Childminder hit my child

Zazen999

Hoof_Hearted wrote: »

Having spent a long time in education, this story rings too many familiar bells. The child is naughty and causes a hell of a fuss and you can imagine how the childminder felt. She probably smacked him because of her own pent up emotions. The parents will immediately focus on the childninder's wrongs, rather than on their precious child's awful behaviour. I am sure that officialdom would come down on the childminder like a ton of bricks beacuse we are all so PC now and she would probably lose her job. Where you went wrong:

1) not bringing your child up to behave properly;
2) not establishing the rules of engagement with the childminder in the first place;
3) making a big deal of it with your precious -- kids are great at sussing out divisions between adults.

If you don't like it, get a new childminder. However, I think you would be vindictive to report her.

Did you often go to M&S when you should be looking after your charges?

I would have to ask whether the child was bored out of his brain after a morning's shopping for ladies clothes in M&S.

She has admitted that she does it regularly [the childminder], who are we to know whether this is just common practice for her?

HariboJunkie

noodledoodle78 wrote: »

Can I please reiterate again we had spoken about smacking and the childminder assured me previously that she did not smack!

Sorry, I missed where you said that before. :oI thought you said you had dismissed it because you thought your son had made it up?

Anyway, I hope you make the decision that is right for you and your son.

moneysaver12

The cm should never smack your child. I look after my nieces and if they are naughty i never smack them. I don't believe in smacking children to start with, but even if i did i would never smack anyone elses child. To me how can you tell a child that they shouldn't smack anyone else but then its ok for a adult to smack the child.

peachyprice

a8amg wrote: »

Do you lot not realise, that this lack of discipline is exactly why we have teenagers on the street with knives, guns, back chatting to the police.
You may well think a NO smacking policy is better for your child, but Society was a safer one with it. Don’t get me wrong hitting and smacking are worlds apart. A smack is controlled and done with love not anger. I would welcome corporal punishment back in school, as it only ends up with an unruly classes, and the responsibility is then put back onto the parents, who, lets face it, some are just not interested. In my experience you just can’t reason with some young children. I am a glowing example, have been smacked by my parents, I still love them, and it kept me on the straight and narrow

You're missing the point completely. Smacking isn't the issue, if parents wish to smack their child fine, let them.

A childminder smacking someone elses child is not acceptable. No ifs or buts.

moneysaver12

a8amg wrote: »

Do you lot not realise, that this lack of discipline is exactly why we have teenagers on the street with knives, guns, back chatting to the police.
You may well think a NO smacking policy is better for your child, but Society was a safer one with it. Don’t get me wrong hitting and smacking are worlds apart. A smack is controlled and done with love not anger. I would welcome corporal punishment back in school, as it only ends up with an unruly classes, and the responsibility is then put back onto the parents, who, lets face it, some are just not interested. In my experience you just can’t reason with some young children. I am a glowing example, have been smacked by my parents, I still love them, and it kept me on the straight and narrow

I was smacked by my parents and i resented them for it. What stopped me from being naughty was the respect i had for my parents and also been told off. Why is it acceptable to smack a child yet, if an employer or the police for example smacked someone for doing something wrong then there would be uproar about it.

peachyprice

Hoof_Hearted wrote: »

2) not establishing the rules of engagement with the childminder in the first place;

There are no 'rules of engagement' as far a smacking a child in your care is concerned, it's not up for negotiation, it shouldn't happen fullstop.

Kaz2904

My son ran off at Futuroscope when he was 4. Thankfully I could see him but he couldn't see me. As I was heading over to grab him he went up and took hold of a mans leg (like they do) thinking it was his Dad. When the man looked down and spoke French to him DS leapt and started bawling. He was absolutely beside himself for the rest of the day and has never run off again. I didn't have to do anything to him because the shock of losing us was enough.
When DD was small she ran off a few times (always when I had hands full putting DS in the trolley or whatever. I once had to chase her down the road (boy she's quick) and not one person stopped her despite the fact that a 2 year old was sprinting down the main road with me sprinting after her shouting to her to stop and shouting someone stop her. I eventually caught her (only just and by her hood) just as she was getting to the end of the pavement on the corner. She DID get a smacked bum for that.
Now she's 7 she panics completely if she thinks she's lost us but when small she was a nightmare.

To the OP, I really don't know what I would do in your situation. If you think you could trust her not to smack him again would you be happy for him to stay? I'm not sure how happy I would be if I was paying her to go shopping. This is her job, she shouldn't be doing shopping while she has him anymore than you or I would sit painting our toenails while we were at work.

sporedude

Hoof_Hearted wrote: »

Having spent a long time in education, this story rings too many familiar bells. The child is naughty and causes a hell of a fuss and you can imagine how the childminder felt. She probably smacked him because of her own pent up emotions. The parents will immediately focus on the childninder's wrongs, rather than on their precious child's awful behaviour. I am sure that officialdom would come down on the childminder like a ton of bricks beacuse we are all so PC now and she would probably lose her job. Where you went wrong:

1) not bringing your child up to behave properly;
2) not establishing the rules of engagement with the childminder in the first place;
3) making a big deal of it with your precious -- kids are great at sussing out divisions between adults.

If you don't like it, get a new childminder. However, I think you would be vindictive to report her.

I smell a troll...

moneysaver12

People seem to be forgetting that the child is 3 years old and at that age are still learning about things like danger. It is the cm responabilty to make sure the child doesn't run off. Not all children like shopping and do get bored. If the child runs off regulary then surely it makes sense to have a wrist strap thing, can't remember what they are called. So the child can't run off.

moneysaver12

Kaz2904 wrote: »

My son ran off at Futuroscope when he was 4. Thankfully I could see him but he couldn't see me. As I was heading over to grab him he went up and took hold of a mans leg (like they do) thinking it was his Dad. When the man looked down and spoke French to him DS leapt and started bawling. He was absolutely beside himself for the rest of the day and has never run off again. I didn't have to do anything to him because the shock of losing us was enough.
When DD was small she ran off a few times (always when I had hands full putting DS in the trolley or whatever. I once had to chase her down the road (boy she's quick) and not one person stopped her despite the fact that a 2 year old was sprinting down the main road with me sprinting after her shouting to her to stop and shouting someone stop her. I eventually caught her (only just and by her hood) just as she was getting to the end of the pavement on the corner. She DID get a smacked bum for that.
Now she's 7 she panics completely if she thinks she's lost us but when small she was a nightmare.

To the OP, I really don't know what I would do in your situation. If you think you could trust her not to smack him again would you be happy for him to stay? I'm not sure how happy I would be if I was paying her to go shopping. This is her job, she shouldn't be doing shopping while she has him anymore than you or I would sit painting our toenails while we were at work.

How can the op trust the childminder now, when she has smacked him more than once. Also the child is unhappy going to the cm, i think its ufair on the child to keep sending him there.