Mum's being pushed into making a will

margaretclare

Well, I've looked at this again: http://www.elderabuse.org.uk/What%20is%20abuse/what_is_abuse_signs%20do%20and%20contact_helpful%20contacts.htm

First of all there is the helpline. Then there is Social Services. Then the police.

I agree with scotsbob. I can't see how this scenario describes a crime being committed. Emotional abuse maybe, blackmail maybe, but nothing to prove a 'crime' is being committed. No doubt, if pulled in for questioning, stepson would lie through his teeth and say he is fully entitled to visit his stepmum. Maybe he wants to make sure she's OK, after all, she is newly-widowed and not in good health (I guess those 2 things are what make her 'vulnerable' as elder abuse define it, or are we all meant to be 'vulnerable' simply because of age?)

How would you prove a crime being committed in this situation?

Savvy_Sue

Armed with the information from Action on Elder Abuse, the OP may be better equipped to enable her mum to make her own mind up a) about whether to write a will or not and b) what to put in it. I agree that everyone should have a will, but at the very least mum should know what happens if she doesn't, since right now she may not want to do it. And that is also her right.

Under the circumstances, I wouldn't necessarily mention someone coming to the house to write mum's will. Let's not make it easy for the stepson.

The OP may also want to contact Social Services and ask for a Carer's Assessment, ie an assessment of the support which she needs in order to carry on caring for her mother.

Tiger_greeneyes

Hi everyone. Thank you all for your advice, it's been very helpful. I like the AEA website and I'll definitely be trawling through it.

Mum has decided to write down her wishes and get a couple of neighbours to sign it - that, to her, is making a will. My stepbrother won't have a chance of getting her to see a solicitor to make a will, not now she's made up her mind that she's doing it this way.

As for the intimidation/guilt stuff from my stepbrother, my younger brother is in the Met Police. If stepbrother makes a regular habit of this, that is exactly what harassment laws are there to deal with.

calleyw

Tiger_greeneyes wrote: »

Hi everyone. Thank you all for your advice, it's been very helpful. I like the AEA website and I'll definitely be trawling through it.

Mum has decided to write down her wishes and get a couple of neighbours to sign it - that, to her, is making a will. My stepbrother won't have a chance of getting her to see a solicitor to make a will, not now she's made up her mind that she's doing it this way.

As for the intimidation/guilt stuff from my stepbrother, my younger brother is in the Met Police. If stepbrother makes a regular habit of this, that is exactly what harassment laws are there to deal with.

Sorry to hear about the loss.

I am sorry to say that a will made in the fashion you suggest could cause even further problems once she is gone. It needs to be done properly. So the people who she wants to give to gets it.

You stepbrother is right in suggestion that she makes a will. But not in that the house should be left to him.

can you not explain to her that it is important. You don't have to let your step brother know anything about what she is doing.

If she did leave it all to the cats and dogs home I would just love to see his face once the will is read

All the best.

Yours


Calley

margaretclare

Isn't what she proposes a 'holograph will' which can be just as valid as any other, provided that it is witnessed independently?

Bit tongue-in-cheek, but if you want a suggestion for a dogs and cats charity, how about this one: https://www.nowzaddogs.co.uk

localhero

Isn't what she proposes a 'holograph will' which can be just as valid as any other, provided that it is witnessed independently?

A holographic Will is indeed a Will written entirely in the handwriting of the testator and signed - but with no witnesses.

This would be valid in some parts of the world, but not in England and Wales.

seven-day-weekend

Your mother does indeeed need to make a will.

Your stepfather's son does not need to know what is in it. He (or for that matter anyone else) does not need to know that until your mother's death.

So she can leave her property however she wishes.

Tiger_greeneyes

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Your mother does indeeed need to make a will.

Your stepfather's son does not need to know what is in it. He (or for that matter anyone else) does not need to know that until your mother's death.

So she can leave her property however she wishes.

It's not that simple with him, he feels he's entitled to Mum's house and will keep trying to ram that home to Mum until he's seen a will, I'm afraid.

Errata

It's an easy problem to take care of. Get your mum to store her will with the Probate Office for a one off fee of £15. That way, everyone that needs to knows where it is, nobody can see what she's written until she's dead and it can't get lost either by mistake or on purpose.
It's not unknown for relatives to make someone's will vanish if they're first into the house, can hunt it down and don't like what it says.

margaretclare

Tiger_greeneyes wrote: »

It's not that simple with him, he feels he's entitled to Mum's house and will keep trying to ram that home to Mum until he's seen a will, I'm afraid.

Why does he feel he's 'entitled to' her house? What 'entitles' him?

Has he got a house of his own, is he homeless, what does he want it for?

You mean he will keep on 'harassing' her, nag-nag-nag, drip-drip-drip...

In that case your bro in the Met Police might have some useful things to do/say!