Childminder hit my child

dgl1001

Interesting one. We have told our child minder to punish as appropriate, including smacking, but only in exceptional circumstances. From what has been described, it sounds like an exceptional circumstance. A child must understand that they can't just wonder off for safety reasons. As for the whole smacking debate, i remember as a 3 year old running out into the road in front of incoming traffic. My dad gave me an appropriate smack (a hard one). While it may have hurt, and im sure people would argue that he shouldn't have done it; i never walked out in front of incoming traffic again; which may have altimately saved my life.

Smickan

peachyprice wrote: »

There is no way in the world a child of mine would be going back to a childminder who a) hits him and b) is distracted enough to lose him.

I have to agree! I used to babysit for many years for a family for about 9 years in total and when I took them out we held hands or the oldest held on to the pushchair at all times and I kept my wits about me. It could be classed as an over reaction and yeah - kids do like to explore, but at the end of the day, you never can be too careful and they're not my kids (however much I love them).

I'd seriously be looking for other child care, not only does she slap (and it wasn't the once-as-an-instinct, she's done it before AND she dismissed the issue this morning AND your son was upset at being left with her - who's to say he wouldn't run off because he's frightened of her?

Let's face it, running off to play when he's told he can have a go after the shopping - it was very naughty - but her reaction could have frightened him so much that he'd try and get away again - or hide and not make himself seen when on the rides again?

And I know it may be blowing it up - but what happens if instinct was to kick in and she lost her temper/panicked over something bigger?

[Deleted User]

peachyprice wrote: »

She is not one of her own, if she wants to smack her own children that is fine. But never, under any circumstance, can she smack a child in her care.

TBH, my dismissing it out of hand in the first place you have given her the impression that it was fine to smack him, even more so because you haven't challenged her about the allegations made before.

Yes he was naughty to have run off, but he must have been given the opportunity to run off. Children don't just disappear when they are being watched properly. Your childminder is as much at fault for taking him on a shopping trip, with her mother in tow, and putting him in a situation where he was able to WALK OUT OF A SHOP without her noticing.

There is no way in the world a child of mine would be going back to a childminder who a) hits him and b) is distracted enough to lose him.

Peachy,

Can I smack your bum ???? (in the pic) LOL. :eek::eek::eek:

ChrisCobra

Nobody should be allowed to lay hands on your child ever. You shouldnt even have to resort to smacking a child , its even more serious when its a childminder that does it.

Maybe the childminder should be doing her job and keeping an eye on your child rather than daydreaming , if it was me and my OH we would get another minder straight away and put in some serious complaints.

jimexbox

My wife is a registered childminder and would never dream of using any sort of physical punishment on child, including our own. There are very strict guidelines laid down by ofsted as to how children in your care should be treated, any smacking is definitely a major 'no no'. An Ofsted inspector even told my wife that the 'naughty step' was not on, as it would label the child. Yes, I know, god give me strength. You should have a detailed contract with your childminder, which should detail exactly how your child will be cared for when in their care.

If you are all concerned at all as to the behaviour of any childminder you can complain to Ofsted, who will then send an inspector round to talk to them, then decide if any action is necessary.

cjj_2

What if your child had not been found ?

knithappens

Get him out of there ASAP. A childminder shoudl never treat another child like their own, they are to look after yoru child according to yoru wishes, if this was a nursery or a school, there woudl be discaplinary action and or dismisal. She is also ofsted inspected therefor I would report it to my local council ( as she has to be registered by them, and to ofsted. If your son has said she has done this before it looks like it is not a one off.

I would never dream of hitting another persons child, not even my nieces and nephews. SHe is in aposition of respoinsibility and trust, and she has abused that.

I know my son was a terror at one point for his childminder, but between us we sorted it, and he has ran away from her or refused to walk etc.

I know as a working parent it is hard, but see if you can find temporary childcare arrangements i know by law work can give you up to 2 weeks off per year paid in circumstances like this.

There are bound to beother childminders out there desperate for the work, who you will feel better leaving your son with now.

kindofagilr

I think it sounds as though your little one was being very naughty, I can imagine the panic the CM must have been feeling when she couldn't find him.

I think she smacked him out of impluse as she was worried sick.

If you dont want him smacked then you need to discuss this with the CM.

On the other hand, I woudlnt be very happy that he was able to run off, personally I feel that 4 year olds should have their hands held at all time whilst out shopping

mountainlioness

Mrs Tine's suggestion seems eminently sensible - handling the situation with both sides firmly and in a considered way rather than over-reacting. Little point getting into a discussion about being pro or anti smacking - the issue here is being clear about your expectations of how both the CM and your son behave. If you're not happy with either then that needs to be discussed with them directly, as Mrs T suggests. I don't think calling in the troops is helpful to anyone in this case given as you say it's not about abuse - this is about you, her and your son.

WestonDave

I think the thing in this tale which rang alarm bells for me was that this happened whilst the child minder was shopping in M&S with her mother. That to me sounds like she was having fun and shopping rather than working. Fair enough from time to time she may need to go and get some food etc, and that is all part of the learning experience for the child to join in with. I wouldn't expect her (nor would it be beneficial for the child) to be stuck in the house all the time - but child minding time is working time. M&S shopping with mother is leisure time and shouldn't be mixed up. Once you get to a point where her or her mothers choice of clothes is primary intention not only is the kid going to get bored and want to run off, but its also easier for him to run off. That in itself would concern me.

Whether she should have physically disciplined him is a matter of parental judgement - I don't smack my two as a rule but I know I have on occasion reacted when they've caught me in a painful way and the resulting action to remove the pain has ended up with them getting a bump etc. In this instance however I'm inclined to feel that the smacking is secondary to not being professional.

As a side issue, has her mother had the appropriate checks etc to be involved in your child's care in this way?