Childminder hit my child

KellyWelly

I didn't 'backtrack', I clarified my position because people projected their own upsets and emotions onto me and tried to imply that I had said something I did not. I can assure you I have no need to backtrack.

Craftyscholar

KellyWelly wrote: »

Actually - and this will sound condescending - you really can't understand how mothers think and feel unless you are one. I never understood this until I had my first, it's hard to put into words. Something chemical changes in your brain and it consumes you, you change completely. I read somewhere before I had kids that the chemical changes in your body from having a baby last for years and years - even if you miscarry or abort - which I remember because it was a reseach article on abortion.

Still not sure what I 'misunderstood'.

JWM

Could I please ask that the folks who are bickering about parents/non-parents please stop or take it to a new thread.

I'm interested in the OP's problem, but this thread has been hijacked but posters who are absolutely determined to have an argument. :rolleyes:

The issue is the OP's childminder hit her child, frankly the rest is irrelevant.

Thanks

poet123

Well, yes you can ask, but as this is a forum others do not have to comply, particularly when it is quite rudely phrased.

I think Orkneystar in post 229 summed up what Kellywelly meant by her posts re parents. As a parent you do have more empathy with other parents, and can appreciate the stresses parenthood places on mothers and fathers. If you don't have children then you may have a level of understanding but it cant be as deep as those who do.

The people who have taken offence, seem to have taken it in the wrong way, and tbh that probably stems from other issues rather than what the poster actually said.

HariboJunkie

noodledoodle78 wrote: »

Hi Guys

First a thank you to all of you for your replies and the public flogging which was probably deserved on some aspects.

I have left my son with my mum today and have a list of childminders to phone around. I am not prepared to leave him with the current childminder.

I have contacted the childminding association and got their charter which clearly states smacking is not allowed. I am going to write to her and the childminding association to explain that he will not be going back.

I am absolutely distraught about the whole thing and really disappointed in myself that I didn't listen to him when he first told me. Even thinking about it makes me feel sick.

I will keep you updated with the new childminder etc.

Please don't beat yourself up. You were very brave to ask for advice on here and I'm sorry that so many posts went off topic. I think the only thing we haven't discussed is breastfeeding and whether Mothers are the spawn of Satan if they don't.

Take care of yourselves and all the best with finding a CM you can trust.

Haribo x

Money_maker

JWM wrote: »

Could I please ask that the folks who are bickering about parents/non-parents please stop or take it to a new thread.

I'm interested in the OP's problem, but this thread has been hijacked but posters who are absolutely determined to have an argument. :rolleyes:

The issue is the OP's childminder hit her child, frankly the rest is irrelevant.

Thanks

Thought I'd strayed onto one of the other more aggressive boards here!

OP, just a quick thought. The childminders in my area are very 'clicky' with one another. Not a bad thing as they lend each other support. You may find any other childminders are friendly with this one - they may even all meet up together so your child may well come into contact with your old one again. Tread carefully.

Craftyscholar

JWM wrote: »

Could I please ask that the folks who are bickering about parents/non-parents please stop or take it to a new thread.

I'm interested in the OP's problem, but this thread has been hijacked but posters who are absolutely determined to have an argument. :rolleyes:

The issue is the OP's childminder hit her child, frankly the rest is irrelevant.

Thanks

I apologise for getting involved in the sidetrack, but I refuse to apologise to anyone for defending my mother and all the other mothers who created safe loving caring families in spite of not having given birth to their children.

foreign_correspondent

Money_maker wrote: »

OP, just a quick thought. The childminders in my area are very 'clicky' with one another. Not a bad thing as they lend each other support. You may find any other childminders are friendly with this one - they may even all meet up together so your child may well come into contact with your old one again. Tread carefully.

Whilst the Op needs to deal with this in an above-board manner, ie. reporting it to the relevant authority rather than bad mouthing the childminder, she must deal with it, and should not fear whisle-blowing on this woman's practice - I am sure any other responsible childminder will be shocked by this woman's actions, and will be behind the OP totally - they will understand her concerns!

Here is an article re: the case of a child-minder whose practice was whistle blown on by a young student who was on work experience - a brave thing for the student to do, and as one parent said, people must not turn a blind eye. To turn a blind eye actually colludes with the practice and enables these people to carry on acting in an unlawful and inappropriate manner.

PARENTS told how they felt "numb" and "betrayed" as they heard how a Stockport childminder repeatedly force–fed and smacked children in her care.
An established childminder of 13 years, a school governor and heavily involved with the Stockport Childminders’ Association, Lesley Thompson, 52, seemed the "ideal choice to work with children", Stockport Magistrates heard.
But parents sobbed as they listened to Thompson’s catalogue of assaults on children under the age of five.
The court heard how mum-of-two Thompson, of Rosedale Road, Heaton Chapel:

Held together the cheeks of a six–month–old baby girl, who cried as she forced food into her mouth and pushed her cheeks closed to make her swallow.

Stood over children while they were eating making sure they ate everything on their plates, saying: "Do you want this the easy way or the hard way?"

Repeatedly smacked a toddler after he accidentally stepped on her foot saying with each slap "You naughty, naughty, naughty boy."

Stormed over to two children and smacked them on the back of the hand after they spilt some drink from a beaker into their crumpets.
A work experience student from Stockport College informed the authorities after she became concerned at Thompson’s treatment of the children.
Thompson, who achieved "outstanding" Ofsted reports, admitted to four counts of common assault on children under the age of five, and said she could not pin-point specific incidents, but the evidence given all "sounded in-keeping with the kind of thing I would do".
Chairman of the Stockport Magistrates bench Alf Clark took into account Thompson’s previous good character, the fact that she pleaded guilty at the first opportunity, and had shown genuine remorse and regret.
But he said the offences were particularly serious because she had carried out the assaults on four young and vulnerable victims both in public and in front of other children, and had abused her position of trust and authority.
Magistrates ruled that Thompson should serve a four month sentence - suspended for 12 months- and carry out 200 hours of unpaid work.
She was ordered to pay £60 prosecution costs and £150 compensation to each of the four young victims although, Alf Clark said the children and the families "could never be fully compensated" for what they had been through.
Speaking outside the court, one parent, who did not wish to be named, said: "I just feel completely numb. I don’t know if I’ll ever leave my children in a nursery again, I feel completely betrayed."
Another distressed parent said: "This should not have happened. People just turn a blind eye, why did it take a work experience student to say something and report this? It’s just not right that young children are treated in this way. It was going on for months and I think she had to be made an example of."

link: http://www.stockportexpress.co.uk/news/s/1050500_betrayed_by_the_childminder_who_forcefed_and_smacked_children_in_her_care

Bettyboop

I haven't read all the replies but would certainly suggest you find another form of childcare. I realise that childminders need to go shopping now and again but obviously she was distracted enough to loose him and it doesn't matter than he is 3 he could have been strapped in a pushchair in a busy shopping centre? I would have thought she could have kept him happy in a pram with a piece of fruit and drink if she had to look at clothes. Smacking someone else's child is unacceptable and only parents have the right to choose this as a punishment ONLY in exceptional circumstances. I would be livid if anyone else smacked my kids!

barnaby-bear

JWM wrote: »

The issue is the OP's childminder hit her child, frankly the rest is irrelevant.

Thanks

I didn't get to the smacking bit I was still gobsmacked at the *losing* them - for so long the shopping centre got locked down.... I'm so careful with my neighbour's dog - it's their dog - it stays on a lead........ and I still hate doing it..... imagine explaining losing someone else's brat.... :eek: