Childminder hit my child

maryotuam

Noodledoodle, you have my sympathy because being a mum is so hard in today's society. I think Mums should be paid to look after the under 5's because it is such an important time in children's development. And these children are our future taxpayers. Whilst smacking is illegal, so many of us older folk survived unscathed from our experiences. If the overall experience of your child has been good don't worry too much.

Take your time to ensure you find a good replacement. Common sense would dictate that you tell the childminder that you would prefer, on reflection, that she didn't smack him. If his behaviour is a problem she should discuss it with you. Ask around for reccommendations and as soon as you find a better placement, then withdraw your son.

Lunar_Eclipse

a8amg wrote: »

A smack is controlled and done with love not anger.

You can't be serious. There is absolutely no love involved in smacking, but anger is often present. A smack is done when control is lost and love is far from the mind!

jellyhead

I'm surprised at how many people criticise the boy's behaviour He often hides in the rails while shopping with the childminder - she lets him do it. She doesn't keep him next to her and hasn't told him that he must stay within eyeshot. It's not the little boy's fault that on this occasion he wandered too far and they weren't watching him! He's not a badly behaved child, he's just doing what the childminder always lets him do and it seems unfair that he was punished just for wandering further than usual.

dizziblonde

As someone suffering from fertility issues and also a qualified teacher - can I just state how offensive and distressing I found the comments earlier in the thread that people who haven't had children can't possibly be good people to look after other people's children? My problems with my plumbing do not in any way shape of form qualify or disqualify me from my ability to do my job. It's a regular comment people make, without thought for those who may be childless for reasons you cannot know (and not always because they'd rather blow all their money on booze, flash cars, fast living and baking on a beach half the year) and it really really really offends and upsets me greatly. Now you may resume the public flogging or whatever you've decided to do.

JoeyG

Unless you are 110% sure about this childminder, then you should get another... the fact you posted on here in the first place should answer that

Personally I wouldn't even leave my car at a garage I wasn't sure about, let alone leave my child with someone who acted outside agreed guidelines and regulations... You shouldn't think twice about this, if the childminder is professional they will accept it as part of business, if not then it just reinforces your decision.

Zazen999

dizziblonde wrote: »

As someone suffering from fertility issues and also a qualified teacher - can I just state how offensive and distressing I found the comments earlier in the thread that people who haven't had children can't possibly be good people to look after other people's children? My problems with my plumbing do not in any way shape of form qualify or disqualify me from my ability to do my job. It's a regular comment people make, without thought for those who may be childless for reasons you cannot know (and not always because they'd rather blow all their money on booze, flash cars, fast living and baking on a beach half the year) and it really really really offends and upsets me greatly. Now you may resume the public flogging or whatever you've decided to do.

Very true.

A bit like 'as a mother I am shocked at this behaviour/sentence/situation'....:rolleyes:

Non-mothers don't count obviously.

KellyWelly

Zazen999 wrote: »

Very true.

A bit like 'as a mother I am shocked at this behaviour/sentence/situation'....:rolleyes:

Non-mothers don't count obviously.

Actually - and this will sound condescending - you really can't understand how mothers think and feel unless you are one. I never understood this until I had my first, it's hard to put into words. Something chemical changes in your brain and it consumes you, you change completely. I read somewhere before I had kids that the chemical changes in your body from having a baby last for years and years - even if you miscarry or abort - which I remember because it was a reseach article on abortion.

That being said, we are all humans and we all have instincts and everyone 'counts', what I think is meant by 'as a mother...' is that they have a certain empathy because they are in the same position.

dizziblonde

Some of us may never have that luxury but time and time again on this site I see childminders and teachers slated for not having children of their own. I may never have children - because of problems with my plumbing system. It does not make me any less dedicated, competent or caring - but people on here persist in the mistaken judgement that just because sperm hasn't met egg (egg decided not to show up because it was washing its hair) - I'm not good at my job. It offends me, it upsets me, it distresses me greatly and it's about flipping time that someone spoke up against people who work in child-related professions being judged adversely based upon their reproductive status. I'm sick of the assumption that because I have no children I'm callous, self-centred, unprofessional, not to mention a worthless member of society etc etc... I don't have - because as far as I know until I get some answers from the medical profession - I can't.

Zazen999

KellyWelly wrote: »

Actually - and this will sound condescending - you really can't understand how mothers think and feel unless you are one. I never understood this until I had my first, it's hard to put into words. Something chemical changes in your brain and it consumes you, you change completely. I read somewhere before I had kids that the chemical changes in your body from having a baby last for years and years - even if you miscarry or abort - which I remember because it was a reseach article on abortion.

That being said, we are all humans and we all have instincts and everyone 'counts', what I think is meant by 'as a mother...' is that they have a certain empathy because they are in the same position.

Yes, it is condescending.

I lost mine unfortunately - but I don't condescend to others who don't lose babies.

You don't have to be a mother to have a problem with pedophiles/abusers etc etc - but your post shows just how insulting people can be to those that aren't.

lostinrates

dizziblonde wrote: »

Some of us may never have that luxury but time and time again on this site I see childminders and teachers slated for not having children of their own. I may never have children - because of problems with my plumbing system. It does not make me any less dedicated, competent or caring - but people on here persist in the mistaken judgement that just because sperm hasn't met egg (egg decided not to show up because it was washing its hair) - I'm not good at my job. It offends me, it upsets me, it distresses me greatly and it's about flipping time that someone spoke up against people who work in child-related professions being judged adversely based upon their reproductive status. I'm sick of the assumption that because I have no children I'm callous, self-centred, unprofessional, not to mention a worthless member of society etc etc... I don't have - because as far as I know until I get some answers from the medical profession - I can't.

I'm in a similar position to you dizzyblonde in that I am unlikely to have children. I have two neices who I love and who lived with me when they were small, and I would love to be a mother and take great interest and feel I AM able to feel empathy for mothers in various situations. I'd say that the ''you don't get it unless you are a mother arguement'' may well hold some reasoning if people who have no desire to have kids/no contact with children ever, but equally, I'd say its a flawed theory as sadly its not uknown for mother's to fail to feel adaquate maternal instinct: other wise we wouldn't have such shocking situations with abuse/neglect/families just not pulling it together.