I told him I hadn't for the pleasure of seeing him turn white at the thought of all the work he'd have to do. None of his business, and I've got one

margaretclare

Tiger_greeneyes wrote: »

I know she'll be leaving him everything though, she won't go against her hubby's wishes, even though 50% of everything is hers.

I find it very hard to understand this kind of thinking. He's not going to jump out of his grave and beat her up for 'going against his wishes', is he? And if the deceased had wanted his wishes carried out, why the heck didn't he make a will? Was it because he knew he'd succeeded in thoroughly brainwashing her and knew he could safely leave it to son to carry on browbeating her?

If it was me, I would see him in hell before I ever left him one penny-piece - but then, it's not me is it. I feel very sorry for any woman like your Mum.

Valli

Oh dear your poor mum.

If it were me I 'd be tempted to sell and shove off where he couldn't find me....

margaretclare

Valli wrote: »

Oh dear your poor mum.

If it were me I 'd be tempted to sell and shove off where he couldn't find me....

I could agree with you. Except that Mum is in poor health and can't even get out of the house. Which makes it all the more shameful, the way she has been brainwashed by late husband and now being browbeaten by his son.

I remember something that happened not very long before my first husband died. I'd just been told about my forthcoming redundancy, I was wondering what to do, whether to move to seek work elsewhere....he said something very telling, which I didn't appreciate until later. He said 'You have to make your own decisions now. The time has gone when you needed to consider me in what you choose to do'.

I thought of those words a few weeks later when he died.