Childminder hit my child

moggylover

dgl1001 wrote: »

Interesting one. We have told our child minder to punish as appropriate, including smacking, but only in exceptional circumstances. From what has been described, it sounds like an exceptional circumstance. A child must understand that they can't just wonder off for safety reasons. As for the whole smacking debate, i remember as a 3 year old running out into the road in front of incoming traffic. My dad gave me an appropriate smack (a hard one). While it may have hurt, and im sure people would argue that he shouldn't have done it; i never walked out in front of incoming traffic again; which may have altimately saved my life.

At last! Some common sense!

At the end of the day, if we do not wish to parent our own children full time then as far as I am concerned we leave the person who does do the parenting to do so as they see fit!

My own son managed to give my mother and I the slip at about 3 years of age (in the moment that I let go of his hand!) and he got a well deserved smacked bottom for it! Now 14 and has no lasting ill effects from proper discipline but never ran off and hid again and is a very sensible boy now!

moggylover

peachyprice wrote: »

She is not one of her own, if she wants to smack her own children that is fine. But never, under any circumstance, can she smack a child in her care.

TBH, my dismissing it out of hand in the first place you have given her the impression that it was fine to smack him, even more so because you haven't challenged her about the allegations made before.

Yes he was naughty to have run off, but he must have been given the opportunity to run off. Children don't just disappear when they are being watched properly. Your childminder is as much at fault for taking him on a shopping trip, with her mother in tow, and putting him in a situation where he was able to WALK OUT OF A SHOP without her noticing.

There is no way in the world a child of mine would be going back to a childminder who a) hits him and b) is distracted enough to lose him.

How hysterically funny I find that post! I suspect that some parents have so little experience of the whole range of problems involved in full-time parenting that they really do live in cloud cuckoo land:rolleyes:

peachyprice

moggylover wrote: »

How hysterically funny I find that post! I suspect that some parents have so little experience of the whole range of problems involved in full-time parenting that they really do live in cloud cuckoo land:rolleyes:

Hmm, that'll be why I've managed to raise 3 children without letting them get lost, and I have plenty of experience of full-time parenting, so please, keep your condesceding remarks to your self.

And no i don't live in cloud cuckoo land, I take proper care of my children while out an about. Letting a childwalk out of a shop whilst looking at clothes in M&S is not, in my opinion, responsible parenting.


So pleased to have amused you though :rolleyes:

galvanizersbaby

moggylover wrote: »

How hysterically funny I find that post! I suspect that some parents have so little experience of the whole range of problems involved in full-time parenting that they really do live in cloud cuckoo land:rolleyes:

I'm not sure why it was hysterically funny - was it a dig at parents who choose/have to use a childminder or another form of childcare while they are work? - unsure?

Anyhow OP - I'm not sure that telling your son to tell you if it happens again is the best way to go on this one.
If you don't want your child disciplined in this way (which I'm guessing you don't) then you need to speak to the childminder yourself and make it quite clear.
You also need to speak to your son to make sure he understands his mischief could have had serious implications.
Personally I've not heard of any childminders who would discipline a child in this way (though not experienced with childminders myself) so it seems a bit odd to me.

McKneff

MrsTine wrote: »

I'd say there were 2 issues here you need to address (and not by telling your son that he should tell you if she tries to smack him again!)
First you agree with your childminder that she does not smack your child again - no if's or but's - you understand why she did it but you prefer her to not punish him in that manner again.
Second you make clear to him that running off is NOT acceptable and he deserved a smacked bum. If he can't behave like a "big boy" then he doesn't get to go out to shops and certainly doesn't get to go on rides!
If between you and the childminder you can't come to an agreement about how to diciplin your child then you find a new childminder - simple

Good post from MrsTine

My own opinion echoes hers. But in actual fact this woman lost control.
She needs to be told not to smack any of the children. One of these days someone will smack her back and i dont mean one of the children.

ChrisCobra

cjj wrote: »

What if your child had not been found ?

Whats that got to do with the issue of childminders hitting children when they were asked not to ?

Zazen999

ChrisCobra wrote: »

Whats that got to do with the issue of childminders hitting children when they were asked not to ?

They have not been asked not to - apart from the OP asking her son to tell the childminder that he is not supposed to be hit.

noodledoodle78

Not so - as a registered childminder she is not supposed to hit any child.

I had spoke to her previously and she had always maintained she would never hit a child and had different ways and methods as per her training.

Nicki

Zazen999 wrote: »

They have not been asked not to - apart from the OP asking her son to tell the childminder that he is not supposed to be hit.

They shouldn't have to be asked not to. Ofsted and local authority rules are crystal clear that they are not allowed to do so. Should they also be "asked not to" keep the child chained in a kennel outside the front door? If its a part of the job not to do something, and a legally and morally grey area anyway, then you shouldn't be doing it, whether the mum has thought not to ask you not to or not.

Zazen999

Nicki wrote: »

They shouldn't have to be asked not to. Ofsted and local authority rules are crystal clear that they are not allowed to do so. Should they also be "asked not to" keep the child chained in a kennel outside the front door? If its a part of the job not to do something, and a legally and morally grey area anyway, then you shouldn't be doing it, whether the mum has thought not to ask you not to or not.

Yeah, my bad.

My point is that the OP shouldn't really have asked her son to tell the childminder that he is not supposed to be hit?

She should grow some and do something about it, not send the kid back there.