Childminder hit my child

noodledoodle78

Absolutely! He is aware that I do not want anyone to smack him and that if it happens he is to tell me and tell the other person that they are not to smack him. We do not smack him and I was making it clear to him that I do not see this as the norm.

By saying this I was not asking my three year old to confront the child minder on my behalf - that is plain ridiculous

Nicki

Dave101t wrote: »

didnt the child even admit it was just a smack on the bum, thats a standard disclipline.

not by a childminder it isn't.

If you don't know what you are talking about, and are only here to troll, perhaps another thread might be more appropriate?

bonty44

peachyprice wrote: »

Letting a childwalk out of a shop whilst looking at clothes in M&S is not, in my opinion, responsible parenting.

Yes, you are right, it is entirely possible to be out and about with children and they know not to run off; my two never have. In fact, they hold on so tightly that I often can't get down the aisles in Tesco's with the trolley :rotfl:

Reggie_Rebel

Seems like no is taking responsibility for giving the child standards of acceptable behaviour.

That's your real problem

Taye

Dave101t wrote: »

didnt the child even admit it was just a smack on the bum, thats a standard disclipline.
we are not talking about fists here so smacking isnt the issue.

having a kid that routinely hides under clothes racks is.

It might be standard disappline for a parent but not for a childminder?! childminders shouldn't be hitting kids.. if we allow that why not teachers?

If a childminder can't disapline a child without resorting to smacking then imo they have no right's being a childminder.

bonty44

noodledoodle78 wrote: »

Absolutely! He is aware that I do not want anyone to smack him and that if it happens he is to tell me and tell the other person that they are not to smack him. We do not smack him and I was making it clear to him that I do not see this as the norm.

By saying this I was not asking my three year old to confront the child minder on my behalf - that is plain ridiculous

This is going to be quite a difficult situation to handle. The childminder needs to know that she is not to smack your child as that is your request and she needs to respect that. However, your son needs to understand WHY he was smacked and, although you don't agree with it, that the Childminder had to punish him because what he did was essentially very dangerous and did not keep him safe. It would be very difficult for your childminder to have any discipline or indeed relationship with your son if he feels he has to 'tell' on her. The discussion ref smacking needs to be between the adults.

pretzelnut

Taye wrote: »

I didn't think childminders where allowed to smack children??!! i would have thought they would have come under the same set of law's that prevent things like teachers smacking children??!

Both childminders and teachers are treted the same. There is no difference.

A smack wheter fist of slap on the bum is not allowed. End of.

The childminder is supposed to be in control, if the child ran off she should have measures in place that limited this in the 1st place ie reins or wrist strap. As we all know 3 year old like to run off. Regardless of the childs age she should have explained beforehand what they wer doing and why he should not run off. Giving him lots of praise for being good and not running off.

There is no excuse for her to have smacked him.

A child does run of, It happens. But what she should have done was sit him down and say ''oh XXXXXX, you gave me such a big fright, we didnt know where you were. I'm so pleased we found you but it is unnaceptable behaviour for you to run off like that.''

Not lose control and hit him.

a8amg

Do you lot not realise, that this lack of discipline is exactly why we have teenagers on the street with knives, guns, back chatting to the police.
You may well think a NO smacking policy is better for your child, but Society was a safer one with it. Don’t get me wrong hitting and smacking are worlds apart. A smack is controlled and done with love not anger. I would welcome corporal punishment back in school, as it only ends up with an unruly classes, and the responsibility is then put back onto the parents, who, lets face it, some are just not interested. In my experience you just can’t reason with some young children. I am a glowing example, have been smacked by my parents, I still love them, and it kept me on the straight and narrow

supermezzo

shellsuit wrote: »

I'd be livid if i were you, but from the tone of the OP, it's seems you're not really that fussed about it.

For starters, the kid is 3, so his hand should be held at all times in town (unless Marks now have stores out of town?) and then he wouldn't have chance to run off and go missing.

Secondly, why would anyone hit a child if they had done something which scared/worried you sh!tless? Especially as they are 3 and don't have the brains all of the time to know what's dangerous or not!

Is it not acceptable to give them a huge hug and explain in depth how dangerous the circumstances were??

QUOTE]

Seriously? I've been a nanny for many, many years and at no point would I ever 'reward' a child with a hug for doing something such as running off. In one breath you say he is 3 and doesn't have the brains to know whats dangerous and not and yet in the next, you advocate an 'in depth' explanation with him. A hug when you find him on the rides doing exactly what he wanted to do teaches him that it's ok to do it!
He's 3 - He shouldn't have been able to wander off, but it does happen sometimes. Not always and not to all people but it does happen. I would prefer him to realise and to have learnt very quickly that running off is not something to be tolerated, rather than seeing running off as a 'game'. He has absolutely no concept that he may be run over/kidnapped etc. That's why you do need to instill in him that something 'bad' will happen if he does wander off, you just need to tailor the 'bad' to something he will percieve as pretty rotten i.e. no more rides, sweets, treats etc if smacking isn't something you do.

OP-Please don't expect or place your child in the position of having to 'supervise' his own punishment by having him tell the CM not to smack him. He's 3, you are the parent so you deal with it.

If you don't accept that she smacks your child, then remove him from there. Simple.

Taye

a8amg wrote: »

Do you lot not realise, that this lack of discipline is exactly why we have teenagers on the street with knives, guns, back chatting to the police.
You may well think a NO smacking policy is better for your child, but Society was a safer one. Don’t get me wrong hitting and smacking are worlds apart. A smack is controlled and done with love not anger. I would welcome corporal punishment back in school, as it only ends up with an unruly class, and the responsibility it then put back onto the parents, who lets face it, some are just not interested. In my experience you just can’t reason with some young children.

I have never hit either of my children and NEITHER of my children lack disappline. My children are well behaved with good values and moral's.

Lack of disapline breed's bad behavour, but i truely belive good disapline CAN be achived without smacking.