Mum's being pushed into making a will

calleyw

I glad to hear that you mum is spending some of the money on her self.

I didn't know your stepfather but I am disgusted at his attitude. Both your mother and your stepfather worked for that money so it is halves each. He did not leave a will so he must really believed that your mother would follow his bidding. Now the money is hers to do as she wills.

As there are 3 children then it is a 3rd each no question. That is the only fair way to me. Actually if your step brother has already had so much then I would say he no longer gets a share if you and your brother have not been treated the same.

One way around is for your mother to make a will show it to him in his favour and then change it straight away making the first one void but not keep a copy in the house.

Long winded but a hassle. But really don't see why you should miss out you are as much entitled as your step brother. The only reason he wants a will is because he knows what happens if there is not one. It would be 3rd shares.

All the best. I don't wish this on your mother but your stepbrother is going to be very disappointed if your mother goes in to a care home as her own home would have to be sold. And as average costs are about £600 a week he is going to get a shock at how little she will have left over.

Take care.

Yours

Calley

Tiger_greeneyes

My stepfather was very old fashioned Calley, he believed that women should have nothing to do with money or property. Tbh, I don't know why any woman would saddle themselves with such bigoted attitude but times are different now, thankfully. Having said that, my stepbrother is a replica of his father. They'd both rob you blind but the only difference being that my stepfather would have done it with a smile and been completely honest about what he was doing. My stepbrother tried to scam me and my husband out of every penny we owned last year. Good for us that he's not very bright, we spotted it immediately and told him where to go.

My stepbrother is convinced the world owes him a living.

Oh yeah, I found out recently he drink drives. I can't tell you how much I detest him.

Savvy_Sue

calleyw wrote: »

The only reason he wants a will is because he knows what happens if there is not one. It would be 3rd shares.

Actually, I'm not so sure about that, do stepchildren get anything? According to this, I would say not. Although, depending on the size of the OP's stepdad's estate, his children might have been entitled to something on his death, and to the balance on her death. It might be a moot point how much of his estate was actually hers, of course ...

calleyw

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Actually, I'm not so sure about that, do stepchildren get anything? According to this, I would say not. Although, depending on the size of the OP's stepdad's estate, his children might have been entitled to something on his death, and to the balance on her death. It might be a moot point how much of his estate was actually hers, of course ...

After looking at that I agree with you. I had forgotten about step and half siblings being different.

So that makes even more sense as to why he wants a will. He knows that he will not inherit a thing.

Is power of attorney type thing relevant here. Just wondering. If you claim she can no longer run her own affairs. And you run them. If tries to get her to agree to anything after that date would it not make a invalid Might be talking piffle.

The op's mum is being very unfair to the op and her brother. Why does she think that you should not get anything seems strange. And seeing as the stepdad is dead he no longer has any power over the P's mother.

Yours

Calley

Nenen

Tiger_greeneyes wrote: »

Oh yeah, I found out recently he drink drives. I can't tell you how much I detest him.

Having had a very dear friend and her husband killed by a drunk driver (leaving their two young children orphaned) I am particularly against drink driving. If I was you (irrespective of will stuff) I would ring crimestoppers and report him or go and have a word with your local police (or perhaps your brother in the police could sort this out). The police can then keep an eye out for him and breathalyse him if they have the least reason for suspecting him of drink driving. If he is without transport, or even better is in prison again, he won't be hassling your mum for a while!

margaretclare

Tiger_greeneyes wrote: »

My stepfather was very old fashioned Calley, he believed that women should have nothing to do with money or property.

I have known such types. A survey done for 'Reader's Digest' only a few years ago quoted women saying 'oh my husband deals with all that, I hve nothing to worry about..' women only about my age, would you believe!

I have known of a few of them. In my experience they tend to pop off first, and they can leave the bereaved widow in a right pickle. She may not know about paying the bills, how/when/who to, insurance policies (where?) and all the practicalities like that. Often she was not encouraged to learn to drive and so could be almost housebound, in country areas with no bus service. I had a sister-in-law who said 'I don't drive, that doesn't mean I can't drive, I just don't. I leave it to him'. Fine, until he's taken ill, in hospital and you can't visit him unless son comes over from the next county to act as chauffeur! I know a woman whose husband is a retired bank manager. Granted she's never needed to work and has no money worries, but the only money she handles is her weekly 'housekeeping'. I asked her what the 'housekeeping' was meant to cover. She looked at me as if I'd suddenly sprouted a second head. 'The weekly groceries, the milkman, the paper shop'. That was it. 'He' paid all the insurance premiums, all household bills, the lot. Fine, until he's suddenly no longer there.

I could not live in that kind of a set-up either, although I gather it's not uncommon for my generation. I regard it as positively mediaeval.

About step-descendants, yes, in a will they don't figure unless specifically named. We've had to do that for our wills because we each have step-grandchildren who are included.

And yes, I totally, totally agree about the drink-driving. I would shop him, in a heartbeat.

Tbh, I don't know why any woman would saddle themselves with such bigoted attitude but times are different now, thankfully. Having said that, my stepbrother is a replica of his father. They'd both rob you blind but the only difference being that my stepfather would have done it with a smile and been completely honest about what he was doing. My stepbrother tried to scam me and my husband out of every penny we owned last year. Good for us that he's not very bright, we spotted it immediately and told him where to go.

My stepbrother is convinced the world owes him a living.

Oh yeah, I found out recently he drink drives. I can't tell you how much I detest him.

B*****d, is the only word.

Tiger_greeneyes

Things have moved on a bit. My stepbrother and his wife went to see my Mum last night. She'd called him as her washing machine packed up since he did something to it the other day. They again brought up the subject of the will. His wife has called me (and convinced Mum) that I'm "an outsider". I'm hanging back now, my quest for 'doing the right thing' is only going to cause a ton of aggro. Mum's happy in her ignorance and as long as she's happy then that's what counts.

I understand my stepbrother is going to punch me next time we meet. Nice. I'm female, disabled and have put my whole life on hold to care for his dad and my Mum.

On the drink driving thing, I'm going to contact Crime Stoppers as suggested. It's not a personal vendetta (although I despise him) it's the right thing to do. If he involved someone in an accident then I wouldn't want it on my conscience.

dzug1

calleyw wrote: »

Is power of attorney type thing relevant here. Just wondering. If you claim she can no longer run her own affairs. And you run them. If tries to get her to agree to anything after that date would it not make a invalid Might be talking piffle.
Calley

Problem is that an Attorney can do nothing about a will - it's outside his/her powers. He's not even entitled to see it.

And not being able to run ones own affairs is not an absolute - you may be able to do so some of the time. There's plenty of room for a lengthy law suit on whether the will was valid or not which could eat up much ofthe estate in fees.

There's also the problem that the step brother has the right to object to the PoA being granted.

A good thought - but beset with problems.

chesky369

Actually, Tiger, I'm beginning to have a rather low opinion of your mother. If anybody tried to convince me that my disabled daughter should be cut out of my will, they'd hear the sharp edge of my tongue.

monkey_spank

....and on top of that it would be them that are cut out of the Will.