Childminder hit my child

seven-day-weekend

I do not think she should have smacked your child (ever, not just on this occasion). I also believe she should have had him on reins or a wrist thingy if she was going shopping in a busy centre.

However, I do think what he did was very dangerous and he MUST have it impressed into him that he must never do it again - maybe by insisting the childminder keeps him on said reins or wriststrap which will also be a punishment for your son until he learns not to run off.

I would also change my childminder.

Just to add, I do not think there is anything wrong with a parent smacking their own child when necessary, and I would have done so on this occasion if it had happenend when I had been with him.

efrieze

My concern would be the shopping trip that the CM and her mother were doing - why were they dragging him round M&S and leading to him getting bored and wandering off in the first place. Her focus should, at all times, be about entertaining and stimulating your DS. The care they get at a CM should, in my opinion, be even more child focussed than if you are at home with him and having to do your household chores etc. She is being paid to look after him, after all.

pinkshoes

I can see why she did it - the poor woman was no doubt frantic with worry, and a three year old is perfectly capable of understanding that they shouldn't run off.

I did something simlar when I was 3 (escaped and wandered off at a busy show!), and I got a lovely smacked bum too - a very good way to learn that I was naughty, and much more affective than being shouted at.

I detest the government telling people how to discipline kids, and if you're not happy with the childminder giving him a smacked bum in exceptional circumstances, then just talk to her. It will probably mean that your son no longer gets nice trips out.

shellsuit

I'd be livid if i were you, but from the tone of the OP, it's seems you're not really that fussed about it.

For starters, the kid is 3, so his hand should be held at all times in town (unless Marks now have stores out of town?) and then he wouldn't have chance to run off and go missing.

Secondly, why would anyone hit a child if they had done something which scared/worried you sh!tless? Especially as they are 3 and don't have the brains all of the time to know what's dangerous or not!

Is it not acceptable to give them a huge hug and explain in depth how dangerous the circumstances were??

NOBODY has the right to strike your child, let alone in a fit of worry!

The childminder needs a bloody good slap herself. If she was doing her job properly, she would have been aware of the lad all ALL times and not give him the chance to run off. Also, where does she get off slapping him?? It was HER fault he went missing, but he gets punished?? Errrr, sorry, that's just not on!

So, in effect, OP has paid good money for someone to lose and strike her child, then expects the lad to tell the childminder not to hit him.

Oh plus the fact that he was unhappy there, but he was left with the 'naughty girl' anyway.

Total madness.

Grow some balls and sort it out properly is my advice. If you can't protect your own child, who can?!

pretzelnut

GET YOUR SON OUT NOW.

There is absolutely NO need for a childminder to smack a child.

Regardless of the situation.

I used to be a childminder and would never dream of hitting a child. Physical punishment of any sort is not allowed, even if a childminder is given the ok to physically punish a child they are not allowed to.

She is failing your child on so many levels.

I would contact OFSTED immediately and inform them, they will take this very seriously.

A childminder is supposed to care for a child, if she cannot control herself then she shouldnt be looking after children, your child is supposed to be cared for in a safe place.

Taye

I didn't think childminders where allowed to smack children??!! i would have thought they would have come under the same set of law's that prevent things like teachers smacking children??!

I don't smack my children and i certainly wouldn't expect a childminder to do it, if a childminder smacked my son, no matter what circumstances it would be THE LAST time my son went to the childminder.

Don't get me wrong im not against smacking per say i just don't think a childminder ever has that right.

tbh i wouldn't be happy with a childminder even taking my son to the shops unless she/he could be sure that they'd be safe and sound. It's one thing for a mother to loose there own child in a shop quite another for a PAID childminder to do it, your paying a childminder to look after your child.. not shop.

I don't going shopping when im at work?! why should a childminder?? Her/His priority should be to the child and only the child that's what they are being paid for.

noodledoodle78

Please be assured I am livid about this. But as smacking a child is such an emotive subject, I wanted other people's opinions to confirm what I thought.

I explained to my son that no-one is allowed to hit him - not for him to be my backbone and tell the childminder. I have not broached the subject with her but intend to tonight. I have already started looking for an alternate childmiinder and will be visiting some tomorrow.

Dave101t

didnt the child even admit it was just a smack on the bum, thats a standard disclipline.
we are not talking about fists here so smacking isnt the issue.

having a kid that routinely hides under clothes racks is.

Zazen999

noodledoodle78 wrote: »

I explained to my son that no-one is allowed to hit him - not for him to be my backbone and tell the childminder.

noodledoodle78 wrote: »

I have told him that no-one is allowed to smack him and he must tell me if it happens and to tell the childminder that she is not allowed to smack him.

You said here that he is to tell the childminder that she is not allowed to smack him.

bonty44

I can to a certain extent understand that she smacked him without thinking (not that I think it was the right response)
However:
1 Your son should not have been able to run away. His hand should be held or he should be on a restraint of some kind.
2 This isn't a case of abuse but a case of inappropriate reprimand. Have you considered putting in writing to her that you do not wish for her to smack your son? Although I can understand to a certain exent why she did it, it really wasn't at all an appropriate response and it doesn't seem to underline to your son WHY he shouldn't run off.
3 No way should anyone acting 'in loco parentis' take the law into their own hands in this way; I as a teacher would never smack a child; I know hand on heart that my son's nursery wouldn't reprimand in that way either.

Hope you get this resolved