Childminder hit my child

GracieP

warehouse wrote: »

Wonderful, more kids with no idea how to socially interact with their peers. School is so much more than just education, but there's no need for me to expand on that as you'll know already won't you?

Actually studies show that home-educated children have better social skills than those in schools. Schools are not a natural environment and they do not provide the best experience of socialisation.

HariboJunkie

GracieP wrote: »

Actually studies show that home-educated children have better social skills than those in schools. Schools are not a natural environment and they do not provide the best experience of socialisation.

Dear God it's like 25 controversial threads all rolled into one.

Can you provide a link to these "studies" Gracie?

milliebear00001

GracieP wrote: »

Whether or not things will turn out that way for me I don't have a clue. Of course I like to think they will, but while I'm a lot like my mum and my idea of parenting is pretty much the same as hers, I am still a different person - things could take me differently. I have fostered my 1 yo cousin, so I know what having full-time care of a child is like. Hopefully in a year or two I'll know fo sure.

The highlighted bit is exactly the point I made to you myself. This is why you are contradicting yourself when you write things like "Tbh, I couldn't bear to have a child if I couldn't stay home with them each day.".

poet123

GracieP wrote: »

Actually studies show that home-educated children have better social skills than those in schools. Schools are not a natural environment and they do not provide the best experience of socialisation.

I too would be interested to see these studies. In my experience that is the very area the home educated child falls down in, not always of course, but regularly enough for it to be an issue of concern.

GracieP

bestpud wrote: »

I really hope things do all click into place for you but, as a parent myself, I cannot take your idealistic views seriously at this point. Sorry.

Where are my views idealistic? I said that while I hope my experiences will be like my mother's I'm a different person and I don't know if I will be like that or not. And my experience of fostering has given me reason to suspect I may have a similar experience to my mum.

Having met 3 sets of parents who said that parenting was what they had always expected, along with many who were beyond shocked by parenting, I have cause to believe that either can happen. It's hardly surprising, is it. It's not something that can be compared to scuba-diving or horse-riding. We are born to parent, survival of the species is our over-riding instinct. Women are born with their eggs already formed. That some parents find it an incredibly natural process which meets their expectations and they take to easily is hardly surprising. It's nature.

Do you really think that your experience is definitive? That what you have felt is the only way that things can be? As I have met people who have had polar opposite reactions to the same event I see that different people are different. That no matter how the experience of parenting eventually effects me, that is not definitive of everyone else.

poet123

You really are missing the point, make that every point.

warehouse

poet123 wrote: »

You really are missing the point, make that every point.

Agreed, so much so that it would appear that she is possibly a troll :eek:

peachyprice

GracieP wrote: »

Where are my views idealistic?

right here

Tbh, I couldn't bear to have a child if I couldn't stay home with them each day. I'm also a huge advocate of home education, as I firmly believe that in many cases parents can provide their children with a far, far superior education than that available in schools. I intend to offer it to my children as an alternative to school if they prefer it.

And can we have a link to these please

Actually studies show that home-educated children have better social skills than those in schools.

milliebear00001

Having met 3 sets of parents who said that parenting was what they had always expected, along with many who were beyond shocked by parenting, I have cause to believe that either can happen. It's hardly surprising, is it. It's not something that can be compared to scuba-diving or horse-riding. We are born to parent, survival of the species is our over-riding instinct. Women are born with their eggs already formed. That some parents find it an incredibly natural process which meets their expectations and they take to easily is hardly surprising. It's nature.

It's not about being 'shocked' by parenting, or the expectations of our pre-children plans being fulfilled. It is a simple fact that for some people, LIFE gets in the way of the best laid plans. I was not 'shocked' or surprised by the difficulties of parenting as you put it, but I was (for example) by my husband being diagnosed with a debilitating condition. You might not be able to see how you could 'bear' to have kids if you can't stay at home with them, but you are naive beyond belief if you think you'll automatically have the choice. What if you were divorced, or widowed? What if you had the kids and found yourself mind-numbingly bored by the experience, or half-dead from post-natal depression everyday. The point people are trying to make is that whatever ideals and plans you (or the five (!) sets of parents you are basing your observations on) have, parents don't always have much of a choice about how they bring up their children. The compromises you make as a parent are not always the ones you expect to have to make. This is why I am a less 'extreme' person now in my judgements of other parent's choices, and about my own, perhaps amended or abandoned, plans when it comes to raising my children. That's a good thing, not a failure.
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foreign_correspondent

well....this all appears to have turned into a parents vs non parents bun fight!

OP - any luck on a new childminder yet? and have you heard anything back from the childminders assoc about this case?