Childminder hit my child

poet123

dieselhead wrote: »

Absolutely, you have had direct experience of parenting your own child, their personality, problems, ideals, but other peoples children will have different personalities etc.

Of course I have more experience of parenting my own 4 children than anyone else. Equally, I have more transferable experience of parenting full stop, than those without children.

That is not rocket science, but common sense.

KellyWelly

GracieP wrote: »

As a childless person ...who has put herself in serious danger of the loss of freedom or physical health. Who has been beaten by militia. Who has spent nights frightened I wouldn't live through, listening to screams of people in the next building being tortured while the building I'm in has been surrounded by by armed military and our phonelines have been cut and the nearby mobile base station has been switched off so we can't call out. As someone who has sat with the family of a friend while working to get word if the bullet she has taken when she stood between a soldier and a child (who was not hers) has killed her.

You must have spent the night in Brynmawr. I've seen it with my own eyes, it can be rough.

I bet you'll be wishing in a few years time if/when you've got your own children that your words were made of chocolate, cos you're gonna be eating the little blighters.

dieselhead

Many childless people have much experience of children, whether teaching them for 7 hours a day, caring for them in a nursery or in their own home. They learn to understand children's behaviour, though experience, I would suggest that a teacher will have more hours of experience with a wide range of children's problems issues and successes than the average parent, and yet it is being suggested that as they do not have the experience of children of their own they should not comment on issues around children.

I feel you have been a little hard on GracieP, there is no reason that she shouldn't raise her children, to her ideals of home schooling etc. Many parents have gone down this route successfully, and many parents choose differently, it further goes to demonstrate that there are so many varying ideas surrounding the raising of children.

poet123

I agree they learn to understand the behaviour from a particular perspective, that of a teacher, not that of another parent. That is a very different perspective. Not worse, just different.

To continue with your analogy, would you expect a parent to be able to go into school and teach with the same level of experience as a trained teacher? I wouldnt think so. So why expect a trained teacher with no personal knowledge of being a parent to be qualified to do the same thing in reverse?

milliebear00001

dieselhead wrote: »

Many childless people have much experience of children, whether teaching them for 7 hours a day, caring for them in a nursery or in their own home. They learn to understand children's behaviour, though experience, I would suggest that a teacher will have more hours of experience with a wide range of children's problems issues and successes than the average parent, and yet it is being suggested that as they do not have the experience of children of their own they should not comment on issues around children.

I feel you have been a little hard on GracieP, there is no reason that she shouldn't raise her children, to her ideals of home schooling etc. Many parents have gone down this route successfully, and many parents choose differently, it further goes to demonstrate that there are so many varying ideas surrounding the raising of children.

I am a teacher AND a parent. They involve a completely different kind of knowledge, experience and skillset. To suggest a teacher is qualified to comment on parenting (not 'issues around children') just because of their job, is bizarre.

dieselhead

poet123 wrote: »

I agree they learn to understand the behaviour from a particular perspective, that of a teacher, not that of another parent. That is a very different perspective. Not worse, just different.

To continue with your analogy, would you expect a parent to be able to go into school and teach with the same level of experience as a trained teacher? I wouldnt think so. So why expect a trained teacher with no personal knowledge of being a parent to be qualified to do the same thing in reverse?

Anyone of us is qualified to be a parent, there is no training!

JoeyG

buckscoop wrote: »

If you don't want him to be smacked - then move to New Zealand - its illegal there to smack a child!

no need, the law was broken here

pinkgirl2009

noodledoodle78 wrote: »

Hoping you can offer some advice/ opinions on this one....

My DS 3 goes to a childminder fulltime and has done so since he was four months old. He seems to adore her and vice versa.

I went to pick my ds up after work from my parents who collect him from the childminder every day. They told me that my ds had run away from the childminder whilst out shopping. He seemed really unhappy and kept saying "**** smacked my bum. I am not a bad boy mummy I am a good boy. " I must admit I dismissed it out of hand that she had smacked him and was just concerned that he was safe and OK.

When I got home I spoke to my OH and we agreed that we would phone the childminder and find out what had happened. I was a bit annoyed that she had not contacted me herself to let me know what had happened.

She told me that on Friday they were in a shopping centre with the childminder's mum and my ds "ran away". They were in M&S and he was hiding under the clothes rails as apparently he normally does. Only this time he did not come out. Apparently they spent about 10 minutes racing around trying to find him. They eventually got hold of a security guard and the whole shopping centre was about to be locked down when they found him on one of the rides in the main mall. They had told him he would be allowed on the ride after they had done their shopping and it seems he just wandered off.

She admitted straight away that she smacked him as she was so worried and upset when he had gone missing and wanted to make sure he understood the seriousness of what he had done. She said she treats him as one of her own and that is what she would have done with her own children. She said she would probably get the sack for admitting this in a joking way.

I told her I understood why she did it as I didn't know what else to say.

I can understand that both the CM and her mum were frantic with worry but my OH is adamant that she should not have smacked him. It was not her decision to make.

What worries me is that there have been a number of times previously when my ds has told me that he has been smacked. I understand that kids can make things up - I had previously dismissed this when he had told me, but after Friday I am wondering whether or not this may have happened before. I am not for one minute suggesting she is constantly abusing - I just think she may be using this as a form of punishment if he is naughty.

I brought him to the childminder today and she just shrugged off what had happened. My DS was really unhappy to be there and kept telling me tha the childminder was a naughty girl. I have told him that no-one is allowed to smack him and he must tell me if it happens and to tell the childminder that she is not allowed to smack him.

What do you think?

well i you ask me and they hit or smacked my child i would have gone to the police. this is just not right naughty or not. THIS IS HOW IT HAPPENS OR COULD BE THE START OF IT .
,manchester has a no smacking rule or hitting. i was told this of a s/worker who i know .

pinkgirl2009

JoeyG wrote: »

no need, the law was broken here

YOUR SO RIGHT HERE. LAW IS BROKEN . GO TO THE POLICE. THERE YOUR LITTLE GEMS OR GEM. my little is the best and if any hit smacked i would go to the police and hit them 1st... no one hits or smacks my child

Chas

pinkgirl2009 wrote: »

my little is the best and if any hit smacked i would go to the police and hit them 1st... no one hits or smacks my child

No one hits or smacks your child but you'd hit someone else? What kind of mixed messages are you giving your child?