Childminder hit my child

dieselhead

I remember my grandad and I use to love to debate current affairs we would often have different perspectives and I used to love the grown-up debates however, if he was loosing the argument (he was an extremely bad looser) or I had picked holes in his argument, he would often end the debate by saying 'you will understand when you are older dear' I used to find this so incredibly offensive. I find the attitude of 'as a mother I think..' exactly the same extraordinary patronising, as if my opinion is somehow irrelevant. I am sure that there are parents on MSE who have wildly different values and ideas about parenting in fact even on this thread there have been two parents who have given permission for their children to be smacked, while there are others who balk at the the thought of doing it themselves let along allowing someone else. So while I agree that being a parent makes you an expert on your own child, it doesn't make you an expert on everyone elses.

poet123

dieselhead wrote: »

So while I agree that being a parent makes you an expert on your own child, it doesn't make you an expert on everyone elses.

Where has anyone said that was the case?

dieselhead

poet123 wrote: »

Where has anyone said that was the case?

It is the inference that exists on this thread after all if that were not the assumption then there would be no difference between a parent's and a non parents opinion on someone else's child.

galvanizersbaby

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

well....this all appears to have turned into a parents vs non parents bun fight!

OP - any luck on a new childminder yet? and have you heard anything back from the childminders assoc about this case?

I was wondering this too

Had to chuckle as the poster that was most offended and kicked all off is now being suitably offended on another child related post so I have to conclude that perhaps as another poster stated many posts ago all this bickering and offensive relates to other issues which nobody on mse can influence

poet123

dieselhead wrote: »

It is the inference that exists on this thread after all if that were not the assumption then there would be no difference between a parent's and a non parents opinion on someone else's child.

I cant see it. Itis the difference between someone having direct experience of any given thing, and someone having no direct experience just having observed.

Dave101t

all i know is if i had a kid misbehaving, i would teach it to behave.

sporedude

Hope the childminder loses her job.

dieselhead

poet123 wrote: »

I cant see it. Itis the difference between someone having direct experience of any given thing, and someone having no direct experience just having observed.

Absolutely, you have had direct experience of parenting your own child, their personality, problems, ideals, but other peoples children will have different personalities etc.

peachyprice

Erm, it's illegal here too, but that didn't stop the childminder :rolleyes:

milliebear00001

dieselhead wrote: »

Absolutely, you have had direct experience of parenting your own child, their personality, problems, ideals, but other peoples children will have different personalities etc.

That's just rubbish. You are in effect saying tht people don't exist in groups. I understand more about parenting any child than somebody who has no experience of parenting at all. I know less than each individual parent does about parenting that individual child, but his does not negate or devalue my knowledge of the commonality of issues dealt with by parents. To use the example I gave earlier, it's like saying gay people don't have a better understanding of being gay, or black people have no more right to comment on black issues than a white person - this would be truly patronising! By virtue of their experience, these people have first hand knowledge that other groups don't. People within a group (like parents and children) don't have to be exactly the same in order to have many common experiences that people outside that group don't have.