Childminder hit my child

foi1983

Jane_Blackford wrote: »

I have not read the whole thread but I realise that there are a lot of opposing views on this subject.

A smack is a reminder that what they have done is wrong. By running off he got everyone running around after him and got the attention he was probably after. At that age a good telling off is often forgotten in no time flat - obviously in this case a smack is not forgotten. He now knows if he runs off he will get a smack as well as the attention and this may make him less likely to run off.

If I were in your childminder's shoes I would now have him in reins every time I took him out - my son ran off once. One minute he was holding on to the puschair, the next he was not - he had gone outside the shop because he did not like shopping. I took him into the loos, made sure they were empty, then smacked him. He never did it again.

On the other hand I know someone that did not believe in smacking. Every time her daughter misbehaved she was told she would not go to the park. Every time they ended up going to the park anyway. Her daughter is now 22 and serving her first (albeit short) jail sentence.

What utter rubbish!!

So you have conclusive proof that the reason the child is in jail is because they did not get smacked. Pull the other one love. Your ignorance astounds me.

Caroline73_2

Jane_Blackford wrote: »

On the other hand I know someone that did not believe in smacking. Every time her daughter misbehaved she was told she would not go to the park. Every time they ended up going to the park anyway. Her daughter is now 22 and serving her first (albeit short) jail sentence.

I'd hazard a guess that it wasn't the lack of smacking that led your friends daughter into a life of misbehaving and criminal activity, but a lack of consistent rule setting and reprimand.

To suggest that smacking is the way to get your child to behave is absurd.

I'm disgusted that someone would smack a child so hard that they never forgot it. Surely it's better to reward the good behaviour than to scare them into doing it?

galvanizersbaby

Maybe one of the mods should move this thread to Discussion time as it seems to be going off on several tangents now with general discussion re parenting methods etc...:)

Crispy_Ambulance

I know I'm echoing what others have said, but the OP should report her and stop using her immediately. She should not be hitting (and let's not sanitise it, smacking is hitting) children in her care and she should not be shopping for clothes when she is being paid to look after someone else's child.

She should be stopped from childminding as she obviously doesn't know how to do the job. There are some fantastic childminders out there and this woman gives them all a bad name.

mamamia

lilmrsmullen wrote: »

Get him out of there ASAP. A childminder shoudl never treat another child like their own.

I have not read thru all the posts but I find this very interesting. I am in the childcare profession and I treat all the children I look after like mine without taking the roles of their parents. I have this in the information packs I give to parents and they are very happy with this.

The childminder was wrong not to follow her own and Ofsted rule of no smacking but I think she is someone you can trust. What if she had told you a different story? If I were in your shoes, I would stick with her. When I was growing up abroad, anyone could smack or tell you off if you were naughty and your parents would thank them, but things have changed. Perharps, that is why we have many unruly children about who have no clue about anything.

peachyprice

mamamia wrote: »

I
The childminder was wrong not to follow her own and Ofsted rule of no smacking but I think she is someone you can trust. What if she had told you a different story? If I were in your shoes, I would stick with her.

I think she's proved, unequivocally, that she definitley CANNOT be trusted. She has broken OP's trust on so many levels.

She smacked the child
She didn't tell the parent until pressed that she had
She showed little remorse for smacking the child
She lost the child, paying more attention to her shopping than him
She has possibly smacked the child before
She took him shopping which served no educational purpose to the child, it was for her own selfish reason
She didn't take any form of restrain/pushchair for a child she knows will wander off when she takes him on these types of shopping trips.

Hmmm, yes, there's a childminder you can trust :rolleyes:

Bettyboop

Surely she could have done her shopping at the weekend. I would have thought play groups or a visit to the park would have been better for the child/children she is looking after. I don't know if I agree with the comment "I treat other children like my own" and this is why:

I take my son to the same playgroup every week and so does a childminder. She takes her daughter and a little boy she has been looking after since he was 8 months old and now he is nearly 3. At every session her daughter gets all her attention and the little boy is left to his own devices! I go every week and it's the same way. I noticed her in Tesco buying sweets for her daughter once but not for the little boy? I have seen his mother give him sweets before so it's not like he is not allowed to have them. Her daughter is 4 as well. I thought that was selfish aswell. So while they were walking the daughter was munching on Haribo's and the little boy was just staring. How sad. It's made worse really because I used the same childminder for a few months before my daughter started school. So in hindsight treating other kids as your own I doubt it! A little off topic I know.

Oh and just to echo she accepted a lift home with another childminder even though she didn't have two extra car seats for her daughter and the little boy- shocking! That happened today!

sporedude

mamamia wrote: »

I have not read thru all the posts but I find this very interesting. I am in the childcare profession and I treat all the children I look after like mine without taking the roles of their parents. I have this in the information packs I give to parents and they are very happy with this.

The childminder was wrong not to follow her own and Ofsted rule of no smacking but I think she is someone you can trust. What if she had told you a different story? If I were in your shoes, I would stick with her. When I was growing up abroad, anyone could smack or tell you off if you were naughty and your parents would thank them, but things have changed. Perharps, that is why we have many unruly children about who have no clue about anything.

Lol? Trustworthy? Lol who are you kidding here.

DaisyFlower

mamamia wrote: »

I have not read thru all the posts but I find this very interesting. I am in the childcare profession and I treat all the children I look after like mine without taking the roles of their parents. I have this in the information packs I give to parents and they are very happy with this.

The childminder was wrong not to follow her own and Ofsted rule of no smacking but I think she is someone you can trust. What if she had told you a different story? If I were in your shoes, I would stick with her. When I was growing up abroad, anyone could smack or tell you off if you were naughty and your parents would thank them, but things have changed. Perharps, that is why we have many unruly children about who have no clue about anything.

Smacking a child after losing him on a personal shopping trip is not my idea of a person I could trust. Coming from a childcare profession its worrying you think that what she did was fine.

Childminding is a job, she should be shopping on her own time not whilst having mindees with her. The child should have been playing or at the park etc and being looked after in a correct manner.

I wouldnt ever use a CM but I know they are very popular with other mums. However, if I did use a CM, i would have pulled my child out at the first mention of any smacking rather than contining to send them.

JWM

poet123 wrote: »

Well, yes you can ask, but as this is a forum others do not have to comply, particularly when it is quite rudely phrased.

I think Orkneystar in post 229 summed up what Kellywelly meant by her posts re parents. As a parent you do have more empathy with other parents, and can appreciate the stresses parenthood places on mothers and fathers. If you don't have children then you may have a level of understanding but it cant be as deep as those who do.

The people who have taken offence, seem to have taken it in the wrong way, and tbh that probably stems from other issues rather than what the poster actually said.

Apologies if you think I was rude, wasn't meant that way.

Any update OP? Hope your little little lad is OK.